Undying Love
Chapter 11- Cherokee Rose
When I got back to the farm and away from Daryl, I headed straight towards camp, thankful that the majority of the group was gathered by what I assumed was one of the wells. I did momentarily debate about going over to see what was happening, but in the end I decided against it.
I was absolutely heartbroken after what Daryl had said. Even if it was in the heat of the moment like yesterday, there must have still been an ounce of truth behind it. No matter how angry I was at him, I would never tell him I didn't care about him because for one, it would be a total lie and for two, I know it would hurt him and that was the last thing I wanted to do. Maybe I've just been kidding myself the entire time; maybe it has always been about the sex for him.
A couple of tents had already been set up but I didn't know yet, which one was mine. So I went into the RV, slamming the door closed in frustration as I did so. It wasn't until I looked up that I realised Carol was there as well. She looked just as startled to see me as I was to see her, but neither of us said anything. She was sat at the table, faint tear stained cheeks and red, puffy eyes. "Do you want me to-" I began but she quickly cut me off. "No. Stay, please" she said, pointing to the seat on the opposite side of the table.
"How are you?" she asked after a few minutes of silence. I couldn't believe she was asking me how I was... it should be me asking her. "I'm alright," I lied. "What about you?" I asked, trying to not make it sound pitiful in any way. I think with everyone wrapping her up in cotton wool and treading on eggshells around her, she just wanted someone to talk to her how they normally would, before Sophia disappeared. "Tired" she said with a small and somewhat forced laugh. I glanced around the RV and let out a little chuckle myself, "I can see why." The RV was spotless! The cups, plates and bowls were washed, dried and stacked. The sink, oven, fridge and counter surfaces were sparkling. She seriously had been hard at work. "I've just been trying to keep busy. Shane said he'll drive me out to the interstate, see if she found her way back" she said, glancing out the window at the group who were still busy by the well. "Come on," I said whilst standing up from the table and moving over to the cupboard where the gun bag was kept. "I'll take you."
"Are you sure you don't mind?" Carol asked as we got to her jeep. "Of course not, Carol. Besides," I said whilst sliding into the drivers seat and waited for Carol to climb into the passengers. "It's been a while since I've got to drive a car" I informed her with a huge grin on my face. She smiled properly at me as I started up the jeep and began the drive back to highway.
~
Nothing. Everything was exactly how they left it and there was no sign that Sophia was ever here. Carol had been stood staring at the yellow car since we got here, whilst I checked a few of the cars around just in the hope that she had bunked down in one and was still asleep...but to no avail. "There's always the chance that Daryl's found-" I began optimistically, but like back at the RV, she cut me off. "Don't. I really don't need to hear it anymore Lacey. Save the thoughts and prayers" she said before calmly heading back towards the jeep. "You cant give up" I stated loudly enough so she could hear me and she defiantly did. She stopped walking but kept her back to me, but I continued talking nevertheless. "Your little girl has watched her mom be strong, even when she had every reason to break down. Shes watched her mom stay loyal to her husband, even when she had every reason to run away. Shes watched her mom be a fighter, her entire life!" I said, slowly making my way towards her. "Wheres that strong, loyal, fighter of a mom now? Because your little girl needs you now more then ever."
Carol said nothing as she simply opened the passenger door and climbed in. It wasn't the response I was hoping to receive because I hated the silence treatment. If she was upset with what I had said, Id rather her tell me or slap me, anything to show me how she was feeling. With a loud sigh I slid into the jeep and started the ignition. Now I had to drive back with Carol staring blankly out the window -probably angry with me- and then face Daryl again once we got to the farm. Suddenly I wished I was in Sophia's shoes, that way everyone would be happy.
~
When we got back to the farm Shane had ago at me for leaving and not telling but to me surprise Carol defended me and said it was both of us who decided to go, not just me. Back in the RV I thanked for and she gave me a small smile in return, which I guess meant she wasn't pissed off with me for what I said back on the interstate, or she was at least less pissed off then she was. After that she went and sat in the back of the RV whilst I said sitting at the table, my legs propped up on the seat in front of me as I sat with my back against the window. I jumped when the door to the RV swung open and cursed under my breath when I saw it was Daryl coming inside. Fuck. Today really wasn't my day.
When his eyes locked on mine he stared at me, his expression; unreadable. I was the first to break the awkward eye-contact, seeing him bringing all my emotions from earlier bubbling back to the surface. From the corner of my eye, I could see him frozen in the same spot until clearing his throat and moving past me toward the back of the RV to speak to Carol. "Cleaned up. Wanted it to be nice for her" Carol said, obviously Daryl had been looking around at her hard work as he walked past me. "For a second, I thought I was in the wrong place" Daryl replied and if I wasn't so upset and angry with him, it probably would have made me laugh like it did to Carol. It went momentarily quiet until a small thud and Carol saying, "Flower?" Had Daryl given her a flower?
"Its a Cherokee Rose," he explained, but either way, he had still given her a flower. "The story is that when American soldiers were movin' Indians off their land, along a trail of tears, the Cherokee mothers were cryin' an' grievin' so much; cause they were losing their little ones along the way. Exposure an' disease, starvation. A lot of 'em just disappeared. So the elders they uh, said a prayer, ask for a sigh to uplift the mothers spirits, give them strength...hope. The next day erm, this rose started to grow right where the mothers tears fell" Daryl explained and even I saw it as some kind of hope for Sophia so I cant imagine how it must be making Carol feel. "I'm not fool enough to think there's any flowers bloomin' for my brother. But uh, I believe this one, it bloomed for your little girl" he said finally making my watering eyes cry.
It was so weird hearing him say someone so nice to someone else because normally he acted like he hated everyone, including me sometimes. I always knew it was just a masquerade; a performance he put on to try and impress Merle. But actually seeing and hearing him like that towards Carol surprised the hell out of me.
I quickly put my legs down and shuffled out from the table and rushed towards the door, desperately in need of some fresh air. "Lace," Daryl called, before there was a sudden grip on my wrist, pulling me back and into him. "Can we talk?" he asked in a hushed tone, turning to push the RV door shut with his free hand. Everything inside me was screaming for me to say yes but I couldn't form the simple word and instead something harsh and snappy came out, "I think you said everything that I need to hear earlier, don't you?" I shrugged off his grip and began walking back towards the now fully set up camp. "Lacey," Daryl called out again, now standing in front of me with his hands on either side of my waist to stop me from moving away. "Ten minutes, that's all I'm askin'," he stated pleadingly and I had to look away to stop myself from immediately caving. When I did look back up at him he had a desperate expression on his face, an expression I wasn't used to seeing and I was genuinely torn between my head and heart. "Please?"
I was absolutely heartbroken after what Daryl had said. Even if it was in the heat of the moment like yesterday, there must have still been an ounce of truth behind it. No matter how angry I was at him, I would never tell him I didn't care about him because for one, it would be a total lie and for two, I know it would hurt him and that was the last thing I wanted to do. Maybe I've just been kidding myself the entire time; maybe it has always been about the sex for him.
A couple of tents had already been set up but I didn't know yet, which one was mine. So I went into the RV, slamming the door closed in frustration as I did so. It wasn't until I looked up that I realised Carol was there as well. She looked just as startled to see me as I was to see her, but neither of us said anything. She was sat at the table, faint tear stained cheeks and red, puffy eyes. "Do you want me to-" I began but she quickly cut me off. "No. Stay, please" she said, pointing to the seat on the opposite side of the table.
"How are you?" she asked after a few minutes of silence. I couldn't believe she was asking me how I was... it should be me asking her. "I'm alright," I lied. "What about you?" I asked, trying to not make it sound pitiful in any way. I think with everyone wrapping her up in cotton wool and treading on eggshells around her, she just wanted someone to talk to her how they normally would, before Sophia disappeared. "Tired" she said with a small and somewhat forced laugh. I glanced around the RV and let out a little chuckle myself, "I can see why." The RV was spotless! The cups, plates and bowls were washed, dried and stacked. The sink, oven, fridge and counter surfaces were sparkling. She seriously had been hard at work. "I've just been trying to keep busy. Shane said he'll drive me out to the interstate, see if she found her way back" she said, glancing out the window at the group who were still busy by the well. "Come on," I said whilst standing up from the table and moving over to the cupboard where the gun bag was kept. "I'll take you."
"Are you sure you don't mind?" Carol asked as we got to her jeep. "Of course not, Carol. Besides," I said whilst sliding into the drivers seat and waited for Carol to climb into the passengers. "It's been a while since I've got to drive a car" I informed her with a huge grin on my face. She smiled properly at me as I started up the jeep and began the drive back to highway.
~
Nothing. Everything was exactly how they left it and there was no sign that Sophia was ever here. Carol had been stood staring at the yellow car since we got here, whilst I checked a few of the cars around just in the hope that she had bunked down in one and was still asleep...but to no avail. "There's always the chance that Daryl's found-" I began optimistically, but like back at the RV, she cut me off. "Don't. I really don't need to hear it anymore Lacey. Save the thoughts and prayers" she said before calmly heading back towards the jeep. "You cant give up" I stated loudly enough so she could hear me and she defiantly did. She stopped walking but kept her back to me, but I continued talking nevertheless. "Your little girl has watched her mom be strong, even when she had every reason to break down. Shes watched her mom stay loyal to her husband, even when she had every reason to run away. Shes watched her mom be a fighter, her entire life!" I said, slowly making my way towards her. "Wheres that strong, loyal, fighter of a mom now? Because your little girl needs you now more then ever."
Carol said nothing as she simply opened the passenger door and climbed in. It wasn't the response I was hoping to receive because I hated the silence treatment. If she was upset with what I had said, Id rather her tell me or slap me, anything to show me how she was feeling. With a loud sigh I slid into the jeep and started the ignition. Now I had to drive back with Carol staring blankly out the window -probably angry with me- and then face Daryl again once we got to the farm. Suddenly I wished I was in Sophia's shoes, that way everyone would be happy.
~
When we got back to the farm Shane had ago at me for leaving and not telling but to me surprise Carol defended me and said it was both of us who decided to go, not just me. Back in the RV I thanked for and she gave me a small smile in return, which I guess meant she wasn't pissed off with me for what I said back on the interstate, or she was at least less pissed off then she was. After that she went and sat in the back of the RV whilst I said sitting at the table, my legs propped up on the seat in front of me as I sat with my back against the window. I jumped when the door to the RV swung open and cursed under my breath when I saw it was Daryl coming inside. Fuck. Today really wasn't my day.
When his eyes locked on mine he stared at me, his expression; unreadable. I was the first to break the awkward eye-contact, seeing him bringing all my emotions from earlier bubbling back to the surface. From the corner of my eye, I could see him frozen in the same spot until clearing his throat and moving past me toward the back of the RV to speak to Carol. "Cleaned up. Wanted it to be nice for her" Carol said, obviously Daryl had been looking around at her hard work as he walked past me. "For a second, I thought I was in the wrong place" Daryl replied and if I wasn't so upset and angry with him, it probably would have made me laugh like it did to Carol. It went momentarily quiet until a small thud and Carol saying, "Flower?" Had Daryl given her a flower?
"Its a Cherokee Rose," he explained, but either way, he had still given her a flower. "The story is that when American soldiers were movin' Indians off their land, along a trail of tears, the Cherokee mothers were cryin' an' grievin' so much; cause they were losing their little ones along the way. Exposure an' disease, starvation. A lot of 'em just disappeared. So the elders they uh, said a prayer, ask for a sigh to uplift the mothers spirits, give them strength...hope. The next day erm, this rose started to grow right where the mothers tears fell" Daryl explained and even I saw it as some kind of hope for Sophia so I cant imagine how it must be making Carol feel. "I'm not fool enough to think there's any flowers bloomin' for my brother. But uh, I believe this one, it bloomed for your little girl" he said finally making my watering eyes cry.
It was so weird hearing him say someone so nice to someone else because normally he acted like he hated everyone, including me sometimes. I always knew it was just a masquerade; a performance he put on to try and impress Merle. But actually seeing and hearing him like that towards Carol surprised the hell out of me.
I quickly put my legs down and shuffled out from the table and rushed towards the door, desperately in need of some fresh air. "Lace," Daryl called, before there was a sudden grip on my wrist, pulling me back and into him. "Can we talk?" he asked in a hushed tone, turning to push the RV door shut with his free hand. Everything inside me was screaming for me to say yes but I couldn't form the simple word and instead something harsh and snappy came out, "I think you said everything that I need to hear earlier, don't you?" I shrugged off his grip and began walking back towards the now fully set up camp. "Lacey," Daryl called out again, now standing in front of me with his hands on either side of my waist to stop me from moving away. "Ten minutes, that's all I'm askin'," he stated pleadingly and I had to look away to stop myself from immediately caving. When I did look back up at him he had a desperate expression on his face, an expression I wasn't used to seeing and I was genuinely torn between my head and heart. "Please?"