Girls, Breaking Hearts

John the Fifth was in a serious predicament, a kind he had never been in before, nor had ever wanted to indulge in. When he’d hoped for a girlfriend, there were some set standards in his mind. For example; attractive, had a great taste in music and a sense of humour either same as his or one he could relate to, and one who regularly read books. Preferably one who was on the same page as him when it came to the dynamic of relationships, a lady who could accept his way of life and what his passion for music entailed.

In no way whatsoever, did he hope for a jailbait. A less than legal, tall brunette with the greenest of eyes, who had curves he couldn’t keep his eyes from. He definitely did not wish for a girlfriend about as old as his youngest brother, who he did not get along with quite well. And he most certainly did not hope for a girlfriend that was one of his brother’s close friends, and someone he used to babysit.

~

“Brooke,” he breathed deeply, running a hand through his hair as he thought of what he wanted to say. He was currently alone in his apartment, though that would soon change as she was on her way. For the last time, he thought, sighing again, as he let the words flow out of his mouth. “Brooke, we have to stop this once and for all. It’s not right.”

He couldn’t believe how many times he had rehearsed and delivered that stupid cliché, and though meaning it every time, the result he initially wanted to achieve never seemed to be carried out. Because two months after the first time he’d said it to her, what he wanted to put a stop to still happened over and over again. His words were bullshit, and all it took for him to change his mind was one kiss.

This time was different, though. He was determined to put a stop to it, as per Jared’s advice. They had nearly gotten caught twice by his brother, and John believed that third time was a charm and feared that Shane would put two and two together and finally realize that one of his closest friends was sleeping with his oldest brother.

John paced around his living room, and only stopped when someone knocked on the door. He didn’t move, though, because he recognized that knock and knew that an entrance would follow it. That was always what Brooke did. She’d knock, but would barge in right after doing so.

Come to think of it, it was what she did in his life as well.

He waited until she walked in, looking amazing as usual. She was simply wearing a plain white shirt and ripped denim shorts, and her hair was tied in a ponytail, but even in a laid-back look she could make John’s heart skip just a little bit.

“Hey.” She beamed as she approached, engulfing him in a hug and kissing his lips, neither of which he stopped or denied. “I’ve missed you.”

“Right back at you,” he said softly, and then cursed himself for doing so. He kept falling in this trap over and over again. When she wasn’t around, he would be adamant on calling it quits with her, but he was always apprehensive whenever graced with her presence.

She pulled back, and he stared into her bright green eyes that were always full of life. Over the past months he had memorized and loved how they glistened whenever she talked about her dreams to travel the world, and how they dulled a bit whenever he talked about leaving for tour. Even the littlest of things about her were etched onto his brain, fluttering around and beaming when he listened to her favourite songs, watched her favourite shows or merely seeing her favourite colour. He didn’t like it, but Brooke had him wrapped around her barely eighteen-year-old finger.

“Um, Brooke...” He swallowed the lump that was forming in his throat, knowing it had to be done. Now or never. Why not never? He shook his head, pushing away thoughts of extending a doomed relationship. “Brooke, we need to stop this.”

At that, she rolled her eyes. John knew why. She had heard it from him two, three, maybe even four times, but neither could leave. She didn’t want to. He wanted to, but couldn’t. And she would never let him do it.

She loved him. She’d had a silly crush on him the moment she realized what a crush was, and it never faded even after her family moved to Texas. Growing up, she prayed for the success of his band, and followed updates about him, never having the courage to say hi or actually come to one of their shows. But after coming back to his hometown, she had somehow reconnected with his family and ultimately, him. She had certainly hoped for it to happen, but never believed it would. Now that it was, how stupid she would be to let either of them throw it away.

“Shut up.” She kissed him on the lips once more, but was surprised when he pushed her away a little too hard and took a step back, looking like a deer caught in the headlights. He muttered a loud fuck, running his hand over his face as he continued with his speech.

“It’s not a healthy relationship. We can’t go out in public as us, we can’t meet the other’s friends, and...fuck. Seven years-”

“Six and a half.”

He looked at her, unsure, but carried on. “Seven years of difference is what’s in between us. In a few months, I’d want to settle down, and you...well, you’d probably want to go to college or tour the world.”

John watched as she frowned, oh how he wanted to wipe that frown away with a kiss but he stopped himself. Dickhead, this is stupid and immature. He was 25 now. He didn’t want to wait until he was 30 to stop messing around.

In all honesty, he wasn’t messing around with her. He believed that what they had was a relationship, though possibly not as healthy as most relationships out there. They never dated in public, never went on trips, always stayed in the safety of his apartment or car, but they didn’t just have sex either. They talked, a lot. They listened to music, watched movies, even read books in each other’s presence. Truthfully, she was different from most girls her age. Sometimes he wondered whether it was his doing, if he had somehow rubbed off on her, or this was just a different generation. But despite the bit of maturity she possessed, a childish nature still shone through, one John could accept.

“Oh come on,” she whined, pouting, showing both stubbornness and immaturity. “I know you’re just scared of getting locked up, but I’m going to be 18 soon- no need to throw that age gap bullshit on me.”

“It’s not bullshit, Brooke,” he insisted. “When I was your age-”

“Stop sounding like a 40-year-old man, you’re ridiculous.”

He rolled his eyes at her, wanting to win this argument once and for all. “This relationship is not good for both of us. Even more so for you. You’re forcing yourself to grow up when you’re around me, and that’s not fair, you know?” She just looked away, crossing her arms against her chest. “And your parents...God...your parents, what would they say-”

“Whatever, John,” she snapped, her eyes blazing in annoyance. “You know I don’t care about any of that. It’s simple, you either want me or you don’t.”

He laughed bitterly, shoving his hands in his pockets. “It’s really not that simple, Brooklyn.”

“It is.” She rolled her eyes, turning on her heels as she walked towards the door. “Call me when you come to your senses, I can’t stand being near you right now.”

“Brooke-”

She slammed the door shut, and John cringed a little at the sound, although he was so used to it. Almost every argument of theirs ended that way. He sighed, plopping down his couch and rubbing his temples. Come to his senses...what a relative term, for her it meant until he wanted to be with her again, and for him it meant putting an end to their “relationship”. Usually he’d debate this in his mind for a few hours, and then end up calling her and asking her to come back but tonight, he was making a change. He wouldn’t cave in, no matter how much he wanted to. He was officially saying goodbye to Brooklyn Shelton and her not legal ass.

Five hours later, he was cursing himself as he dialled her number and begged for her to come back. Because there’s only one thing the human heart is good for: wanting something that’s bad for you.