Girls, Breaking Hearts

Everyone was at Tim’s, half of them in the pool, the other half playing beer pong. The guys noticed how John would check his phone every now and then, pausing their basketball game with the excuse that he needed to pee- but each time he got out of the pool, one of them would spot him walking over to his phone and staring at the screen for a few seconds.

“Jesus, man- what’s with you?” Rex complained, threatening to throw the ball at John as everyone either snickered or whined. “You keep checking your phone, you never used to do that before!”

“That’s because he’s in a relationship now!” Peter teased, and Eric backed him up.

“But he’s not saying who he’s with so we’re thinking it’s either a guy or, or- maybe even one of our friends,” he said, and everyone began to share their ideas about their friend’s relationship.

But John barely listened to his friends' input; he simply lifted one hand and flipped them all off, as he held his phone in his other hand, wondering why his girlfriend hadn’t responded once to his five consecutive text messages, the first one informing her he was over at Tim’s, the next asking where she was, the third asking if she wanted to come over after, and finally, the last two worrying whether she was mad and if so, he was sorry.

Still, he got no reply. He started to feel weird; he’d been waiting for an answer for over almost two hours and to be honest, he was close to freaking out. He’d driven her a block away from the Shelton household before he went to Tim’s, and she hadn’t mentioned a party with her friends or any other plans for the evening, in fact, she told him she was most likely going to stay in. He knew she wasn’t asleep, because a text message alone could wake her up, and she carried her phone with her all the time when they weren’t together, he knew that. So what the fuck was going on?

“Come on, John,” Max called, beckoning him over, “Just tell your- what, girlfriend?- that you’re with us relaxing!”

He sighed, not really listening to them. He didn’t know where she was so he wasn’t exactly relaxed, or any of the sort. He lifted a hand up, signalling for them to wait as he started walking into the house. “Yeah, I’ll be back,” he simply murmured, and the boys erupted into a chorus of groans, which he ignored.

He brought his phone to his ear, getting anxious as each ring passed. When it went to voicemail, he hung up and tried again, unable to contain the uneasy feeling in his gut. He cursed under his breath when once again, it went to voicemail; and so he tried for four more times, cursing each time she didn’t answer.

He cursed once more, before acknowledging the idea that had been playing in his mind all night long, one that would hopefully give him some peace. He scrolled thru his contacts and found his brother’s number. Well, there was no harm in asking, was there?

~

A redhead’s lips were attached to John’s neck but all he could think about was Brooklyn Shelton. How she touched and kissed him, how she laughed and said the most ridiculous things, how she yawned and how her voice sounded when she was trying to hide her drowsiness. He could imagine her eyes gleaming with lust as she undressed him, and it almost got him off.

He held the redhead closer, grabbing her by the waist but those curves weren’t hers. He groaned, wanting to hit himself in the head for developing these feelings for a teenager. He’d tried to stop himself but even after trying to employ all his self-control, he was unable to stop himself from calling her the night after their first conversation, and the night after that, and the following night until it became a whole week of losing sleep over silly and deep conversations.

“I’m sorry.” He pushed the girl off him, taking a step back. “I can’t do this.”

He left the girl open-mouthed but he didn’t care; he hopped onto his car, not caring that he was drunk, he just needed to talk to Brooke. She answered the call after two rings.

“Hey,” she said cheerily.

“You answered!” he drunkenly exclaimed. He was very happy to hear her voice. “I thought you wouldn’t answer!”

“Why would you think that?” She chuckled but he just laughed, and she picked up on his intoxication. “You’re drunk, aren’t you?”

“Yes I have drank tonight but mind you, I am not entirely besotted. You see I can still make proper sentences, I am not slurring my words and I can still drive,” he said proudly.

“Maybe you shouldn’t drive.” She was suddenly worried, her voice laced with panic. “You could get into an accident, and you’re even on the phone with me-”

“Easy baby I’m alright,” he said with a chuckle. “Listen I’m gonna put you on speaker all right? So I can drive safely and all.”

No matter how hard she tried to convince John to stop driving or hang up the phone, he wouldn’t budge, so she was happy when she heard him turn the engine off.

“Are you home?” she asked.

“No.” She could almost picture him smiling his lopsided smile when he said, “I’m about a block away from your house.”

She knew nothing good could come of it. She closed her eyes, trying to tell herself it was stupid of her to hope for something. She loved the conversations they’d had over the last week, digging her own hole even deeper but she was willing to shoulder the consequences. “John,” she warned.

“Can you sneak out?”

“I don’t do booty calls, John.”

He laughed, making shivers run down her spine. “Believe it or not, this isn’t one. I just want to talk to you.”

“And we can’t do it over the phone?” she challenged.

“I want to see you also.”

That did it. In the next second she was grabbing a sweater from her closet and sneaking out of the house, Bailey Shelton-style to go off into the night and meet the guy she had been so quick to develop feelings for.

She got into his car, and he greeted her with a wise, drunken smile. “You came,” he said happily. “You came, you just made me really happy.”

This drunken version of John was adorable but she didn’t need to fall for it. However, she knew that the harder she resisted, the easier she would fall. So she just went with it.

“Shit, you are really beautiful you know that? I am not even trying to hit on you, I am just being honest.”

A blush hit her cheeks and she looked away from him. “John... Don’t do this.”

“Don’t do what?”

She looked at him, furrowing her eyebrows together wondering what this meant to him. Just sex, most likely. “You’ve been giving me mixed signals all week,” she said with a sigh. “I know you’re not that oblivious and-”

“Stop right there.” He held a hand up and continued to smile at her. “I know what I’ve been doing and believe me, I’ve used up all the control I have in me but I can’t stop it.”

“They say lust is hard to control,” she remarked almost neutrally and he rolled his eyes.

“Are you fucking kidding me? This isn’t just lust baby,” he said with a chuckle. Her heart almost jumped out of her chest and she looked at him, directly into his eyes to see what they were filled with. “My feelings for you are not just of lust and it’s kind of ridiculous if you really think hard about it, you know? But you, you have caught my eye and my interest and I think there’s no turning back now.”

His words baffled yet excited her. She squirmed uncomfortably in her seat, focusing her attention on her fingernails. “You’re just saying that because you want to get laid,” she said lightly and he just laughed.

“Honestly I don’t even know why I’m saying this. I bet I’ll regret it in the morning. Why did I drink so much?” He laughed, staring at her as an idea popped into his head. “But you know, sex might not be a bad idea after all-” He climbed to the backseat, grabbing her wrist once he was settled and tugging at her hand. “Come on, come here-”

“John...” She gave him a flustered look, making him stop his movements altogether. She knew he was just drunk, that come the morning he would regret it if they had sex. She didn’t want that.

And he didn’t want to upset her. He wasn’t going to force her to do something she didn’t want to. So after a few moments of silence, he nodded, smiling up at her coyly. “Just come here,” he said in a particularly lower voice. “Come sit by me.”

She stared up at him, testing if he was being cunning but deep down she trusted him not to do something that would initiate a fight. She sighed and climbed onto the backseat with him, situating herself across him. Once she was settled, she looked up at him, at that seemingly amazed smile on his face, and sent him a questioning glance. He shook his head, then looked down at her hands both rested on her lap, and he cupped his over them. She felt as though electricity had jolted up in her when he did that, such a simple gesture but her heartbeat was now faster than ever.

Suddenly he was moving towards her, wrapping his arms around her frame until she was completely engulfed in them, and resting his forehead on her neck, and it wasn’t long before she hugged him back. There was a specific way they fit perfectly together, something neither of them could deny. She felt it in her heart, that this was something else.

Amidst his inability to think straight, he still could form coherent sentences and for that, he was glad. He needed to say something, he needed to let her know how he was feeling, what his heart was telling him to do.

“I’m sorry,” he murmured, and shivers ran down her spine the moment his breath hit her skin, “I can’t stay away.”

It didn’t make her heart beat fast, or her head fly into the sky, or make butterflies erupt in her stomach- when he said that, she felt something peaceful overcome her, like there was this huge relief she wanted to feel in a long time had finally come, like this was meant to happen, meant to be. As if things were now how they truly were supposed to be.

“I’m sorry,” he repeated. “I tried to, I wanted to, but I just...”

“Don’t be sorry,” she interrupted softly, holding on to his nape. He pulled back a little so he could look at her face. It held a gentle, reassuring expression, which was not a reflection of his uncertain, worried one. “I don’t want you to stay away.”

John’s breath got caught in his throat, and erupted the moment he murmured her name. He couldn’t believe what she’d just said. Yes he was drunk at the moment, but he knew that it had nothing to do with how he felt when she said that. But it did give him enough liquid confidence to lean towards her and claim her lips.

When their lips met, there wasn’t an urgency to remove the other’s clothing, or hold the other in intimate parts of the body and end up fucking right then and there. Even with alcohol in his system, John knew that this was a moment he would never want to ruin. His hands travelled across her back, her side, but never tried something notorious, making the moment truly romantic for both of them.

She hoisted herself up, trying to feel him closer, and he gave her just that, until she was there seated on his lap. Their mouths continued to move in sync, until John felt out of breath and regretted it as he pulled away.

“I can’t breathe,” he said as he chuckled. “I can’t breathe, shit, I’m going to die.”

“No you aren’t.” She giggled, bringing a hand to his head and smoothening his hair. “You’re perfectly fine.”

“I’m not, though.” He snickered once again as he kept his hand on her waist, holding her firmly. “That was...”

She didn’t let him finish; the blush was already rising to her cheek and she was quick to say, “Come sleep with me.”

John was taken aback at first, and then he started laughing. “Brooke!” he cried out loud. “We can’t! Shit- you said it, you said it yourself earlier, we are not going to have sex tonight.”

Her face was now redder, and he could see that, but it didn’t stop him from laughing. She hit his chest lightly, of course he would think she meant that. “First of all, I did not specifically say such thing-”

“The look on your face said it-”

“And,” she said loudly, making him smile and shut up, “and, what I meant was, come sleep with me. Literally. You and me in my bed, sleeping.”

He was quiet for a moment, thinking it over before smiling wider. “Cuddle.” He pursed his lips together and looked up at her. “We’re going to cuddle.”

She looked away shyly, confirming his thoughts with a nod. He laughed a little before bringing a hand to her face, turning it to him.

“You’ll sneak me in?” he asked softly, and she nodded once more. “You really want me to sleep with you?” She responded with another nod, and he sighed loudly as if he was forced to agree, but truthfully he wanted it just as much; anything to keep her close. “Alright,” he said. “Come on.”

The walk to and into the house was calm and quiet. They entered through the backdoor, Brook turning to John and putting her finger over her mouth, shushing him every time his feet stomped louder. It wasn’t until they got into her room and she locked the door that he chuckled, finally making a sound. “Shit,” he said. “My pulse was racing the entire time.”

“You pussy.”

He chuckled once more, giving her a sly look before jumping onto her bed and kicking off his boots. He stretched his arms on both sides, leaving no space for her to lie on. She scoffed, pulling her sweatshirt over her head and lying on the very little space John had left for her. He chuckled once more, and moved his body so she could be more comfortable. She smiled, looked up at him, and that’s when she noticed the red marks on his neck.

Her smile faded and she kept quiet because really, could she ask him about it? She didn’t have any authority- though she at least thought John liked her, but then again what if this was just tonight? What if it was just in the night? What if he just liked her because she made him forget about things he should worry about in the morning?

“Hey what’s the matter?” he asked, his tone of worry as he gauged her expression. “Brooke, what’s up?”

She didn’t answer, but kept her eyes on his neck, conveying it to him silently until he understood. His eyes widened a little and he sighed, cursing under his breath.

A minute of silence passed and he cursed again, closing his eyes as she waited for him to explain. “It was from earlier,” he murmured softly. “I was trying to...free myself...from these, these feelings I have for you and I thought I could- I thought I could just, you know.” He sighed once more and finally, pulled himself up. He hovered over her, staring directly into her eyes so she could see he wasn’t lying. “I couldn’t go through with it, I pushed her away and called you. I promise you it was nothing. Brooke, I wouldn’t have come here if my intent is just to get laid.”

She saw the honesty, and it brought her peace. Though she couldn’t shake off the thought of another girl kissing John, she tried to smile up at him. “Go wash up,” she said softly but he didn’t budge. She shoved him on the chest, urging him to leave. “Go wash up, John, go.”

With a sigh, he followed. She heard the water go off in her bathroom, the one she used to share with her sister, and as John washed his face she thought of whether or not she should go through with this. She liked John. She wanted to be with him. But would he still want that in the morning?

When he walked back in, the upper portion of his shirt was drenched. She smiled, musing at how incredibly cute he looked giving her that unsure expression. She beckoned him over and he walked back to the bed, sitting down as she sat up.

She pulled his shirt over his head and silently threw it on the ground, pulling him along as she laid back down.

“Brooke,” he murmured softly as his head hit the pillow, “please don’t be mad.”

“I’m not.” She shrugged. “I don’t have the right to be.”

“You do, though,” he said. “It’s you I want to be with.”

The admission was enough to free her from all the uncertainty she had felt earlier, hearing those words leave John’s mouth was all she ever wanted. But if she was going through with this, she needed to hear it when he was sober.

“Do me a favour.” She looked up at him, her eyes begging for something he wanted to give. “Tell me that in the morning.”

He nodded vigorously at her, his eyes reflecting nothing but sincerity. “I will.”

~

Truthfully, John was hoping Shane wouldn’t answer; at least it would mean he was at some party with Brooklyn, and she was safe. But when he heard Shane’s voice from the other line, his breathing went rapid.

“Uh, what’s up?” Shane asked, weirded out that his brother was calling him at 9 in the evening. They weren’t close, and he couldn’t think of one single thing John needed from him at this hour.

“Nothing- you home?” the oldest asked, but he already knew the answer. The possibility that Shane was out and answering an unexpected phone call was close to none.

“Yeah,” Shane answered, his eyebrows raising as each second passed. “What’s up?”

“Nothing, I just-” John took a deep breath, wondering what excuse he could use that wouldn’t arise suspicion in Shane. “I, uh, was... nothing, I... um, I was, uh- driving by this house, and a bunch of kids were partying- and, uh, just- it looked like the cops were gonna crash any second, and I just wanted to warn you about it- like, if you were there, like if those were your friends or something-”

The sound of raucous laughter coming from the other line made John stop speaking. He frowned, waiting for his youngest brother to stop.

“Dude!” Shane exclaimed, obviously amused at the idea of his brother caring about him and his friends. “Dude, that’s so cute- you really care whether we get busted or not?”

“Obviously,” John spat, annoyed at how Shane was taking it. “Whatever, are you sure you’re home?”

“Yeah, yeah.” Shane’s smirk was wide, as he thought of how he could tease his brother more. At least now he could get back at John for stealing his weed three months ago. “Why so tense, dude?”

“Stop calling me ‘dude’,” John scoffed, raking his fingers through his hair. “Whatever, bye.”

He didn’t give Shane a chance to respond; he quickly ended the call, wondering where the fuck was his girlfriend at?