Girls, Breaking Hearts

Behave, John always wrote and said to his fans who were significantly younger than him, but in no way was he or his minor girlfriend behaving properly right now as she bobbed her head up and down his crotch area and he held on to her hair, moaning in pleasure as she gave him that.

They were in the woods, and Brooke decided it was time to give John a late birthday present, one that he would hopefully appreciate. And by the sounds he was making, it seemed she was doing a good job- no pun intended.

“Fuuuuck- baby...”

The only thing running through John’s head while his girlfriend gave him head was the faceless guy he needed to find, thank, then kill. Whoever had corrupted the innocence of Brooklyn Shelton was lucky that he was her first, and John wanted to kill him. He bucked his hips forward, causing her to almost choke but she recovered quickly from the sudden impact.

“Fuck Brooke I- fuuuuuuck”

He unloaded on her, not really knowing whether she was okay with it or not but there was no turning back now. He moaned softly as she slowly backed off and he released his grip on her hair.

“Baby... that was-”

“Worth the wait, I hope.” She cut him off with a laugh, wiping her mouth as she averted his gaze. It was the first time she had given something like that, but she knew John had received his fair share and she could only hope she didn’t disappoint. Once again she felt that wall between them, her insecurities bubbling up to the surface as she thought of John moaning another girl’s name who probably gave him more than she could, then she quickly pushed it onto the back of her mind as John wrapped her in his arms and pulled her to his chest.

“I don’t even want to know how you learned to do that,” he whispered with a sigh, causing shivers to run down her spine- a reaction that occurred every time John spoke in that raspy voice. “It’s official, I don’t need any other girl.”

She knew he was teasing, but nevertheless elbowed him as she laughed. “It takes me doing that for you to realize I’m all you need?” She couldn’t bring herself to say that word once she’d done it. She and her friends had always joked about it, and she’d talked about it with John as well but now that she had given one, she seemingly couldn’t pronounce it. She felt weird, realizing that this, how she felt or what she thought, just re-established how young she truly was.

There was peaceful silence as John held her tightly in his arms, sighing contently once in a while whereas she tried to focus on the fact that her boyfriend seemed content. When he started planting kisses on her neck, she closed her eyes and arched her head to the left to give him more access, easily getting lost in his soft kisses but still couldn’t shake off the feeling of insecurity.

“It was my first,” she admitted nervously, thinking that saying it out loud would do the trick, relieve her of the uneasiness she felt.

He abruptly stopped but didn’t move his lips. “What?” he asked, figuring he’d heard her wrong.

For some reason she felt immediately ashamed then. She looked to her left and bit her lip. “Nothing.”

“No, let’s talk about it Brooke. That was your first?”

“John this is very uncomfortable-”

She tried to cover her face with her hands and move away from John, but he held her close and spoke very softly, “I’m your boyfriend, and you should be comfortable telling me things. Baby, it was your first?”

“I don’t see why it’s relevant- it just slipped out because I... I don’t even know. You know you’re my first everything, it’s only obvious that it’s my first.”

“And by first everything, you mean first serious boyfriend?”

Now John’s tone was curious and confused, and Brooke couldn’t really tell why. Although she had never verbally disclosed that she was a virgin until the night of her birthday, she felt like John already had a clue even though the first few times they’d done it, she was never wary of whether he actually enjoyed it or not. She had only asked one time: “Was I... Am I okay? I’m sorry I’m so loud...”, which basically made John reassure her and she’d never asked since.

“John, you do know you’re my first, right? Like before our first night, I had- I had never done it with anyone... you do know that... right?”

To say that John was shocked would be an understatement. His mouth was slightly parted as he stared dumbly at her. “So basically you’re saying that I corrupted you?”

The word made Brooke freeze for a moment, and then laugh nervously. “No you did not corrupt me, we had sex John- I threw myself at you.”

“Fuck.” John wiped the side of his face as he let out a shaky sigh. “Brooke, you were a v...”

“Virgin, you can say it.”

“Fuck, why were you so good?!”

Brooke hated the fact that John was so frustrated as of the moment, fearing that any second now he would start saying he couldn’t do it anymore, so she immediately scooted closer to him and began running her hands up and down his arms- a gesture John loved but right now despised. He flinched and moved away from her, leaving her both confused and annoyed.

“John I don’t understand, why are you mad at me?!” She tried hard not to sound whiny and immature but her voice went up at least two decibels and she hated it, why was it so hard to control a feeling?

“I'm not mad, but God you were drunk, Brooke- you were plastered and I let you... fuck.”

“It was liquid confidence, I had to-”

“Your first time was supposed to be special- you’re a great girl Brooke, it wasn’t supposed to be like that, a drunken encounter!”

“It was special,” she insisted, once more shifting towards him. “It was special John, I told you it was the best birthday.” She wrapped her arms around him, cursing herself in her head. This trip was supposed to be romantic, but now it was going sour and it was all her fault. She didn’t need him questioning what they had once again. He had just gotten back from tour and she’d missed him, and she didn’t want to fight or have any other disagreements even for just a while.

“I basically ruined your life-”

“Shut up, I’m happy.” She planted a kiss on his chest, aiming to calm him down and sure enough, it helped. He let out a deep breath as she moved to his face and kissed him on the lips. “I’ve never been as happy as I am when I’m with you and I don’t even care how gay that sounds.”

Finally this made him chuckle. She pulled back and he gave her a long stare, which she returned with a little smile on her face. Sighing, he leaned down and consumed her mouth in a long kiss, all the while thinking was she really happy?

~

Brooklyn Shelton didn’t have daddy issues. She and her parents got along fine, although there were times she drove them crazy and vice versa, but they had never been the extensively strict kind when it came to her, for one reason: Bailey, her sister who was five years her senior.

Bailey was known as Spitfire Shelton, always getting into trouble, making rash decisions and even getting arrested once- the straw that made her family pack up and move to Texas. Though she was good to Brooke, she spent most of her time sneaking out with her boyfriends that their parents trusted John more to babysit Brooke instead of Bailey, who was supposed to be doing the job.

Her sister was all kinds of crazy, and their parents blamed themselves for that since they were extremely strict on her. So, they changed and tried to be looser with Brooke, and she was glorified because she was very unlike her sister and often went home with good news instead of bad. And they never had to tell her not to mirror Bailey’s behaviour- at her young age, Brooke was already able to tell that the way her sister was acting was wrong and she felt like it was her duty to make up for her sister’s shortcomings.

Still, no child could be perfect. Brooke got into the habit of drinking, and since then stricter rules were imposed. She had received the talk when she turned sixteen, over the phone- given by Bailey who was in New York then. She still remembered that day clearly, as it was about a week before they’d moved back to Arizona. She was packing her things when her mother came into her room and told her Bailey had something to say.

“Now remember,” Bailey’s voice was laced with all kinds of seriousness, something that as a kid, she never thought her sister possessed, “you will meet a boy who will make you feel like you’re the most beautiful thing he had ever laid eyes on, and sooner or later the sweet talks and kisses won’t be enough and he’ll expect something more, but don’t you ever succumb to the pressure that all your friends are doing it, that’s it no big deal. I’m not gonna tell you to practice abstinence, just this... Make sure he’s worth it.”

She was sure John was worth it. Liking older men wasn’t a fetish she had, it just so happened that she’d liked John ever since she was a kid and he was an older guy. Her parents liked him and his family, and they trusted her enough to let her go on sleepovers, but she knew that if they found out she was in a relationship with John, they’d flip. The Sheltons and even John’s parents had hinted on a Brooke-Shane thing before, in fact she was pretty sure that their parents had already discussed a possible wedding between her and the youngest O’Callaghan, but her heart was set on the oldest. And by the looks of it, Shane wasn’t interested either. They were close, close enough for him to tell her about the girls he liked. But they weren’t best friends, she had her sister for that. Since Bailey got her shit together they’d become closer, but even though she felt like her sister wouldn’t judge her for dating the oldest O’Callaghan brother, she still could not bring herself to confide in Bailey.

Brooke recalled that one night sixteen-year-old Bailey had sneaked into her room, smelling of booze and cigarettes, telling her younger and sleepy sister that she was in-love. “There are butterflies in my stomach, Brooklyn. I’m in-love.” A week after that, the exact same thing happened, Bailey reeking of alcohol and some other substance but this time she was crying as she told Brooklyn, who couldn’t comprehend her, “Never trust the butterflies.”

It wasn’t like that with John. Sure, the butterflies made their appearance from time to time, but mostly there was the lightheaded-ness, the tingly sensation, the blush, the jaw hurting from all the smiling, the giggles, and the assurance: the assurance that his feelings were real and they were for her, only for her.

A smile grazed her lips as she grabbed her phone and decided it was time to call her sister.