I'd Go Through Hell and Back for You

Have you ever had such vivid dreams that when you wake up it is difficult to tell if it were just a dream or if it were real? Well I’ve had the same dream every single night for the past two weeks and each time I wake up in a cold sweat and my heart feels like it is about to beat out of my chest. In my dream I am in the back room of the church, in my wedding dress, waiting for my dad to come in and tell me that it is time for him to walk me down the aisle but he never does. Instead there is a knock at the door and Selena walks in and she seems nervous. When I ask her what is wrong, she tells me that no one can find Alex. My world shatters around me because I am being stood up at the alter. No, it is worse than that. Being at the altar and being told by the person you are madly in love with that they can’t marry you is far worse and far more humiliating than the person just not showing up. At least then you can just sneak out and go far away and pretend nothing happened and close the world out.

Well here I am in the very room from my dream. It is my wedding day and I am in my gorgeous dress and I’m waiting for my dad to come get me. I should be excited about this, but I can’t ignore that gnawing feeling in the pit of my stomach that my dream wasn’t just a dream and I’ve been living some freakish deja vu moment for the past two weeks. I’m praying that I am just being overly paranoid but I can just feel that something is horribly wrong. My heart starts to race when Selena walks in a few moments later with the same nervous look on her face that she had in my dream. “I swear if the next words to come out of your mouth are no one can find Alex I will murder you.” my voice is shaky with worry as I point my finger at her.

Selena takes a deep breath and is looking everywhere but me which proves my suspicions. This is not happening. Any minute I am going to wake up and this would have been just a horribly nightmare once again. I have to be dreaming. “I’m so sorry, Demz. The wedding was supposed to start fifteen minutes ago and Alex isn’t here. He isn’t picking up his phone.” she apologizes.

I start to laugh, not because I find any of this amusing, but because I am in shock. I don’t believe that this is happening and I have no idea what else to do. I just keep laughing as the tears flow out of my eyes and down my cheeks. I can just hear Dallas scolding me for ruining my make up which makes me laugh even more. If this were anything like my dream then Brian should be coming in any second now. Five...four...three...two...one. “Alex still isn’t picking up.” Brian says as he enters the room. He stops dead in his tracks when he hears me laughing and gives me a confused look. “Is she okay?” he turns his attention to Selena.

She just shrugs, “I’m not entirely sure. I think she’s delirious.”

“I’m not delirious.” I laugh, “I just have been dreaming this exact thing for the past two weeks and I have been worried all morning that it would come true and look here, it has.”

“What exactly happened in your dream?” Selena asks curiously.

“I’m in here waiting for my dad, then you come in and tell me that no one can get a hold of Alex. I start to freak out when Brian comes in and says Alex still isn’t answering his phone when I start to panic even more. I wake up before I find out anything else.”

“Whoa.” Selena breathed out. “That’s freaky. But it just has to be coincidence, right?”

“Wait,” I shook my head and held up my hands, “how the hell are you here Brian and Alex isn’t? He did stay at your and Selena’s apartment last night right?”

Brian scratched the back of his neck which made me nervous. Alex did stay with him last night right? He wouldn’t lie, right? I shake the thoughts out of my head because I know in my heart that Alex would never hurt me like this, something has to be wrong. “Brian.” Selena said sternly.

“Okay, he did stay last night and we had some friends over along with his dad and his brothers. But when we were getting ready to come over to the church he said he had to do something, a surprise for you. I didn’t question him, I just told him to make sure to be at the altar by three.” he explained.

“Then where the hell is he?” I cried. I sat down on the couch and cried into my hands. Selena came over and sat next to me, putting her arm around my shoulder.

There was a knock at the door, I looked up quickly hoping that it was Alex or someone saying that he is finally here. Dallas and my mom walked in but they still look upset so I know that Alex still isn’t here. “The, um, guests are getting restless. What do you want us to say?” Dallas asked nervously.

I was too distraught to answer, I just started to cry on Selena’s shoulder. “Tell everyone that there was an emergency and the wedding will be postponed. Under my dead body will it be cancelled, so make sure that everyone knows it’s not.” Selena instructed.

I could tell that my mom wanted to say something to me but didn’t really know what to say. Her and Dallas just left the room. “Okay, Demi you are going to get changed into the sweats you came here in and we are going to find Alex if it’s the last thing I do.”

As I stood up to chance there was another knock on the door. Brian opened it and let Alex’s younger sister, Mackenzie, in. Once again i was nervous, did he send her here to break the bad news? Or did her or their mom get a call that he’s been hurt? I fought back the lump in my throat. “Your sister said there was some sort of emergency? Does that mean you’ve heard from my brother?” she asks nervously.

I shook my head because I honestly couldn’t say anything. I know if I talk then I’m never going to stop crying. Mackenzie looked up at the ceiling like she was fighting back her own tears. She obviously can’t get ahold of Alex either. That fact made me nervous. He will always pick up for her, no matter how mad he is or how busy he is, he would never not answer her or his brother’s phone calls. He is extremely close to his siblings which I admired since I love my sisters more than anything.

Mackenzie took a step closer to me, “Look, I know we’re not that close and haven’t spent that much time together since you and Alex got engaged, but you’re about to become my sister and I don’t like seeing you so broken.” she looked down sadly then back up at me. “I have no idea where my brother is but I know something has to be terribly wrong for him to not be here. He’s waiting for this day since he proposed to you. I’ve never seen him so happy other than when he is on stage. Ever since I was little he’s always said I was his number one girl and where that is still true, you are his world. He loves you so much and nothing would keep him from being here today.”

I walked up to her and hugged her tightly. I’m not sure why I did that, but I just needed a hug and her words made me feel a little bit better. “I need to get out of this dress and find Alex. He told me that the only way he wouldn’t be here today is if he is dead or dying. I have this aching feeling in my heart that something has happened to him.”

“I’ll call all the local hospitals and see if he’s at any of them.” Brian said taking out his phone and immediately started dialing numbers.

Selena came up to me and rubbed my back. “We’ll find him.” she promised, I just hope that she can keep that promise.

I went into the bathroom and changed into a pair of sweats and shirt that I wore over here. When I walked out of the bathroom Selena, Brian and Mackenzie all had solemn looks on their faces. My heart sunk, I was waiting for one of them to say that Alex is either dead or is badly injured. Instead Selena said, “he not at any of the hospitals close by. I’m so sorry, Demi.”

“No.” I shook my head as I fell to my knees. My whole body is shaking from crying. This is not happening. I know I keep saying that but I just can’t wrap my brain around all of this mess. This is supposed to be the happiest day of my life, not one of the most heart breaking. This is all too much for me to handle right now, all my subconscious wants to do is for me to harm myself. I know I can’t and I won’t but I’m itching with the desire. “Where else can he be?”

“Brian said that Alex had to pick up your surprise, but if that were the case he would have been at your mom’s house and he never showed up there. So something happened between my apartment and your mom’s house.” Selena thought out loud. I’m not sure how she knows this. She must have sensed my confusion so she elaborated. “Oh sorry, um, he came to me a couple months ago asking me to help him with a wedding present for you. I couldn’t keep it at my apartment since you’re there almost all the time. I didn’t know where else to keep it. Dallas said she knew where to hide it, I didn’t think your mom’s would be a good idea but she said it would be fine.”

“If he never showed up there and isn’t here and isn’t in any hospital then where the hell is my brother?” Mackenzie asked agitated. I feel her pain because I would love to know the same exact thing.

Brian seemed to be deep in thought. Selena tried to get his attention but he didn’t budge. Not for a few moments that is. All the sudden his eyes grew wide and the color drained from his face. “Holy fuck. I think I know what happened.”