I'd Go Through Hell and Back for You

Ever know what it is like to feel like you’re being followed? For the past week or so I’ve been having to keep looking over my shoulder because I have this eerie feeling that someone is following me. I never see anyone but I can’t help but have that feeling. Maybe I am going crazy or not getting enough sleep from having to tour, make wedding plans and doing X-Factor. I should probably pace myself or cut down on my workload, but right now is not the time. I had my last concert last week and I’m taking a week off of X-Factor to get married and have a honeymoon. Once I get married then things will calm down and I won’t be so stressed out and being paranoid.

I was on my way to see Selena but ended up going to see Dallas. When I got to her place, well my parent’s place I went inside and fell on to the couch as I yelled for her. “Hey girl, what’s up?” she asked as she came out of her room and into the living room.

“I think someone is following me.” I said bluntly.

“What do you mean someone is following you?” she raised her eyebrow.

“I just have a feeling, I just can’t shake it.” I laid down on the couch with a sigh. “It’s like in those horror movies when the dumb girl keeps looking over her shoulder because she thinks she hears or feels someone following her? That has been me for the past week and it’s starting to freak me out.”

“Have you seen anyone following you?” Dallas’ voice was filled with concern and fear.

“No.” I shook my head. “But that doesn’t mean that someone isn’t. What if it’s Debby again? I’ve told everyone that it was way too easy to get her to back the hell off on New Years last year. She wanted Alex and was determined to get me out of the picture. It’s weeks before my wedding, maybe she is panicking and trying to get him back before he’s officially off the market.”

I know I probably sound like a crazy person to my sister, but this has been my fear since that New Years night. Yes she was caught and Alex chose me and Selena got Brian back, but that doesn’t mean that her feelings for Alex just vanished in that moment. If I’ve learned anything over these past couple of years is that feelings don’t just go away. When you love someone so much that it hurts, that love stays with you forever no matter how much you try to get rid of them. I tried for a long time to get over Alex and the further I tried to push those feelings aside the stronger they got. And I don’t blame Debby for falling for Alex and wanting to keep him because he is one in a million. It is difficult to find a guy in this world that is decent and isn’t shady. Guys just want sex and don’t care about a girl’s feelings. But Alex is a caring person. He’s one of the rare artist out there that cares more about his fans than himself. He would literally do anything for his fans. He proved that when he cut off his beautiful hair just so his fan who had cancer could have hair. He can light up a room but just being in it. So yes it scares me to death that I will lose him.

“Honey, Debby has a boyfriend and from what I heard she really loves this guy. I don’t think it’s her if anyone thats following you.” Dallas tried to comfort me but I wasn’t convinced. She sighed when she realized that I didn’t believe her. “Have you told Alex about this?”

“No, he hasn’t exactly been around much.” I shrugged.

“What do you mean? You two are practically joined at the hip.” she looked at me confused. She was right about that, but we haven’t been that way lately. No one really has noticed because we make people believe that we’re together every second that we’re both home.

“He’s been spending a lot of time with his friend, Sara. She’s a Victoria Secret model and incredibly gorgeous.” I said in disgust. I know I shouldn’t say it that way because I don’t even know the girl but I just really don’t like her.

“Someone sounds jealous.” Dallas smirked. I’ve never been the jealous type so this amuses my lovely sister.

I rolled my eyes. “You would be too if Rob was friends with some hot super model who he praises all the fucking time.”

“That’s just how Alex is though.” she stated a bit confused. “He praises all of his friends and you all the time. You have nothing to be insecure about, that guy worships the ground you walk on.”

“But I am insecure.” I stressed. “I’m never going to be model status. I have a huge ass and I have thighs. I’m never going to be that skinny again. Nor do I want to be. I am healthy and happy and I would never do anything to hurt my recovery.”

“Nor should you have to. Alex doesn’t want a model, he just wants you.” Dallas reassured me as she pulled me into a hug.

I sighed, “it still stings though. Him and Brian used to talk about models and how hot they are all the time. Selena looks like a model so Brian got his wish but that’s just not who I am.”

“Selena may be a tiny girl, but don’t for a second think that she doesn’t know what you’re going through. You should talk to her about how you’re feeling. She may not have had gone through what you did with your eating disorder, but I know for a fact the girl has had body issues. Yeah it’s the exact opposite of you but none the less she went through it. People always said she was too skinny. Hell at one point there were rumors that she was anorexic. And we both know how much that girl loves her food. It’s not her fault that she has a killer metabolism. Just like it’s not your fault that you were give a great ass.” Dallas said sternly. She always knew the right things to say to make me feel better.

“You’re the best big sister ever.” I hugged her tightly. I’m so grateful for her.

“Something tells me that Sara or whomever is following you is the problem here. There’s something else that is bothering you.” and there goes my very intuitive sister who always knows when I’m avoiding something.

I groaned and hid my face in a pillow. “yes.” I whined. Dallas took the pillow away from me and gave me a questionable look. “I think I’m having cold feet.”

“About getting married?” she gasped in shock. “Why?”

“For one I am not wife material. I can’t cook to save my life. Two, I’ve never lived with a boy and I really like my personal space and now it’s going to be invaded. Lastly, I’m only twenty two, I’m too young for this.” I started to cry.

“Demetria Devonne Lovato, you listen to me right now. You and Alex are made for each other. You’ve fought for each other and for true love and you guys won. You are wise beyond your years. You’ve been through hell and back, way more than any twenty two year old ever should have to go through. But you went through it and you just grew that much more stronger. As for living with him, you both will find a way to put up with each other. People do this all the time.”

I’m now full blow crying, my make up is probably ruined but I really don’t care. “But we’re so different. I’m a messy person and he’s a clean freak. He likes to party and I really don’t.”

“Let me stop you right there, Alex has never once pressured you into drinking. He knows all about your dark past and he would never jeopardize your recovery. You two have been together for over a year and it’s never been a problem before so don’t use that excuse. As for your opposite housekeeping skills, so fucking what? He’s slept over at your place several times and has never left you or judged you. Now he might tell you to clean up your shit, but trust me that will never be a problem.” she pushed my hair behind my ear and smiled at me. “Don’t be scared to marry him, you love him and he loves you, that’s all that matters. The rest will just fall into place.”

I wiped the tears off of my face. “Thanks for the pep talk, I really needed it.”

“Anytime.” she smiled.

My phone beeped in my purse. When I took it out, it was a text from Brian saying that Selena was sick and wasn’t going to meet me. I thought it was strange because I talked to her last night and she seemed fine. Wait, what is Brian doing home anyways? He’s not due home until late tonight which is why we decided to meet for lunch. I guess they are doing their, uh, catching up now. But the uneasy feeling in my stomach doesn’t go away. Something is wrong, I can feel it. I shake the thoughts and decide to just let it go since I’ll be seeing her tomorrow night at Brian’s concert.

“I guess lunch with Selena is off. I should see what Alex is doing and talk to him.” I sighed.

“You should do that. But for now, I need to talk to you about the final details of your bachelorette party so me and Selena can finalize the details.” she looked at me excitedly. She’s been waiting for this day since I got engaged.

“Nothing too crazy please.” I whined.

“I promise it won’t be. I just need your final list of people you want to come. Selena is renting a private jet to take us to Texas for a whole weekend. It’ll just be us and whoever you want there. It’ll be a big Texan party. Fatty foods, country music, bad karaoke, it’ll be fun. Plus half the people you’re friends with are either from Texas or the south so everyone will have a blast.” she explained to me. I know Dallas and Selena can throw an epic party so I have nothing to worry about.

“Okay, I’ll email you the final list. Just once again please no strippers and any of that crap.” I warned.

“Scouts honor.” she put up three fingers. We both laughed and I threw a pillow at her.

As I was leaving the house I called Alex and told him to meet me at my apartment. I wasn’t sure if I was going to tell him about my paranoia or not. But what I did need right now is to just be in the comfort of his arms. Once I’m cuddled up with him all my worries will just fade away. I know that he is the only guy for me, I’m just being weird. I’m over worked and stressed, once the wedding is here then all of this madness will go away and I won’t feel like I’m crawling out of my skin any longer. Life is good and I can’t wait to be Demi DeLeon.