Happy

[009]

"I feel like this is becoming a thing."

Alex grinned charmingly up at Zooey as he settled down on the bar stool, forearms leaning on the countertop; long fingers wrapped around the glass bottle of beer that another bartender had handed to him.

Zooey laughed lightly. "It probably became a thing the second night you came in here." She shrugged a shoulder, going to stand in front of him. "Hello."

"Hi."

She laughed. "So... What's up?"

He shrugged his shoulders this time. "Nothing much. What's up with you?"

"I'm working."

"Yeah, me too." He nodded before he blinked, frowning as he shook his head. "Wait no, I'm not working. I'm, uh, breathing. And drinking. Life's good."

She chuckled. "I would think so, yeah. How's Essex been treating ya?"

"S'all good. I missed being here, but I kinda miss home, y'know?"

She hummed in acknowledgement, eyes glancing around to make sure that no one else was wanting to get a drink or something, before letting her full attention fall back on the man before her. "Yeah, I guess so. When are you planning on heading back, anyway?"

Alex pursed his lips, shrugging a shoulder again as he took a swig from his beer bottle. "To tell you the truth... I only planned on staying for a couple of weeks. But it's already been over a week and I kind of don't want to leave." He admitted.

"How come?" Zooey smiled curiously.

"I dunno," he mumbled. "I like it here."

"You just don't want to go home and face Lisa, right?" She smirked, making both of his thick eyebrows raise high on his forehead. "Your face says it all, mate."

"Screw you." He snorted, taking another gulp from his alcoholic beverage as she laughed.

Zooey raised her hands up in a surrendering position. "I'm only telling it like it is."

"Well, screw you for being right." He snorted again, though this time he admitted to not wanting to go home because of one person.

She had tried to call him a few days back, but he had let it go straight to voicemail. It wasn't intentionally – though he would've probably not picked it up if he heard it ring – for he was in good form that night, and he was sure that his phone had been set to silent. Drunk Alex liked to go onto Twitter and drunkenly type out tweets, as well as message the first person that popped into his mind.

While drunk, though, as long as he didn't hear his phone make any noise, he would probably forget that he even had a phone. Alex was odd like that.

After he hadn't picked up the first time, she didn't call again, and he was hoping that it would stay that way. Truth be told, he hadn't even called Tay up yet, because he didn't know what he was supposed to say. He figured since: hey, she hadn't tried to contact him, so maybe hopefully, she'd forgotten about the idea of her and Alex ever properly getting together.

He blew out a breath between his lips – making that weird sound as his upper and bottom lip vibrated against each other. Alex drank the last few drops of liquid from his glass bottle, sighing as he stood up, pulling out a couple of bills from his front pocket then using the bottle as a paperweight.

"Keep the change." He smiled over at Zooey.

She looked confused at his sudden depart – after only one drink, too! But nonetheless, she nodded, giving him a one-armed hug over the bar. "See you when I see you?"

"See you when I see you." He echoed, smiling, before he turned on his heel; walking out of the place that he was already so familiar with.

He didn't even know why his mood suddenly deflated. He reckoned it was just the thought of the two women he practically fled the country for, knowing that he'd eventually have to come home and – knowing him – getting together with either one of them within a month or so. He wanted to lie and say that he couldn't ever see himself settling down, but he couldn't. Because when it all came down to it, Alex was, and always would be, a relationship kind of guy.

True; one-night-stands were his preference ever since he'd stepped foot into Essex, but he hadn't been sleeping around as much as he thought he would, to be honest. He didn't know what to think but he knew that a certain flame-haired young lady had something to with it.

She became his friend, and for that he was grateful.

What he didn't like was how he was starting to... feel things for her. Things that a friend shouldn't feel towards a friend. Lately he'd find himself sat in his home with Chinese takeout for lunch, wondering if Zooey would be working that night, and that if he should go for a beer or two just to see her. He wouldn't go so far as to say that he had a crush on her – wow he was starting to sound like a teenage girl – but he knew that there was something there. It wasn't something necessarily big, but there was something.

Alex found himself wanting to just up and grab her into a full, proper snog, just to see what it'd be like. Just because.

He didn't even know why.

Don't get him wrong though, for he thought and knew that she was gorgeous, oh most definitely. She had the physical appearance – body and all – of a bloody model, he'd tried to have sex with her the first night he met her, so he would definitely sleep with her, that much he knew. She was smart. She was kind, compassionate, funny, and she could do those cool trick things that some bartenders at the clubs could.

But he just never pictured himself with her. Maybe it was because he'd been so caught up with the other two that he hadn't taken the time to realise what a wonderful woman Zooey Parker really was/is.

Alex pushed open the front door to his temporary home with a small sigh. His dog greeted him happily; tail wagging madly and a few barks thrown in here and there, just to get Alex's attention.

Alex grinned, cooing at his dog as he scratched the little animal's head and ear, making him only wag his tail harder.

The owner flopped down onto the couch, the pet jumping up not long after, curling up into a little ball by his side, nuzzling his nose in Alex's side. Alex pulled out his phone, going to his contacts and ceasing his thumb's movements as he reached on the name that he was searching for.

"Hello?"

"Hey Jack." Alex smiled.

"Alex!" The other man greeted happily. "What's up, man? I thought you died." He joked, making the elder chuckle.

"Nah, I'm alive. But... What if I really did die though?" He asked thoughtfully, frowning slightly.

Alex could tell that Jack shrugged from the soft sounds of cloth moving over the phone. "I'd probably think someone was pulling a prank on me."

"But would you plan my funeral?"

"If you wanted me to. I'd even make sure you were placed facing the ground in your coffin – so that people can kiss your ass." Jack's smugness radiated through the phone from his rather clever and funny line, making Alex burst out into uncontrollable laughter.

"Oh man." He eventually sighed, catching his breath. "That's good. You do that for me, alright?"

"It's a promise." Jack assured him, making him laugh lightly. "So what's up? How's England treating you? Have you had tea with the Queen? With crumpets and biscuits? Quick question: do English girls moan with an accent and if they do – can you demonstrate it for me? And God bless the Queen!"

Alex laughed again, shaking his head. "Damn I've missed you." He sighed.

"Missed you too, bro." Jack laughed. "No but seriously, how's Essex? You doing okay?"

"I'm –" He paused before nodding. "Good. I'm good."

"I heard about you and Lisa." The younger said. "And Tay, but that's a whole different thing." He added as an afterthought.

"Has she been talking shit about me or something?"

"Which she?"

Alex shrugged. "Both she's."

"Tay called me up the day you left. Said something about her call not being able to go through, so I made up some bullshit excuse about your phone not working 'cause you're spending time with your family." Jack explained, making Alex breathe out a sigh of relief at how his best friend hadn't told her about how he'd gone to Essex. "And Lisa... Well, after you broke up with her, she came to my house, saying you're a massive dick, bla bla bla, and then she just started crying and saying that she just wanted to see you and make things right."

"Ew."

"Yeah, ew." Jack laughed.

Alex grinned, patting his dog's fur. "I don't mean 'ew' in a 'I'm disgusted by you' type of way. I meant it in a – "

"– 'I don't want to get back together with you so please move on' kind of way." Jack finished, making Alex hum in agreement. "I know. It's all cool, bro. I've got your back. I told her you weren't at home, but you were avoiding her for a reason and that she should just come to terms with said reason."

"And what'd she do after that...?"

Jack made a small noise crossing behind a high-pitched whine and a mumble. "She glared at me and then she stormed out of the house."

"She hung up on me, if that makes you feel any better." Alex offered, chuckling.

"Yeah, well, you actually broke up with her. And I'm pretty sure you said something harsh –"

"Did not!"

"– so you deserved the hanging up on. I didn't do shit to her." Jack finished his sentence as though Alex hadn't interrupted him at all. "What'd you tell her, though? Out of curiosity."

Alex shrugged. "The truth."

"Which is?" Jack prompted. "That your relationship was going nowhere? That you live your lives like you're ready to die? And that you were going nowhere? And you could tell it from the look in your eyes – ?"

Alex snorted. "Is that all you've been doing? Learning Bring Me The Horizon lyrics?"

"It's a good song!" Jack defended himself, laughing lightly. "After all... You can run, but you'll never escape."

"Stop," Alex laughed.

"Over and over again?"

"Will I ever see the end?"

"Nope, 'cause THIS. IS. SEMPITERNAL!"

"Jack!" Alex laughed loudly, shaking his head to himself as his free hand mindlessly scratched his dog's ears.

Jack snickered. "Fine, fine. So... When are you planning on coming back?"

Alex hummed in an 'I don't know' fashion. "I reckon in about a week or so. I miss home. It's good being back but it's not really home home, if you know what I mean."

"Yeah, I know." He murmured in understanding. "Made any friends?"

"One."

Jack snorted. "Wow you're sociable."

The elder gentlemen laughed. "Fuck you. Truth is... I've been drinking a lot and having sex with random women. Haven't really thought about making friends. The whole Lisa and Tay thing is fucking me up." He sighed.

"Why?" Jack asked, and Alex hummed in confusion. "Why is it fucking with you so bad? I don't get it. You've been with Lisa since high school, and you've broken up plenty of times before. Why the sudden existential crisis – if you will."

"I – " he sighed, cutting himself off tiredly. "I don't know how to explain it. It's like, I'm finally realising that I'm in a relationship where I'm not happy, at all, and that I kind of forgot how to... How to love someone in the way that – I don't know – the way that I should love Lisa, I guess. I'm just so afraid that one day, I'm going to get married to someone I don't even love, and we'll probably have kids who I'll never be able to love because I never loved their mother in the first place. Love. Such a strong word. I used to know what it means but now... Now I'm not so sure."

The younger man was silent on the other end of the line for a while, as though trying to absorb whatever Alex had just told him. Perhaps he didn't understand what Alex was trying to say – and Alex wouldn't really blame the younger. It was rather confusing – even to himself. He could express his feelings, thoughts, emotions and such through pen and paper well; be it through song or just something he scratched up over the night. But when faced with having to showcase emotion and explain exactly how he was feeling in the current moment – he couldn't do it.

"You know what?" Alex spoke up, clearing his throat. "Forget I said anything."

"'Lex – "

"No, seriously – forget it. I'm probably still a bit drunk." Alex joked weakly.

"Yeah..." Jack sighed softly on the other end of the line, making him breathe out a silent sigh of relief; knowing that his best mate understood that he didn't want to dwell on what he'd just said.

"So... What's new in good ol' B'more?"