Blood, Sweat & Ink

"Hi, my name is Mystical Mike and I am going to send you back to the kitchen where you belong," greeted the lanky brunette hipster who held out his hand in front of her.

Lydia cocked an eyebrow as she shook his hand. Huh. The show hadn't started yet and already some of the contestants were starting with the trash talk.

"So, Mystical Mike, how long have you been tattooing?" Lydia asked politely.

"Eight years, why?" he asked.

"Well, I've been tattooing fifteen years, had a misogynistic father and grew up in the ghetto," Lydia said, her face inches from the young man, who looked like he was about to piss his pants. "The shit you're saying? I've heard it before, in some form or another. So take your stupid-ass Skrillex wannabe hair and get out of my fucking face before you end up crowdfunding the extensive plastic surgery it'll require to fix the damage my fist will do to your face. Is that understood, Mystical Mike?" she asked, sneering his name.

"Clearly, looking forward to competing against you, " Mike said, frightened, and scurried off.

A cackling laugh erupted behind her and Lydia turned to find the biggest, toughest looking woman she'd ever seen in her life doubled over in laughter, tears streaming from her face.

"You too, huh?" the tough girl asked in a deep, masculine voice once she'd calmed down. "He's been doing this to all of the contestants at this party." She held out a hand. "Name's Jackie. We're gonna be good friends."

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It was in this state, chatting happily with Jackie, that her husband Jamie had found her.

"Excuse me," Jamie politely, cutting in. Jackie apologised, thanked Lydia for the nice chat, and moved elsewhere. "I hate to cut this short, honey, but you promised me you'd say hi to the judges."

"Do I have to?" Lydia said, her voice a whine.

"Yes, I know you and your sister have bad blood, but Dave is still one of the judges," Jamie pointed out. "And if I can move on past Oliver and Chris giving me crap about having no tattoos, you can get over...whatever started that feud ten years ago, before you went to college."

After they'd gotten engaged, Jamie had requested that the both of them reveal any deep, dark secrets they might have. He had explained that he wanted to make sure there wasn't a psycho ex that would appear at the wedding drunk and sobbing, begging for a second chance. Or finding out that one of them had a massive credit card debt. Lydia didn't have any of those things, but she did have an estranged twin sister. She still refused to explain to Jamie what started the feud, just that they didn't speak.

"Fine," she sighed. "But that doesn't mean I have to like it."