Hold on Till May

While pulling into school, Vic knew this was the day. Today, Kellin and his life would change. With his brother Mike's help, Vic finally found some courage and decided that he would ask out the blue-eyed boy.

The clouds looked dark, signaling rain, but it didn't affect Vic's mood the slightest. He parked his car and looked over at the passenger sit. A single red rose lay, he would give it to Kellin when he saw him at his locker. Nothing could ruin this day for him Vic just needed to find Kellin, and then this day would truly be perfect.

---

Finding Kellin was easier said than done. When Vic got into school, he went straight to Kellin's locker, but the pale boy wasn't there. He waited there ten minutes after the bell rang, but just decided to go to class and look for him again at lunch.

Vic had first period with Kellin, but he still never showed up. The Mexican did not pay one second of attention to what the teacher had to say, he was too busy watching the door. He just wanted to see the black haired boy walk through the door, a blush tinting his cheeks from the embarrassment of being late. Kellin's greenish blue eyes would land on Vic's brown ones, making the blush even darker.

Vic was too busy daydreaming; he didn't hear the teacher call his name. He finally got out of his little world and noticed all eyes on him, especially the teacher's glare.

“Mr. Fuentes, since you were obviously not paying attention, I’m assuming you already know this. Please go up to the board and write down what you know about parallel lines.” Mr Link said handing the boy a white board marker. The students around him snickered, but Vic rolled his eyes. He knew all of this stuff, so answering this was a piece of cake. The Mexican realized he still had the rose gripped in his left hand, so he set it down on his desk then walked up to the board and wrote down what he knew.

“Who’s the lucky lady, Fuentes? Or should I say guy, ya' faggot” Oli laughed out. Vic knew it was him without even looking; the British accent gave it away. They used to be friends, but not now, once Oli hurt Kellin, Vic hated his guts.

“Oh, no, it's for your girlfriend,” Vic said with a simple shrug once he turned back around. His eyes went straight to Oli’s who looked furious. The Mexican went back to his seat, handing the marker to the teacher who was pinching the bridge of his nose. Mr Link grumbled something but went back to teaching, Vic once again tuned out until the bell rang.

Next period wasn’t so bad; Vic had his brother in that class. The only downside was Oli and Jaime also had that class, and Vic wasn’t in the mood to deal with them. He just wanted it to be lunch so he could go and find Kellin.

“Hey, bro,” Mike said as Vic sat down in the seat next to him. Mike didn’t look up from his phone, obviously the conversation he was having with whoever was very important. He was texting furiously, his eyebrows furrowed in concentration.

“Hey, Mikey,” Vic said with a raised eyebrow, “who are you texting?”

“Just Tony, he’s not coming to school today.” Mike said while sliding his phone in his pocket. Vic gave him a weird look but brushed it off. “What?”

“Nothing, it’s just that I don’t think Kellin came to school today either.” Vic said as their teacher walked into the classroom, late like usual.

“Wait, Kellin didn’t come to school…?” Mike asked slowly, his eyes wide.

“No, I don’t think so, why?” Vic asked, a weird feeling pooling in his stomach.

“Tony thinks that-” Mike was cut off by the teacher. He glanced at Vic who looked worried, but sighed and switched his attention to the teacher. Vic did the same, that weird feeling in his stomach not going away. He could tell something was wrong, very wrong.

When the bell rang after fourth period, Vic practically shot out of his chair. He realized he was still carrying Kellin's rose, so he went to his locker before leaving to search for the boy. He put in his combination, but when he opened it, something flew out. Vic picked it up; it was an envelope with his name on front in the familiar neat, cursive handwriting. He opened it, confused as to why he would leave him a letter in his locker.

As Vic read the letter, that sickening feeling came back, it hit him like a ton of bricks. Kellin's dead. He committed suicide.

Vic felt numb, he felt like he wasn't in control of his own body anymore. His knees gave in and he collapsed to the ground. The tears came quick and sobs racked through him as he clutched his chest, gasping for breath. Who knew the blue-eyed boy actually had this much of an effect on him.

Suddenly, Vic had arms pulling him against a small but hard chest. Whoever it was, was whispering things in his ear, trying to calm him down. Vic was having none of it though, he pounded on the person's chest, trying to break free. The person was stronger though, they grabbed Vic's wrists and just held him when he went limp in their arms as he cried.

When Vic calmed down, he looked up and saw it was his brother, he also noticed people giving him weird looks. He buried his face in Mike's neck, not wanting to look at them. Mike helped him stand up and brought him out of the school. They went towards the car, it was difficult but they made it nonetheless.

Mike opened the passenger side door and had Vic sit. He wiped the tears furiously from his eyes and sniffled. He felt so sick, his head was pounding and he had the feeling he was going to throw up any second. It couldn't be true, it just couldn't. It had to be some sick joke played by Oli, he always had it out for them. Mike climbed back in the car and look at his brother sympathetically.

“Go to bridge by the spillway.” Vic said calmly. Mike raised his eyebrows and began to protest, but when he saw Vic's icy glare, he just nodded his head and complied. No words were said on the ride there, the only sound was the occasional sniffle from Vic. He was no longer crying but the previous events left him with a stuffed-up nose. He was sure that those weren’t going to be the last of his tears for a while.

Mike pulled into the parking lot and Vic quickly got out from the car. He could see a small figure standing over the bridge’s railing and his heart dropped. He sprinted as fast as he could, leaving his brother behind and confused. Vic's heart pounded harder in his chest at each step he took.

“Kellin!”

The boy’s head jerked to Vic's direction, nearly losing his balance from the shock. He instantly feels guilt pile up high in his heart when he sees Vic's tear stained face come into focus. He had to turn away and look down at the rushing water below him before he did anything he regretted.

“Go away, Vic.” He demanded, coldly. Vic didn’t listen, he just walked closer to Kellin.

“Please, Kells don’t do this.” Vic pleaded, tears already flowing freely down his cheeks.

Kellin ignored him, biting his lip in an attempt to stop his own tears from falling. He tried gripping the metal bars tighter I his sweaty palms, he didn’t want to fall just yet. His brain was a jumbled mess, part of him wanted to jump and the other part of him wanted to climb back over and be held in Vic's arms as he cried. The latter was losing though as he thought about all the consequences of actually facing reality again. The first thing that popped into his mind was Oli, if Kellin didn’t kill himself then Oli sure would.

“C’mon, Kells, get down from there.” Vic wanted nothing more than for Kellin to come to his senses and stop being irrational, but things are always easier said than done.

“Why should I, Vic? What’s the point in living if you're already dead?” Kellin sneered, his features contorted into a scowl. He looked at Vic and raised an eyebrow. “What’s there to live for? Honestly, I don’t see how me dying would affect anything; I've caused nothing but trouble since day one. There is no reason to live this life anymore.” That was technically a lie; there was one thing that could potentially keep him alive. Vic was the only thing that just might have saved him.

“Stay for me, Kellin. I can help you! You don’t need to do this.” Vic was growing desperate.

“I don’t need help! I just need you!” Kellin yelled, shocking not only himself but Vic as well. Vic read the letter so he knew of Kellin’s feelings but hearing him admit them made it even more true.

“Kellin, you have me, you always have.” Vic said, resting a hand over Kellin’s cold, pale one. He gave Vic a pained look as tears poured down his face. He carefully moved without slipping so he was facing Vic. “I love you, Kells, can’t you see that?”

“I-I love you too, V-Vic.” Kellin sobbed. Vic cupped Kellin’s face in his hands and kissed him softly. Butterflies swarmed throughout Kellin’s stomach and a light pink dusted his cheeks. He kissed Vic back and in that moment, Kellin felt truly happy. When they pulled apart, Vic grinned widely but Kellin didn’t. He looked at Vic with an apologetic expression and whispered, “I’m so sorry.”

“Wh-” Before Vic could get a word out, Kellin had let go of the railing. A strangled noise escaped his throat as he reached out to grab anything on the pale boy but he was too late. He watched as Kellin plummeted into the icy water and for a second, Vic swore he actually saw a smile on the pale boy’s lips.

Realization struck him quickly and his legs gave out, collapsing to his knees and screaming. It felt almost as if someone took a knife and jabbed him in the heart several times. Ironically, he felt as if he was drowning. He gasped for breath but nothing was working, his nails dug into his skin on his neck as if clawing away the flesh would help him somehow. Black splotches danced in his line of vision from the lack of oxygen. He could hear distant footsteps and someone calling out his name but he was too far gone to actually recognize it.

---

The funeral was short, just how Kellin would have wanted it. He would never want anyone fussing over something as little as his death. There were lots of people that showed up which would have surprised Kellin the most. A lot of them were from school, just coming to wish their respects and whatnot. The most surprising was Oli and Jaime, both of them showed up, almost in tears.

Vic never showed up to the funeral, Mike said that he couldn’t handle the idea of saying goodbye and that’s what funerals are all about, right? saying goodbye to a person who has moved on? To Vic, Kellin wasn’t gone; how could he be, he just saw him a few days earlier. He was so far in denial that Mike actually couldn’t believe that his older brother was supposedly sane.

Vic completely dropped out of school and gave up on anything involving the outside world. He kept himself locked in his room, only leaving it to shower and eat when his family forced him. Everything became too much for him; all he wanted was to see the pale boy once again. That’s when the thought popped into his mind; he knew the exact way to be able to see Kellin again. First thing was first, he needed to find a piece of paper, envelope, and pencil before he could commence with his plan.