Status: In Progress
Recycled Memories
Something Rare
I
[His power was dance]
Devin and I leaned up against the wall as we stood, looking and waiting. Women in tube dresses or pencil skirts and men in oxfords, slacks and shirts were on either side of us. I felt the muted bass behind me, vibrating through my back. Effervescent chatter overlapped car horns and passing engines to create the white noise surrounding them.
The line moved as four people walked out of the building. The muffled bass was just a little bit less muffled and the ambiance of the club spewed out behind this group of possible double dates. It was possible that Devin was talking to me at this moment, but I couldn’t give him my attention. I was fixated on the four club goers.
The women wore dresses like Grecian goddesses and bracelets and necklaces that shimmered softly, reflecting flittering streetlamps. The men wore expertly tailored suits that embraced their virile bodies in the places it should. I suddenly felt out of place; more out of place than I normally feel. I felt out of place not only because of the way that I was dressed, but because of who I was. What where the chances of me meeting a guy in an exclusively straight club?
The line moved up four places as the four gods and goddesses exited the building, exposing their glamour in the moonlight. Were they really naked, exposed, or was this just their persona? Would they go home and shed their layers and become who they really are? Will they be not gods and goddesses at all, but stock brokers, accountants, lawyers, doctors? But even if they had boring day-to-day lives, it would be better than what I have. On the outside, I might hold one of the highest paying jobs in the country, working with ventilation systems, but on the inside, I’m a sad little boy who can’t get over his first love, even after three years.
More gods and goddesses poured out of the vibrating building, which meant it was finally time for Devin and me to enter. A man who might as well have been a giant stopped us at the door, asked for identification and then moved a metal detection wand around our bodies.
We walked into the building and came upon a hallway. At the end of a hallway was a box office type of room with two doors on either side of it. It was dark except for some track lighting on the edges of the floor and ceiling. It was almost like entering a theater; a theater where the movie was a shallow pool of well-dressed Olympians as they shift and shuffle across a dance floor with cocktails in one hand and an ass in the other.
Once we got to the box office, we bought our ticket into the club, walked to a little table on the side where employees of the club sat behind a table. There, they stamped out hands with black light ink and that is what granted us permission to walk into the club.
The first thing Devin and I did was make our way to the bar. He ordered a beer and I ordered vodka with orange juice. It didn’t take much. Normally people were crowding the bar, but the DJ seemed to be on an especially successful streak. I didn’t want to miss it, so I downed my drink as fast as I could. I told Devin that I would be on the dance floor and suddenly, instead of just watching the film, I was part of that shallow pool.
My body slid, spun, and swerved as the buzzing bass stirred through the room. I transcended. I was in a place where I didn’t need to escape. I could be myself with my hands flailing above my head, my feet shuffling back and forth and my hips grinding away my emotions.
And I
was
under-
water.
But I
still kept
dancing
because
I wanted
to run
away
And because
I could run
away
but I couldn't
deny
that our love
was
gone.
II
I felt that I wasn’t alone. So out of the water I snapped. That’s when I felt her hips. I felt her hips inch closer to mine. In the confusion, I didn’t want to stop dancing. If I stopped I would seem a gleaming light in the center of darkness. I didn’t know who this person was. She wasn’t even facing me so I couldn’t know for sure, but surely I would remember this person with long and luxurious sand-colored hair, illuminated with the yellow, red, and blue disco lights. Finally she turned around and I could see her soft face. I didn’t know her.
“Do I know you?” I yelled into her ear over the booming tunes.
“Sorry if I’m kind of dancing like a slut. I’ve had too much to drink.”
“Do I know you?” I yelled again, in case she didn’t hear me.
“You go to the college right?”
He wasn’t sure if he should answer her. So he stopped dancing and walked off of the dance floor. Devin was in the corner working his magic on some unknowing girl. This time, the bar was overcrowded by thirsty patrons desperate to either quench their thirst or smother their secrets.
I didn’t even get a chance to get the bartender’s attention before I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned around and there she was, smiling up at me like it was the most natural thing, like we were old friends. I stared down at her and she stared back. We were both silent. There wasn’t much we could say above the all-encompassing electro.
“I’m Maggie!”
“Alex!”
“It’s nice to meet you!”
She gently touched my arm with the tips of her fingers. I jerked my arm back, bumping someone that was right next to me, waiting for a drink at the bar. I saw her giggle, but of course I didn’t hear it. Her expressions reminded me of a silent film.
“You’re really cute!”
“What!”
I heard her, but I just didn’t want to have to reply.
“Do you wanna dance again?” She yelled into my ear.
“No. I’m taking a break!”
I thought she would go and dance on her own, but she stayed standing right in front of me. We stood for about a minute before she asked me again if I wanted to dance. When I turned her down again, she started to beg me to dance and put her hands all over my arms. I slipped away to the side to get her to stop touching me.
Just in my peripheral, I saw a shadow. At least he seemed a shadow. He stood in a corner, leaning against the wall. I wasn’t able to get too many details, because this Maggie person kept touching me. She took hold of my arm. I wouldn’t say that she grabbed it, because she wasn’t aggressive and grab can have an aggressive connotation.
“Are you leaving?” She asked.
“Yeah, I think I should leave.”
“Can I call you?”
I had a feeling that she wouldn’t let me go until I told her that she could call me.
“Do you have a cell phone?”
She handed me her phone and I put my number into her contacts.
“I’ve gotta go!”
Her smiled illuminated and jumped to wrap her arms around my neck. I didn’t want to be rude and push her off, but I did place my hands on her shoulders and just take her off of me. Without saying goodbye, I left, but not the club. Maggie went back to the dance floor.
And there he was: the shadow. I looked and the shadow looked back. He looked away, but looked back again. I smiled. He looked away. I waited for it. Once again, our eyes met. That’s how I knew. It wasn’t that first look, or even the second; it was that third look.
The third look contained a smile. A smile painted his face again and I started walking towards him. When I got to him, I spoke in his ear.
“Not to be cliché, but finding you in here was like finding a needle in a haystack.”
He had a billion watt smile. “Not to be cliché, but you stick out like a sore thumb.”
Does this mean that he was watching me? Or does it just mean that he knew I was gay when he first saw me? I stopped thinking because I didn’t want my face to show it.
“Are you here with anyone?”
“Just a couple of friends,” he answered.
I raised my arm and rested it on the wall behind him, nearly touching the side of his face. I smiled at him and he smiled back. I could see that he had light brown hair, maybe blonde, but his eyes were a mystery.
“Do you have a car? Wanna get out of here?”
He looked around, probably for his friends, then he looked me up and down and smiled. “Yeah, let’s get out of here.”
We walked
through the
crowd and
I felt his
warmth
as he took
my hand.
Don't
stop.
The heat of the club left me as I hit the crisp outside air. I felt like those Olympians, swiftly leaving behind the shallow pool for something better, or at least something that feels better.
The shadow walked me to his car. It was a small car, probably a Honda. In the lights in the inside of his car, I could finally see his eyes. Their color was a light olive green. He started his car and off we went into a place void of emotion.
[His power was dance]
Devin and I leaned up against the wall as we stood, looking and waiting. Women in tube dresses or pencil skirts and men in oxfords, slacks and shirts were on either side of us. I felt the muted bass behind me, vibrating through my back. Effervescent chatter overlapped car horns and passing engines to create the white noise surrounding them.
The line moved as four people walked out of the building. The muffled bass was just a little bit less muffled and the ambiance of the club spewed out behind this group of possible double dates. It was possible that Devin was talking to me at this moment, but I couldn’t give him my attention. I was fixated on the four club goers.
The women wore dresses like Grecian goddesses and bracelets and necklaces that shimmered softly, reflecting flittering streetlamps. The men wore expertly tailored suits that embraced their virile bodies in the places it should. I suddenly felt out of place; more out of place than I normally feel. I felt out of place not only because of the way that I was dressed, but because of who I was. What where the chances of me meeting a guy in an exclusively straight club?
The line moved up four places as the four gods and goddesses exited the building, exposing their glamour in the moonlight. Were they really naked, exposed, or was this just their persona? Would they go home and shed their layers and become who they really are? Will they be not gods and goddesses at all, but stock brokers, accountants, lawyers, doctors? But even if they had boring day-to-day lives, it would be better than what I have. On the outside, I might hold one of the highest paying jobs in the country, working with ventilation systems, but on the inside, I’m a sad little boy who can’t get over his first love, even after three years.
More gods and goddesses poured out of the vibrating building, which meant it was finally time for Devin and me to enter. A man who might as well have been a giant stopped us at the door, asked for identification and then moved a metal detection wand around our bodies.
We walked into the building and came upon a hallway. At the end of a hallway was a box office type of room with two doors on either side of it. It was dark except for some track lighting on the edges of the floor and ceiling. It was almost like entering a theater; a theater where the movie was a shallow pool of well-dressed Olympians as they shift and shuffle across a dance floor with cocktails in one hand and an ass in the other.
Once we got to the box office, we bought our ticket into the club, walked to a little table on the side where employees of the club sat behind a table. There, they stamped out hands with black light ink and that is what granted us permission to walk into the club.
The first thing Devin and I did was make our way to the bar. He ordered a beer and I ordered vodka with orange juice. It didn’t take much. Normally people were crowding the bar, but the DJ seemed to be on an especially successful streak. I didn’t want to miss it, so I downed my drink as fast as I could. I told Devin that I would be on the dance floor and suddenly, instead of just watching the film, I was part of that shallow pool.
My body slid, spun, and swerved as the buzzing bass stirred through the room. I transcended. I was in a place where I didn’t need to escape. I could be myself with my hands flailing above my head, my feet shuffling back and forth and my hips grinding away my emotions.
And I
was
under-
water.
But I
still kept
dancing
because
I wanted
to run
away
And because
I could run
away
but I couldn't
deny
that our love
was
gone.
II
I felt that I wasn’t alone. So out of the water I snapped. That’s when I felt her hips. I felt her hips inch closer to mine. In the confusion, I didn’t want to stop dancing. If I stopped I would seem a gleaming light in the center of darkness. I didn’t know who this person was. She wasn’t even facing me so I couldn’t know for sure, but surely I would remember this person with long and luxurious sand-colored hair, illuminated with the yellow, red, and blue disco lights. Finally she turned around and I could see her soft face. I didn’t know her.
“Do I know you?” I yelled into her ear over the booming tunes.
“Sorry if I’m kind of dancing like a slut. I’ve had too much to drink.”
“Do I know you?” I yelled again, in case she didn’t hear me.
“You go to the college right?”
He wasn’t sure if he should answer her. So he stopped dancing and walked off of the dance floor. Devin was in the corner working his magic on some unknowing girl. This time, the bar was overcrowded by thirsty patrons desperate to either quench their thirst or smother their secrets.
I didn’t even get a chance to get the bartender’s attention before I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned around and there she was, smiling up at me like it was the most natural thing, like we were old friends. I stared down at her and she stared back. We were both silent. There wasn’t much we could say above the all-encompassing electro.
“I’m Maggie!”
“Alex!”
“It’s nice to meet you!”
She gently touched my arm with the tips of her fingers. I jerked my arm back, bumping someone that was right next to me, waiting for a drink at the bar. I saw her giggle, but of course I didn’t hear it. Her expressions reminded me of a silent film.
“You’re really cute!”
“What!”
I heard her, but I just didn’t want to have to reply.
“Do you wanna dance again?” She yelled into my ear.
“No. I’m taking a break!”
I thought she would go and dance on her own, but she stayed standing right in front of me. We stood for about a minute before she asked me again if I wanted to dance. When I turned her down again, she started to beg me to dance and put her hands all over my arms. I slipped away to the side to get her to stop touching me.
Just in my peripheral, I saw a shadow. At least he seemed a shadow. He stood in a corner, leaning against the wall. I wasn’t able to get too many details, because this Maggie person kept touching me. She took hold of my arm. I wouldn’t say that she grabbed it, because she wasn’t aggressive and grab can have an aggressive connotation.
“Are you leaving?” She asked.
“Yeah, I think I should leave.”
“Can I call you?”
I had a feeling that she wouldn’t let me go until I told her that she could call me.
“Do you have a cell phone?”
She handed me her phone and I put my number into her contacts.
“I’ve gotta go!”
Her smiled illuminated and jumped to wrap her arms around my neck. I didn’t want to be rude and push her off, but I did place my hands on her shoulders and just take her off of me. Without saying goodbye, I left, but not the club. Maggie went back to the dance floor.
And there he was: the shadow. I looked and the shadow looked back. He looked away, but looked back again. I smiled. He looked away. I waited for it. Once again, our eyes met. That’s how I knew. It wasn’t that first look, or even the second; it was that third look.
The third look contained a smile. A smile painted his face again and I started walking towards him. When I got to him, I spoke in his ear.
“Not to be cliché, but finding you in here was like finding a needle in a haystack.”
He had a billion watt smile. “Not to be cliché, but you stick out like a sore thumb.”
Does this mean that he was watching me? Or does it just mean that he knew I was gay when he first saw me? I stopped thinking because I didn’t want my face to show it.
“Are you here with anyone?”
“Just a couple of friends,” he answered.
I raised my arm and rested it on the wall behind him, nearly touching the side of his face. I smiled at him and he smiled back. I could see that he had light brown hair, maybe blonde, but his eyes were a mystery.
“Do you have a car? Wanna get out of here?”
He looked around, probably for his friends, then he looked me up and down and smiled. “Yeah, let’s get out of here.”
We walked
through the
crowd and
I felt his
warmth
as he took
my hand.
Don't
stop.
The heat of the club left me as I hit the crisp outside air. I felt like those Olympians, swiftly leaving behind the shallow pool for something better, or at least something that feels better.
The shadow walked me to his car. It was a small car, probably a Honda. In the lights in the inside of his car, I could finally see his eyes. Their color was a light olive green. He started his car and off we went into a place void of emotion.