Maps

one and only

I always thought that when it was over you wouldn’t be inside me anymore. But your fingers tiptoed across my rib cage and climbed into my heart and I just don’t know how to tell you to leave.

I still want to settle down beside your hipbones, because I know them more than I know myself; know every bump, every curve and every flaw. And I remember all those whispered words, like braille against my skin; the I love you, I love you, I love you, with every brush of your lips against my neck — the words you could never say out loud.

But somewhere along the line I lost the route to your heart, and I don’t know how to get it back. The map that had been carved into my flesh has faded and left nothing but a scar, and it hurts to touch and it hurts inside because I’m always waiting for it to reappear.

So I hope I look pretty on your flesh. I hope she sees it when your clothes are off; I hope you look down at it and remember me; remember every word and every touch and every lie. I hope it digs into you while you sleep and I hope that it presses against your heart, and I hope that it makes you struggle for breath.

Because I lost you along the way. But I know I will find you in the light behind her eyes, because you didn’t belong in mine.
♠ ♠ ♠
ahhhhh I don't like this