You Make Me Want to Punch You in the Face

Jake walked into the front of the bus rubbing his temple. Sammi was having lunch with CC at the table and Ashley was watching Spike TV on the couch.

Ashley chuckled seeing his friend in pain, “You look like shit dude.”

“Shut. Up.” Jake said every word in a cut fashion, showing how sick he felt. After getting a bottle of water he sat next to Ashley. “Where were you last night?” He asked in an upset tone, pointing to Sammi with the bottle.

She quickly gulped down the microwavable pasta in her mouth. “Oh, I was with Ren and her friends.”

Hearing all the noise going on in the front of the bus, Andy rolled out of his bunk and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes as he joined the conversation. “Who were you talking to?”

“A frik’n ninja.” CC stated, he was convinced Ren was in the CIA or something.

Andy made a face like he couldn’t process what he’d just heard. “Uh, what?”

Sammi giggled, “My new friend Ren. She saved my purse yesterday, so I spent the night talking to her and her friends.”

“Don’t cover for her Sammi. The girl did a backflip off a wall, okay? After sucking down as much liquor as I usually do. She is definitely a ninja.” CC pointed at Sammi with the chopsticks he was holding in an accusatory way. He was eating microwaved ramen and was trying to look cool by using the sticks.

Andy was a little hung over from the night before. He shook his head while bracing himself with his arms in the doorway that led from the front of the bus to the bunk hallway. “You made friends… with a ninja?”

“She is not a ninja!” Sammi was trying desperately to defend her new friend. “You saw her Andy, she looks nothing like a ninja.”

“Or a fan of ours.” Ashley stated, he was a bit perturbed at the fact he couldn’t get Ren in bed.

Andy wore a questioning look. Sammi just rolled her eyes and walked over to him. She pulled out her phone and showed the picture of Ren and her to Andy. He found himself smiling, though he didn’t know why.

“Hm, she’s pretty.”

Ashley rolled his eyes from where he sat. “She’s not that pretty.”

CC huffed as he chewed, “You just mad cuz you got rejected.”

“Please, she’s probably a lesbian.”

“Ashley!” Sammi became immediately offended. “Don’t insult her because she wasn’t stupid enough to sleep with you.”

He just huffed, “Like anyone could get anything from her cold ass.”

“I got her number!” Mark the bodyguard yelled from the passenger seat at the front of the bus.

Ashley’s mouth was unhinged. Andy and CC were trying to hide the fact they were laughing at their friend.

“How the hell did you manage that?” Sammi asked turning to the front of the bus.

“What? I don’t have game?”

“No. You don’t.” Ashley said with a confused and offended face.

Mark laughed and agreed, “Ya well. She’s actually pretty skilled. Told her to look into personal security. She’s like a bartender or something right now. That’s a waist of talent.”

CC tapped at the table with the chopsticks in the cadence he spoke, “I’m telling you man, ninja.”

Andy just laughed and rubbed his face. “Really CC?”

“Dude. You don’t know. Sammi, show him the video.”

Sammi just nodded and pulled out her phone. She showed Andy the video she had taken last night of Ren’s peer pressured showcase. He just watched and shrugged his shoulders once it was over. She was cute, but Andy had seen plenty of cute girls.

“She’s just an acrobat, I mean it’s impressive but there are plenty of people that can do that.”

“See? She’s really not all that interesting.”

“Shut up Ashley!” The entire conversation Jake had remained silent, but Ashley’s constant egotistical jabbering drove him nuts. Ashley pulled the corner of his mouth into an angry sigh then decided to remain silent.

Sammi rolled her eyes and pulled Andy’s attention back to her phone. She pulled up the youtube video she saved of Ren’s purse rescue and showed it to him. When Andy saw her take down his face burst into a smile which he tried to cover with his wrist.

“Holy shit.”

CC smiled, “Told you, ninja.”

Sammi and Andy just rolled their eyes almost in sync. After a few minutes of light conversation everyone went back to what they were previously doing.

~

Being back home was already taking a toll on Ren. Her body was already ridden with frustration at both her mother and army of little brats that hung on her coattails. By the time she was ready to leave for work she got a text message from Sammi.

Sammi: Hey.

It took a minute for Ren to realize who it was. Most of the night before had been forgotten.

Ren: Sammi?

Sammi: No Jesus, and I would like to know why you didn’t tell me about the bodyguard job.

Ren: Well, my lord, didn’t know it was your business.

Sammi: Ouch. That hurt.

Ren: Meh, you’ll get over it.

Sammi: Wow, bitchy.

Ren: Girl you’ve known me one day. You ain’t seen nothing yet.

Sammi: Remind me to not get on your bad side.

Ren: No promises.

Sammi: D:<<br>
Ren: Don’t eyebrow me. What cha want?

Sammi: Just wanting to know what’s up. Gotta have a reason to talk to a new friend?

Ren stared at her phone as she pulled on her boots. Friend, huh? Ren had never had girl friends, not really. She wasn’t exactly a girlish kid and would be found playing football not practicing cheerleading. Ren didn’t know how to respond to someone that just wanted to talk to her. What would she talk about? Her family was too personal. Her job was too boring. And, her life was just an exhausting mess. She decided on sarcasm. When in doubt, go with sarcasm.

Ren: Friend huh? I thought I was just your purse returning whore. TmT

Sammi: That’s a weird emoji and no you’re not. You’re my friend, who just happens to be a purse rescuing whore. Anyway, what ya doing?

Ren: Getting ready for work.

Sammi: Oh, your excitements killing me. Seriously, why don’t you try and become a bodyguard?

Ren: You have to be trained to become a personal bodyguard.

Sammi: So?

Ren: So? Did you forget I was doing tricks for money when you met me?

Sammi: …

Ren: Sorry, I just got home and got enveloped in live’s frustrations without even catching a breath.

Sammi: Is this ninja girl? Hey ninja girl, it’s CC!!!!!

Ren: lol, thank you CC for actually made me laugh.

Sammi: Sorry about that. He’s special.

Ren: You’re special.

Sammi: Let’s get back to the cereal, shall we? Become a BODYGUARD!

Ren: Why are you so set on this?

Sammi: I can’t want you to try something new with your life? To be happy?!

Ren: … Dude we met like less than 48 hours ago.

Sammi: Well, I could be a little selfish and say when I’m on this bus with the band and all there manly-man roadies I kind of go crazy.

Ren: Ah huh, there it is. I gotta be honest. If you’re looking for somebody to get manicures and shit with, you have a better chance with Andy.

Sammi: Pfft, no. I just get tired of listening to them talk about how easy girls are and GTA 4.

Ren: Well, you won’t have to worry about the first part.

Sammi: Are you a tomboy?

Ren: … I guess?

Sammi: Sorry was that offensive?

Ren: It didn’t bother me.

Sammi: You’re pretty chill, you know that?

Ren: I don’t know, I guess. I mean, I do get agitated just like everyone else. Just not at stupid things.

Sammi: What is that supposed to mean? >=C

Ren: ? I’m just saying, I don’t really get mad at much. Unless someone like physically harms me, don’t really see the point of getting angry.

Sammi: See? That’s what I mean, super chill.

Ren: Yep. Just call me Super Chill, rescuer of purses.

Sammi: OMG DYING! >XD

Ren: You have a weird affinity for emoji eyebrows.

Sammi: Shut up. So when are you going to training.

Ren: UGH. If I say I’ll think about it will you drop it?

Sammi: Yep. What are you doing now?

Ren: Taking the bus to work. Would normally skate, but I felt like talking.

Sammi: Aww, I feel so special.

Ren: That’s us. I’m super chill and you’re my side kick, special.

There was a long pause and Ren was about to put her phone away when she got another message.

Sammi: Sorry I was busy losing my shit. All the guys are looking at me like I’m crazy now. Thanks for that.

Ren: You’re welcome. Listen I gotta start skating now. Can’t be late.

Sammi: Okay. But listen, seriously think about the guard position! And keep in touch! I need a girl friend that can kick some serious ass.

Ren: =] Alright, be sure to text you later. Bye bye.

Ren started to think about her life as wheels hit pavement. She reviewed the few years of adulthood she had already lived through. Ren was always the responsible one, always working. The more she thought about it, the more she realized she hadn’t been truly happy in a long time. Life was so much easier on the ranch. Now, with mouths to feed and people to take care of she was always tired, frustrated, and apathetic. When she got to work, after changing, she brought it up to Derrell.

“I don’t know man, you think I can? Training would be during the day, then I would need to come here at night. I may even need to cut my hours back.”

That made Derrell sigh heavily. “Look, as your boss I gotta say not too happy about this. You’re my best bartender and if you’re not around our regulars aren’t going to come in.”

Ren wore a downcast face as she set up the bar stools. “And, as my friend?”

Derrell threw the towel he was cleaning with down on the bar and rubbed his face in a frustrating way. “I want you to be happy of course.” His fingers ran up his face and into his hair, pushing his beanie off. “I also don’t want you to overload yourself.”

She gave him an all knowing smile. “When do I not do that?”

Derrell raised his hands, giving up the argument. His face went from an accepting smirk to an all serious look. “How you gonna pay for it?”

She sighed leaning on the bar in a defeated manner. “Always the question, isn’t it?... I’ve been saving up for a car.”

Derrell’s eyes were large with shock, “You have? How much you got?”

“3000 for the car and almost another grand for a year of insurance.”

“Damn, and you’re gonna drop in… on bodyguard training?” Derrell covered his mouth with his hand.

All Ren could do was fuck up her hair as she ran her fingers through it shouting a ‘god damn it’ at the top of her lungs.

When she got home she was exhausted and decided ‘to hell with it.’ She was going to try something else, in order to be happy. It took months of training and eating free cheap pizza from her mothers work, but Ren got certified for personal security in record time. As soon as she was certified she contacted Greg. He was impressed with her initiative and said if she wanted she could help finish out the last leg of the tour. She immediately left for Warped without any hesitation, with Derrell giving her a ride of course. Ren was put on one of the Roodie buses which taught her living on a tour bus experience. She was assigned to the outskirt security where she wasn’t able to interact with the bands much. On occasion she would be able to catch a performance, even able to actually hang out with Jinxx a few times. Sammi was busy working. She found him easy to talk to and actually enjoyed his calm company. She was even able to meet Jon once. Once Warped was ended Ren didn’t really know what to do, she couldn’t go without work for a year.

Derrell had the answer. He put Ren on security whenever bands would roll in. Word got out of how good she was. By then end of 2011 Ren was working at several bars and clubs around Houston as security. Though life had become hectic Ren still kept in contact with Derrell, Sammi, and Greg.

Once February 2012 rolled around Ren was sleeping in on her day off when she got a call from an unknown number. She had been dating a guy named Nick for months. It has started right before she went in to training. He wasn’t happy with her job choice because he didn’t like her being away for so long. As the phone buzzed Nick made a noise as he laid next to her, so she answered it quickly to not wake him.

“He-hello?” She answered groggily.

“Is this Ren?”

“Maybe, depends on who’s calling on my day off.” Ren was usually polite, just not when you cut into her sleep.

“Jon.”

“Ren. Now that intros are over. Why are you calling me?”

Jon chuckled. “Well, I’m actually the manager for Black Veil Brides.”

Ren blinked from where she lay, trying to process everything she had just heard. “…Oh, Jon. Hey.” It had been so long since they met, Ren almost didn’t remember who she was.

“Not as, enthusiastic as I was hoping for, but alright. Look, I got your number from Greg.”

Ren pinched the sleep from her eyes. “Uh, okay.”

“Done anything since Warped Tour?” Jon was firing off questions like a detective.

Ren rubbed her face and got up before walking into the bathroom. “Mm, yeah. Been working all the venues around Huston. Even worked at Breath Carolina and iwrestledabearonce concerts.”

“Really?! I’ll call you back.”

Ren stared at her phone in anger. It had to be a prank. She decided to hit the hay, waiting to catch up on lost sleep. Later that day she received a call from the same number. She answered agitating, “Who is this?”

“Jon, from earlier? Listen I got in contact with Ralph, manager at Lady Monroe, and he vouched for you.” Lady Monroe is a venue that Ren worked at often.

Ren looked at her phone a bit innerved, “Uh, okay. So, why are you calling me Jon?”

“Well we are in a bit of a predicament. You see one of our guards decided to quit a few days before tour. Mark highly recommended you and now Ralph is backing you up.”

Ren’s eyes widened and she slammed down her DrPepper can in disbelief, “Are you offering me a job?”

Jon just laughed on the other end, “Yeah. What do you say?”

“Well we’ve got to go over logistics.” Ren took a seat at the table and waved off one of her little brothers. “I mean, where is this tour?”

“Ah, a lady that knows what she’s talking about. Well the majority of the tour will be in Australia, but we’ll do some shows in Asia, one in London, then we’ll be returning home.”
“Australia, huh?” Ren immediately thought about the travel. She had never been out of the states before and was really interested in going. She ran her tongue over her teeth thinking about Nick and her family. “How long is the tour?”

“Through March and a little of April, you’d be back for Warped. Unless of course you like us, then we may keep you on as a permanent bodyguard.”

After talking of salary and wages Ren decided to take the job. She informed her mother, who was happy she’d be getting a bigger salary. She wasn’t too keen on Ren’s sudden change of careers, but when she got hold of that big ass pay check all her arguments flew out of the window. Nick was not at the fact she would be away for so long. They argued for days, eventually had rough makeup sex, and got over it. Ren wanted the relationship to last, so bad. But, she knew it wouldn’t. They never did. All her relationships were like this, simple but short. She knew it had something to do with her, but Ren never understood what it was. Maybe she just didn’t know how to love, that though made her loath herself.

Jon had wanted to meet Ren before the actual tour, but she couldn’t afford to go all the way to Cali for a meeting. So they video chatted. Jon smiled at everything Ren did. He found her charming and diligent. After less than ten minutes Jon was sold.

“Well, Miss Torres…”

“Ren.” She held up her finger to correct him.

“Right, Ren. I guess I’ll be seeing you in a few weeks.”