Rejecting Him

A cool nighttime breeze kissed my arms, sending a shiver down my spine. The flowers that flanked my apartment's doorstep, large white potted moonflowers, released a fragrant perfume into the air.

"Moonflowers," I said when I noticed Logan caressing one of the delicate petals with his thumb and forefinger. "Everyone in my family has them."

"They're pretty," Logan said. Once again he met my eyes. I just shrugged, looking down to hide the blush and dumb smile on my face.

"Eh, I was thinking of getting rid of them." Before Warren catches on, I added silently.

"Really?" Warren frowned. "They give the place character."

I laughed. "Then take 'em. I'll even help you move the damn things if you want!" The flowers were tall, wrapping themselves along a standing pole in the pot's soil. I didn't doubt for a minute that they'd be difficult to move without some kind of help.

Logan laughed as well but shook his head. "Nah, keep the flowers."

"You don't what you're missing!" I coaxed in a sing-song voice as I leaned against the door with a grin.

"Maybe you should clue me in," Logan said.

Smiling softly now, I stepped forward and gently placed my hands on either side of his face. Logan's skin was soft and warm, his hands resting comfortably at the small of his back. The callouses on his palms hardly bothered me at all. My stomach performed nervous flip-flops as our faces slowly neared each other. I bit my lip and looked up into Logan's eyes.

Could this be happening? I thought, hoping he didn't notice the tremor working its way through me. I couldn't remember the last time I'd been this close to another person.

Logan quickly closed the gap between us, but just as his lips brushed against mine, I pulled away. There was a scent on the wind: a scent of musk and cinnamon.

"What's wrong?" Logan asked with a frown. "Did I--are we moving too fast? Cuz if you want to wait--"

"No, no, it's fine." I dared a quick, nervous peek over Logan's shoulder. Warren was nowhere to be found. I checked my watch without really seeing the time. "Listen, it's late, and I have work tomorrow..."

"I understand," Logan said in a clipped tone. He sighed. "Hey Callie?"

"Yeah?"

"I really like you. You know that, right?"

I smiled. "I like you too."

Logan shuffled his feet. "And... I think it'd be awesome if we got to see more of each other."

"Then maybe we should."

He grinned. I returned the grin, but not without a feeling of dread welling up deep inside.

~

It took far too long to fall asleep, although that didn't guarantee that I would stay asleep. My dreams were a fleeting, jumbled mess. I couldn't remember much, but what I did remember were Warren's laughing eyes and Logan's terrified screams.

At three in the morning I gave up on any hope of sleep. Guilt weighed me down, sent my mind racing down a rabbit hole with no end in sight. All I could do was sigh in resignation and curl up under my zebra-striped comforter.

My mind was flooded with questions. How long had Warren been standing there? How long had he known where I lived? Who told him? Did he find out on his own?

And what about Logan? My eyes squeezed shut and I let out a groan. Oh god, Logan. What would this mean for him? If Warren had been there watching us, then he must have seen Logan's face when he left...

Crap. I sat bolt-upright and grabbed my phone. My first instinct was to warn him, but it was no use. Logan didn't know a thing, and even if I explained it all to him, I knew he wouldn't believe me. The only way anyone would believe me was if they saw me transform.

Yeah, no. That would never happen.

"So now what?" I whispered to myself in the darkness. The only response I got was a soft scratching at my back door.

~

A shaft of grey sunlight filtered in through the window. I groaned and rolled over, pulling the comforter up over my head. I used to sleep in a lot, growing up, but as soon as adulthood hit, sleeping in became a thing of the past. I woke up too early, too often, for that to be a possibility anymore. Of course, that's not to say I tried. As much as I liked to keep busy, I also liked to catch up on the sleep I missed because of my job.

I snuck a peek at my clock and groaned again at the time. Six AM was far too early to be up on my day off. But even an hour later, sleep still eluded me. Finally I got up and shuffled into the kitchen, where I fixed myself a cup of coffee. As the coffeemaker burbled I went outside onto the doorstep to check for the paper.

My neighbor, Bertha, was outside with her Shih Tzu, Teddy. She was a sweet, elderly auntie-type who lived next door to me with her husband, Dennis. Bertha and Dennis were both active in the various social clubs they had joined and always invited me over for dinner during the holidays. Though I typically said no, it wasn't for lack of desire to have dinner with them. Dennis was an avid fisherman and I could always smell his catches being cooked when he brought them home. I was just busy with the pack activities that went on that time of year.

"Good morning!" Bertha called with a wave. I smiled and waved back. She'd always reminded me of Mrs. Potts from Beauty and the Beast, with her round little body and a pouf of white curls pulled into a neat bun on top of her head. Dennis, too, had a squat body, but after serving in the Navy all his life, he was all muscle, like a pit bull.

"Hey Bertha," I said on a yawn as I bent to pick up the morning paper. I don't remember ever signing up for this particular publication, being more of a Willamette Week person, but if the paper came, I was reading. Dad liked his pack to be informed.

No, I corrected myself, shivering involuntarily. This is Warren's pack now.

"What's new with you?" I asked. "Reading anything exciting for your book club?"

Bertha, like me, was a social creature. Not only was she active in her temple, but she was in a book club and had started a quilting group not that long ago. Some of the quilts she finished she gave to her children, while others were given to the nearby homeless shelter.

"Oh, yes, actually! We're reading about an ancient Chinese empress. It's a fascinating book! But I could hardly concentrate on my reading last night," she said, the last bit not without a note of distaste.

I frowned and asked, "Why's that?"

Bertha wasn't exactly a heavy sleeper, but she and Dennis were both steady in their sleeping habits. I couldn't remember them ever waking up in the middle of the night or even staying up late. With my werewolf hearing, I didn't need to live in a place with thin walls to be able to hear my neighbors.

"Well, there was a cat scratching at your back door all night. Such a loud little thing. You should really keep it inside, especially if it hasn't been fixed," Bertha replied. Her brow furrowed in concern.

I must have paled, judging by the strange look on Bertha's face.

"Callie, are you all right, dear?"

"I-I don't own a cat. I've never owned any pets at all." My voice was light and high as I struggled to sound normal.

"Maybe it was the wind, then."

"Yeah... Maybe." Pure denial, but it was all that could keep me calm. "Hey, um, I think I left my coffee going. I'll.... Um, have a good day."

I scurried back inside, barely listening as Bertha called a half-hearted goodbye after me. I hardly cared about slamming the door. Despite my parents teaching me to not slam doors shut, it felt like the only outlet I had for the emotions surging through me in the moment.

I didn't want to think Warren was at my back door all night, but what else could it have been? Not an animal, that was for damn sure. Being a werewolf was, in a nutshell, like being animal repellent. They knew by smell alone that my kind was neither normal nor natural, and wisely kept their distance.

Maybe it was one of the neighbor boys playing a prank? I wondered, tightly clasping my hands together to keep them from shaking. It wasn't all that unusual for one of the Jensen boys to try and pulls something like that. Their mother, Rehtaeh, hardly watched them, and liked to say that they were just "gifted" or "spirited" every time I wound up with a flaming bag of dog shit on my porch.

Yes, that's it, I concluded with a deep breath. It's just the neighbor boys.

In my heart I knew that not even these boys, misbehaved though they were, could have done it. It had been so late, and they were only thirteen.

Whatever keeps me sane, I guess.

As soon as I was sure Bertha had gone back inside, I carefully went to inspect my door. Bertha was too sweet to judge me, it seemed, but I had grown too used to being alone in my fear.

The fragrant perfume of Bertha's roses hung in the air as I stepped outside. Eyes closed, I inhaled deeply in an attempt to calm myself down. The last thing I wanted was to be freaking out when I actually checked the door out for myself. There would be plenty of time for that later.

Finally, I reopened my eyes and turned to look at the door. At first it seemed completely normal--neutral pea green in color, some paint chipping off here and there. I glanced around the wide-open parking lot to be sure I was truly alone. For the most part, I could be sure that I was. This place had attracted a lot of families, it was just that kind of neighborhood. Most of my neighbors would be off at work by now, their kids busy in school.

I trailed my fingers along the rough wood of the door. A familiar scent lingered here, though less strong than before. I shivered. Warren had been here.

He knew where I lived.

I covered my mouth to hold back the scream that threatened to tear out of my chest.

~

Throughout my entire shift at work I kept a careful watch on my surroundings. To my relief, Warren never showed up. Perhaps the little nighttime excursion to my home had been enough to satisfy him, or maybe one of his own wolves was in the store, watching my every move.

I no longer trusted the unknown werewolves around me, but reporting them wasn't an option. I trusted my own pack even less. The only three I could really count on were Nick, Alanna and Eric. The only one who was truly safe from banishment was Alanna. According to Charles, there had been Alphas who banished members they perceived to be a threat. I knew Eric was a given in that category, but would Warren be dumb enough to banish the family of the Alpha he had just replaced?

God only knew...

~

I didn't drive home right away. Instead, I made my way out to Oaks Bottom, hoping that being surrounded by wilderness would help to clear my mind. I had been far too distracted at work to function normally; even my co-workers were beginning to notice. It wasn't like there was anything they could do, though. You show me a human who thinks they can take on a werewolf in a fight and I'll show you a human with a death wish.

The sky was tinged gold and pink, like a splash of watercolor on the horizon. I basked in the stillness of the evening with a smile on my face. Even the occasional dog I met on the trail didn't bother me despite the anxious fear in their eyes. All I wanted was to be outside. The wolf in me craved the wilderness. Above all else, that was what could soothe my soul.

I ducked off the paved trail and picked my way through the trees and brush until I reached a clearing. When I first discovered this area, there was nothing to it, and it was hidden perfectly among the trees that Oregon worked to preserve. Now, though, I could see that I was starting to leave my mark. A small gap in the surrounding bushes was beginning to form, and when I looked down, I spotted my own paw-prints.

Mine...and another's.

Anger, hot and blazing, flared up inside me. I knew my own paw-prints because of the size and scent. These tracks easily dwarfed those of a regular wolf despite being identical. The second set were the same as mine--clearly wolf but much larger. I bared my teeth in a snarl. This was my territory, the pack wolves knew that. I was certain the loners knew it too, as I had never once detected them in the wetlands. Why, then, was there another here?

I crouched down and lowered my nose to the ground. After everything I'd been through, I was ready to find Warren's scent in the tracks. But it wasn't him I smelled. Instead, I smelled poppies.