Secretly Forever Yours

I finish putting the shirt over my head. "Thank you,"
He smiles. "Of course,"
I'm still very excited and breathing as much as possible to take in all of the sweatshirts fumes. Actually, I thought I was allergic to Axe and then Kyler wore it. But only a hint. Not like the rest of the guys who drown themselves in it. That's what makes my throat close up and my stomach to writh in pain.
The gum is a different story. I can't remember much about that day, but this what I have...
Kyler was at my house hanging around with Chris. This was last year. He was the only sophomore on varsity and Chris took him under his wing so the upperclassmen didn't beat his face in. Anyway, they were in the basement (Technically, it's Chris's room now.) playing his Xbox. Chris had just finished painting the basement and the paint fumes were really strong. Needless to say, we were all high on the paint odor. Chris started getting nauseous and went up stairs to clear his head. So that left Kyler and I alone higher than outer space.
We were totally wasted. Kyler took a pack of gum out his pocket and offered me piece. His voice was really high, higher than I thought it could go.
Like the giggely little girl I never was, I took it.
Kyler leaned in very close to me and smiled. I could smell the spearmint. I leaned into him too. My breathing fogged up his glasses up. He started laughing so hard when he couldn't see. I laughed too because he was laughing and I was high... My point is we were a millimeter away from our lips touching and Chris came booming down the stairs with a sandwich. We pulled away from each other in an instant. We have never spoken of it.
I honestly don't think he remembers that. We were high as the sky. But I do. Oh God, I do. I try not to think about it too much though so I don't get my hopes up. You know what I mean. I don't want to be that girl who has these scenarios that may never come true in her head. I want to be someone who can be independent. Someone who can be alone. Someone who knows what they want.
Someone who can have Kyler Jefferson Bennett.
We work in silence. Kyler then decides to strike up conversation again.
"So, how are things?"
"Oh, you know, the usual. I'm busy as heck." I say.
Chris told me to never cuss. He couldn't have his baby sister be a potty mouth. Even though he does swear himself, he likes to keep me as innocent as possible.
Kyler shakes is head at me. "God, St. Cloud. You're such a goodie two-shoes! Cuss! It's wonderful and it takes you anger out."
"Oh please," I roll my eyes. "I've never heard you swear."
"Hell. Shit. Damn." He says quietly, but proudly.
I don't ever think I've heard him speak at that low of a volume before. Ha, too bad he's wrong...
"Hell is not a swear word. It is a place." I say smugly.
"Oh shut it, St. Cloud," he says. He smirks about a second afterwards.
Mrs. Brady then walks to the front of the classroom and holds her hand up. That's her "Shut-Up-and-Listen-to-Me" sign. The entire class quiets down in less than two seconds. No one wants to make her angry. She's made people cry before with her anger and amount of homework she gives for punishment.
"All right, guys. I'm only going to interrupt you for a minute. I have some reminders. Make sure you have picked a partner and a topic for the project. I will be asking about it tomorrow. School appropriate topics only please. Also, remember your guided readings are due on Friday. Numbers five through nine. No late booklets will be accepted." She pauses. "Now, finish up. I want these done by tomorrow as well."
We all groan. Guided readings suck. Remember how I said our summer assignments were awful? Well, that's what it was. Fifteen guiding readings. Fifteen. And then there was the water testing. That was actually really fun.
I said Kyler and I had Spanish 1 together. I remember the day we both found out we had AP Biology together.
I had just picked up my AP Biology textbook and guided readings booklet, which, by the way, they both weigh about the weight of a small child. I started one of the guided readings in Spanish. Before you go crazy on me, I had a 102% in Spanish and we were presenting family projects. Also, we were on an exam schedule, meaning we were in that class for three hours. But that's beside the point. Kyler was seated right across from me in that class. He was watching the projects, but I assume he got bored. I mean, can you blame him?
Anyway, he looked over at the child sized book. He whispered, "You got the textbook and stuff, huh?"
I smirked and said, "Obviously. It weighs as much as a kid."
He glared at me playfully. He took the lab book from me and took his own out of his backpack. He began copying it.
Oh, come on man. Not today. I thought.
I tapped his shoulder. "Can't you do these on your own?"
"Yeah, when hell freezes over," He said. "You're done with one already!? When did you start it!?"
"An hour ago," I said, quite confidently.
He shakes his head at me and gives me this look.
To this day, I only have one way to describe the look. It is the look hope gives your failures. Maybe I read into it too much, but everyday since then, I examined that look at night as I stared at the ceiling contemplating the meaning of life. That is the best way I can describe it.
He then said, "You're so screwed up, but I like you."
I smile at that thought.
"Claire," a voice says.
I'm slightly aware someone spoke to me, but I like the daze I'm in.
"Dammit, St. Cloud," the voice says.
I realize it's Kyler. I wake back up and answer him. "Yes?"
"You just totally zoned. What was going on in that head of yours?"
Well. This will be fun. I could tell him what was really going on. But that sounds stupid. But what if I did? What if he does feel the same way about me? What if...
Ah. Screw it.
"Um, math," I lie. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The angel on my shoulder is already biting my head off.
"You smile that way about math?" He looks at me like I have three heads. "You, St. Cloud, are too far gone."
I should have come up with a better lie than that. You're Claire Skylar St. Cloud, the queen of school. Teachers love you. Your parents love you. Your big brother loves you. No wonder you're so far gone. You're too pathetic. I am way too far gone. Kyler is correct.
"I'm aware that I am pathetic, thank you." I say.
"Now that, I did not say. I said that you're too far gone, which, admit it, isn't wrong."
Blah, blah. blah. He's just trying to make me feel better. That never hurts.
"Fine. I see your point, but I'm not that crazy you know."
"I'm totally aware of that."
Abby comes back over to our group. She smacks Kyler in the arm.
"Hey, what the hell, Abby!?" He exclaims.
"You lied to me! I went over there and myself look like an idiot. He had no idea what I was talking about! He then decided it was a good idea and asked. I said yes." She says, extremely boastful.
"Then why did you smack me?" He asks.
"It's rude to lie." She says.
Yeah. I think. You're telling me.

We all get back to our lab reports. I'm rewriting it to get a higher grade and Abby is doing it because she failed. Kyler is doodling in his notebook. Occasionally, he shows me what he drew. There was a dragon, a cat, and a decent sketch of me.
It was a picture of me tucking my hair behind my ear. My eyes are serious as I look down at my paper, but my left hand is tucking my hair as my pencil pauses. I have a small smile, as if I'm proud of what I am writing. He doesn't get my nose quite right...but it's the thought that counts.
The bell rings.
I pack up my stuff and am about to take off the sweatshirt when Kyler stops me.
"Hang on to it for me. Coming to the game on Friday?" He asks.
"Probably." I say.
"Good." He says. "We need all the support we can get. We suck."
I laugh. "Just a tad,"
We come to my advance English class.
"I just walked you to class and I have to go across campus. Damn," he groans.
"Sorry. You're going to be tardy."
"Eh," he shrugs. "I'll make it."
I blink and as if by magic, he's gone the next second. And I'm left standing in the hallway in his sweatshirt and a breeze scented of Axe and gum.

The late bell rings the next second. I'm still standing there as the few people scramble like lab rats that just ate sugar cubes to their classes.
When the hallway clears completely, I see Kyler leaning on the wall next to the stair case.
I raise my eye brow. "Don't you have a class to be in?"
"Don't you?" he retorts.
"Touche," I say. "Why are you still here?"
"I have a car." He says simply.
"Yeah. I know. A blue Audi," I say, remembering when he pointed out his expensive little sports car to me.
"Wanna blow this popsicle stand?" He asks, his voice surprisingly loud.
"Shut up! You want the administration to hear us? We'll get busted for ditching class." I say, shocked.
"You don't live on the badass side, do you St. Cloud?" He laughs.
"I'm a nerd in AP classes, Kyler. I'm on the debate team and Model UN. I have a perfect 4.0 GPA. Do I sound like a badass?"
He grabs my arm. "All right, kid. You're going to hang out with me for the next few hours." He pulls me out the door to the building and we start walking out toward the student parking lot.

My mind goes out of whack. I'm ditching school. I'm ditching school with Kyler. I'm going to who knows where. But with Kyler. I have never done anything against the rules before. This is crazy. I shouldn't be doing this.
"Most dauntless thing you've ever done?" Kyler asks, interrupting my thought process.
I can think of absolutely nothing. I do nothing on the wild side. I do what is asked and what is expected of me. I don't even get time for myself with my advance classes I take.
Wow. My life is pathetic. I think.
"I skipped out on my homework once when Chris went to the hospital for a broken hand..." I say nervously.
"God, I have my work cut out for me. You're so screwed up, but I like you." He says as he smiles.
"Can I ask where we're going?" I ask.
"Nope," he says as he unlocks the car.
Ugh. "Why not?"
"Do you trust me?" he asks.
I hesitate. I mean, the guys is about to break at least ten school rules. And I'm along for the ride? I could be in English right now, reading about a futuristic society without books, but instead I'm here. About to go into the unknown depths of badass-hood.
"Do you trust me?" he repeats.
I think about what Bella would say in this situation. She'd look at me like I was an idiot for thinking about getting kicked out of school and she'd say, "Just say yes,"
Just say yes...
Just say...
Just...
"Yes,"
He turns the keys in the ignition and backs up. We're out of the school parking lot in less than a minute. He rolls his window down and blasts music from his speakers when we get on the highway.
"Where are we going?" I ask again.
He laughs and says, "We're going absolutely mad, St. Cloud."