She Was Here

There were times when I wanted to crawl up into a ball, sink down into my cold sheets and watch movies all day and all night.
This was one of those times.
The lights were screaming, bright and irritating, forcing me to blink three times as much as I normally do. Lunch was the worst time of day, especially with a raging headache like I had.
I grabbed a tray and had the lady behind the counter fill it with all the gross but delicious food that I knew I wasn't going to eat, and I headed to the table.
Anthony greeted me as I sat down, "How's the hangover?"
I put my sunglasses back on, and slumped into my seat, "It's amazing, thanks."
"If you keep going like this at this rate, you're going to be dead by the end of the school year." Ellie told me from across the table.
I unwrapped my chicken patty and took a small nibble. My stomach lurched and I struggled to swallow, so I kept chewing, "Maybe that's the plan, Ellie. There's a plan for everything, you know."
"And you choose to die?"
I saw Christine staring at me from across the table. "She's just going through a hard time, guys. She got dumped. Leave her alone."
The whole table glared at her, "I thought we weren't going to mention it?!" Anthony hissed.
"Guys, it's fine." I said, finally swallowing my patty. "It happens to everyone at some point."
There was a few moments of silence.
"But you two were so happy! I don't understand what happened!" Ellie cried, coming over to me to rub my back.
The thought about what happened between me and Jurnee made me gag. I didn't want to think about it. Knowing that it was all my fault was bad enough.
"Does anybody have Advil?"
There were magically two Advil in front of my face, and swallowed them down with a brief swig from the water bottle.
I was tired. I was tired and completely worn-down from last night, and I was thankful my best friends were here to help me through it.
I saw someone else, sitting next to Anthony Adams, who hadn't said a word to me since I sat down. He was talking to the girl.
Peering through my sunglasses I saw a figure but I couldn't quite place who or what, and I wasn't about to take them off. My stomach lurched and bubbled again.
"So, are you a lesbian?" A girl asked.
The figure behind my sunglasses.
"Uh…yeah." I said. "Are you?"
She giggled, "Yes, I am."
I took off my sunglasses, and there she was. A girl who held mystery and heartache and things that no one should feel behind her dark brown eyes and almost perfect smile.
"Cool." I said.
She nodded, taking a bit of her Veggy burger, which threw me over the edge.
I grabbed my bag, put my sunglasses on and told Ellie and Ant that I would see them in class.
I rushed, I promise you that I rushed. But sometimes rushing doesn't work.
I spewed a gross thick mucus all over the hallway, and collapsed on my hands and knees. A freshman girl came out of the bathroom and stepped in it, squealed and covered her mouth. My head was screaming.
"Please, go!" I cried.
Tears escaped my eyes before I could help myself. I was kneeling in my own puke, crying.
I felt two hands cradle me and pick me up off the floor. "Come on, buddy, let's get you outta here."
My best friend Bonnie had come to my rescue. We had been best friends through everything in our lives, and this is one of the reasons why I loved her; she never judged me.

After arriving at the nurse, and explaining the situation with hints of white lies, I got to lay down in the back room with the lights off and an ice pack on my forehead, sucking on a jolly rancher. I didn't like being alone with my thoughts, and the tears were about to come slowly again.
Jurnee's did hit her.
She called me last night crying like a sweetly hurt little girl who didn't know what to do, and told me. And when she told me, she broke up with me. Not because she had to, but if she didn't her dad would come after me, too. She was sorry, she said. Her dad was blocking my number the next day…
I couldn't talk to her anymore, and I couldn't make sure she was okay. I was completely disgusted and angered that her father could hurt her because he found out about us. All I ever wanted to do was make her happy, and now she was bruising and upset because of me.
The lights flickered on, and my headache roared.
"Oh, sorry. I thought the nurse said the phone was back here." The girl from lunch said. I didn't want to move, or talk. And I didn't want to ruin what she just said.
"It's okay."
She walked over to me, so sure of herself. The way she carried herself made me in awe. "I've been looking for you." She said, sitting next to me.
I forgot to breathe, "You did?" I said, mid-coughing fit.
She nodded slowly, locking her eyes onto mine.
"You're adorable." She said.
She reached into her pockets and pulled out a hand-made paper envelope, and handed it to me. She let her touch linger on my finger-tips.
"Here."
And she smiled at me, and left the room, turning the lights off again.

I opened the note, using the light from my phone to eliminate it:
She wasn't worth it if she hurt someone as beautiful as you.
Her number was etched underneath the sentence.
And that was it.
Something inside of me lit on fire, the way my stomach does when the alcohol slides down my throat, a warm familiar sensation. I needed to know her just like I needed the alcohol; because that's what alcoholics do.
My blood pulsed through my veins and my finger-tips burned.
I've never felt worse in my life.
But she would change that.