She Was Here

Flashback:

I met Jurnee over the summer. Her skin cover was light tan, and her body was curvy and beautiful. Everything about her was sweet. We played softball together, competitively.
I met her through my friend Lindsey, and from there, we talked every day.
I liked her. A lot. We dated for three months.
I went to her house one day, and we spent the day in her room.
Her door was closed, but not all the way. I will never forget that.
I was sitting on her bed, her music blaring, and she came over to me.
She placed her hands on my hips, leaned in, and kissed me.
Those were the best kisses of our life.
"Ew," a voice says.
She whips around, and I look sharply. Her little brother with special needs is standing in the hallway, peeking into the door.
"JT!" She says, and drags him into the room with us, closing the door.
Her eyes wild, crazy, and scared.
I don't think I can move.
"You saw nothing, got it?" She says.
He looked from me to her, "No," he says quite clearly, "I saw you kiss a girl. I saw you kiss Lance."
She looks at me, her eyes filled with worry.
I had to admit, I was worried too.
"JT, please, just forget what you saw. It was a mistake. Lance kissed me."
JT looked at me, very angry. "I won't tell, but don't be mean to my sister!"
JT opened the door and left, and Jurnee closed it behind him.
She turned herself around and walked toward me, her eyes full of tears.
"Jurn, relax," I said. I hadn't drank in two days.
She shook her head, taking my face in her hands, "I'm so scare they're going to find out."
I shook my hand, twining my arms around her waist, "They won't."
I kissed her fingertips.
"What if they do? They'll take you away from me…" She trailed off, a tear slipped down her cheek.
I wiped it away, smiling at her. "I won't let them take you away from me."
And I kissed her for what would be the last time.

I hadn't talked to her in two days. She wasn't responding to my texts.
I fell asleep on the couch after having a lot to drink that night with Bonnie. I had gotten a ride home, I wasn't stupid enough to drink and drive.
My phone rang so loudly it scared me. I checked the clock under the TV. It read 3:35am.
Jurnee's name begged me to answer.
I hurried.
"Jurnee?"
I could hear her heavy breathing through the phone.
"Lance…" She cried.
She started sobbing.
I left the living room and moved into the garage. "Babe what's going on? Are you okay?"
"Lance I am so sorry…"
My hands started shaking. "What do you mean?"
"I am so sorry… I can never forgive myself…"
"Jurn, if you cheated it's fine. We can work through this okay? I'm not going anywhere."
She sobbed fora minutes. "They're blocking your number tomorrow morning. They're taking you away from me. My dad… He flipped out. He was screaming at me about being gay and he hit me… How am I supposed to be without you? How am I supposed to be in this house?" She cried.
My eyes watered.
Her dad hurt her because of me.
Because I was her girlfriend.
Because she was gay.
"Baby, I won't let them take you away from me. We can figure this out okay?"
I could hear her doubt through the phone. "No, we can't. Just stop. It's over. Stop being nice. I can't do this… They're making me break up with you."
"Jurnee, please don't do this…" I wanted to scream through the phone.
"I'm sorry… I loved you for a while. I guess now is the time to let you know, so maybe this can be a bit easier for you."
The line went dead.
I stood in my garage, crying, unbelieving of what I just heard.
I went to the pantry and unlocked the alcohol cabinet, took a handle of Jack Daniels into the living room, and finished it before I went to sleep.
I woke up. I went to school that day.
And just when I was feeling the lowest, Ashlee found me.

Now:

The next day I had a baseball game. It was against White Hills, the rivals of ours second next to Shawn Allen High, and it was home. A big game for me, starting point for that game, all I had to do was get through my classes and then change into my shorts for the game. I had my head in the game all day.
Ashlee texted me throughout the day, trying to get me to meet up with her.
I finally gave in. I needed to get away from her.
She was wearing a red shirt that showed off quite a bit of cleavage, which she was obviously proud of.
"Hey, cutie." She said, smiling.
I shook my head, "I know Adams didn't give you my schedule, or my phone number. You can stop playing innocent."
She look angry with defeat. "Well, fine. He didn't give it to me."
"I knew it." I said, trying to relax. I was so tense around her.
"I just needed to know you. Your personality, your physically so attractive. You have something about you that I just need to know." She places her hand on my shoulder and looked into my eyes.
I shook her off. "I came here to tell you that I can't play games. I need time for myself," I didn't understand why I wasn't telling her I didn't want her. I couldn't do it. I couldn't tell her straight up, so I lied. "I just want to know how you got my information, or how you figured out I'm on the basketball team? I didn't tell you, and neither did my friends."
She looked offended. "I have classes with Adams, and when you text him your picture shows up. About lunch, and I took your number while he was in the bathroom."
"And the schedule?"
She sighed and looked away. "I just know the class you have after lunch because you told Adams you were going there earlier in the day…"
I couldn't believe this. "You went through our messages??"
"Yes…"
"This is crazy. You're telling Adams."
"No!" She said, grabbing my arm. "Please don't make me tell him. I'll never do it again."
I sighed and looked at her. She looked serious. So I believed her. "Fine, but if I found out you do it again we're through."
She smiled slyly, "We have a thing?"
I shook her off, "No!"
She frowned and moved away from me. But now I didn't want her to go away. I wanted her near me. She reminded me of Jurnee, wanting to be with me and near me. Maybe she would help me get over Jurnee… Maybe I could explain everything to her.
"I mean, you're cool. But, I just got out of a relationship. And I know nothing about you."
She nodded. "I like to keep it a mystery."
"Well," I said, scanning the hallway, "mysteries aren't cool."
She smiled at me but I saw something else in her eyes, something dark, "I'll tell you everything if you agree to let me come to your game and be yourself personal cheerleader tonight?"
I thought about it. It would be nice to have her cheering for me. I ignored the darkness, "It would be nice to have a cheerleader i guess."
She hugged me, the same way as before, hugging me too tight and I couldn't breathe.
"I'll see you tonight." And she winked, and left.

The game was crazy. After our half-time meeting, I went to talk to Bonnie, the team score keeper for our school.
"Doing great out there bro, proud of you."
I smiled, getting a drink from the cooler of water, "Thanks man. I like the way you write those numbers."
She laughed, "I write them sexily for you."
I laughed.
Bonnie's face changed. "What the fuck is she doing here?"
I turned and saw Ashlee making her way across the court towards me, blue gatorade in hand.
I turned to Bonnie, "She just showed up, man. Be nice? I don't want her here as much as you do."
The thought of lying to my best friend was scary and terrifying but I did it anyways. Ashlee made me feel like I needed her, and I've only known her for 4 days.
"Oh my god, you're doing amazing!" she said, laughing and hugging me.
I saw my parents eyeing my form across the court. I quickly got Ashlee off me and thanked her.
"I'm going to the bathroom, I'll be right back!"
"I'll come with you!" Ashlee says.
I shrug at Bonnie, who gives me a look.
I make my way down to the locker room to the bathroom and Ashlee is talking to me while I pee, which is weird. I come out and wash my hands and Ashlee is gone.
"Ashlee?" I ask.
No answer.
"Hello?"
I heard giggling.
I know where she is. I smile to myself, at the fact that she wants me to find her and the fact that I kinda want to.
Maybe I misjudged her, and then that made me felt bad.
I found her, in the corner between a row of lockers, the bench, and the wall. She was giggling and smiling at me.
I smiled and walked toward her.
She came up to me. "You found me."
And she shoved me, hard, and I slammed against the wall.
My head hurt, and I was shocked. I didn't have time to think about it though.
She pressed her lips to mine, hard and fast, hungry and wanting.
I tried to pull away, but she wouldn't let me. She had a hand on my neck pushing my face into hers.
I liked how she was hungry to have me, but it hurt. It felt so good but so wrong.
I didn't have time to breathe, I just kissed her back and tried to lose myself and forget the pain in my wrist and head and neck.
She pulled away, I don't know how long it was but she pulled away. She didn't giggle, she didn't laugh, and I felt her let go of me. Immediate relief was in my neck, head, and wrist where she grabbed me too hard.
By the time I opened my eyes, she wasn't there. I checked the whole locker room.
I went back up the court where my team was warming up, and she wasn't in the gym either.
Bonnie flagged me down, "You okay? You two were down there for awhile."
I didn't really know, "I'm fine," I told her.
"You're bleeding," she reached for my wrist.
I pulled away, whipped it on the inside of my jersey and tasted the blood in my mouth from her biting my lip so hard.
The rest of the game I was on fire, making all my shots, hoping she was watching.
She wasn't.
After the game I went to Bonnie's.
She didn't text or call me at all that night.
I felt so empty. I needed to contact her. How could she do that and leave without saying anything?
She was in my head.
An addiction.
And it was about to get a lot worse.