She Was Here

At school, I spent my day searching for her.
I waited for her text, and nothing came.
I went to the bathroom and finished a handle, just so I could feel something.
I texted her:

Where are you…

My phone buzzed immediately:

We need to talk.

I smiled to myself. She wanted to see me. I looked a my wrist, and washed off the dried blood from were her nails cut me when she grabbed me. I needed to see her.
I took a quick look in the mirror. My lip was swollen, my head hurt, and my neck has a bruise. It was at the base so my t-shirt covered it.
I made sure my hair was spiked enough, put the empty handle in the trash, and walked out of the bathroom.

Meet me in the stairwell.

And that's exactly where I went.
I burst through the doors in record time, and she was waiting for me.
I dropped my bag and made my way over to her.
"I've been thinking about you." I told her, smiling.
She wouldn't look at me.
I wasn't exactly sure what was going on.
"Talk to me, what's wrong?"
Her face twisted into anger, "Have you been drinking?"
I laughed, "You can't tell me you just now noticed."
Her face twisted further, "You're joking."
"It's not a big deal, it's just what I do."
She looked into my eyes. "I have a boyfriend."
My heart stopped beating.
"What?" I was hurt. She kissed me. She kissed me first.
She glared into my soul. "Yeah, I do. And he goes here. And now he's looking for you."
I tried to grab her hand, "What about what happened at my game?"
"I want you," she said. "Of course I want you… I just can't have you right now."
I kissed her cheek, making my way down her neck. "You can have me. We can sneak."
I didn't want to sneak around. I wanted to be a good kid and not be the other person. And that's what I was turning into. But I needed her like I needed blood in my body.
She laughed, slow, "That's an option, yes."
I brought my face to hers. "Good."
She brought her hand to my face, "Come over tonight. My mom won't be home, and I told Billy I'm busy."
I smiled, "I'll be there."
She kissed me, harder than before. My teeth hurt. But I needed her.
She pulled away. "I'll break up with Billy, I promise. I don't even want him."
I nodded, "I'll be waiting for the day that that happens."
"You can't tell anyone we're doing this, got it?" Her eyes turned hard.
I bit my swollen lip, and it hurt more than I thought.
"Got it."

I pulled up to her house that night, and sat in my car with the lights off for a minute.
I didn't know what I was doing here, but I knew that I needed to go inside and see her smiling at me. Billy didn't matter anymore; it was just us.
I made my way up the steps, and knocked on the door, but it opened before I could knock Ashlee opened it.
She was in a dress. A red dress that fit her body and made me look at her for a little bit.
"Hey, you."
I smiled. "Hey, I forgot to bring you flowers."
She laughed, "I don't need flowers. I just need you."
She took my hand and led me into the living room, where there were candles lit from the fireplace, all the way to dining room. The table was set and the lights were off, letting the candles light the room in a soft glow. Dinner was on the table.
"Wow," I said. Nobody had ever been so nice before.
I could feel her looking at me, "You like it?"
I looked around. I loved it, so I nodded.
She took my hand and led me to the table.
She served dinner and we ate, talked, and laughed.
She told me about her dad, and how he wasn't in the picture, and her mom who gets mad sometimes and throws things. How she basically takes care of herself. Her abusive boyfriends in the past, and abusive girlfriends, who made her do all sorts of drugs and abused her. It made my heart swell. I felt so bad that I wanted to wrap her in my arms and take care of her forever.
But I knew everything about her by the end of the night, and I knew Bonnie and I were wrong about her. She just wanted somebody to love her, and love back.
And the way she looked at me, that dark hint and sly smile made her mysterious and lovely.
And that was when she told me she loved me.
And I said it back.
I didn't mean it for real, but I did at the same time.
Now, there was no way out.