She Was Here

When I left Ashlee's house that night, I went to Bonnie's house to drink.
When I got there, Bonnie was completely sober.
"What's up man," I said, walking into her room.
She got up. "Outside. Now."
I turned around and followed her outside, kicking at the grass with my shoes.
I heard the door slam, and I didn't turn around.
"Why's your phone off?"
I looked at the grass in the dark.
"I know where you were Lance."
I felt hot and cold all at once. I had a great night with her earlier, and I didn't need it to be ruined.
Bonnie chuckled, "I just don't understand why you keep seeing her!"
"She's different than we thought, dude! We talk for hours tonight and she told me everything about herself and what happened with Adams and how she got my information. She's really cool." I turned around to face my best friend.
Bonnie just looked at me.
"I know you're trying to look out for me, but I'm fine. I don't need to be saved."
She laughed at me, "You may not see it, but I do. This isn't going anywhere good, but I guess you'll find out yourself."
My face got red. "Can we not do this tonight? I just wanna relax and drink, man."
She laughed, and turned her back on me. Headed to the stairs.
"Bars closed tonight," she said, and slammed the door behind her, leaving me in the dark.

I saw Ashlee and Billy sitting together at lunch a few days later. I guess she was right about having a boyfriend.
I walked past her table and she acted like I didn't exist. She even reached over and grabbed Billy's face, a lot softer than she had ever grabbed mine, and kissed him softly and passionately on the lips.
It was like a knife entered my heart, and twisted.
I didn't even want to know what Bonnie had to say to me, but I knew she was looking at me, and Ashlee kissing this grossly slimy bearded freak.
I made my way to the bathroom, took the new handle out of my bag, looked the door behind me and made myself comfortable on the floor.

I woke up on the bathroom floor, and my eyes were incredibly hazed. I couldn't see correctly for shit, and I was pretty sure that school was over and I was missing basketball practice. I checked my phone: 3:30.
I was fucked.
I put the handle in my bag, grabbed it, and used the counter to steady myself when I got up. The room swayed and tilted and I felt light as a feather. I couldn't really remember what happened at lunch today.
I went to the locker room, changed as quickly as I could, and made my way up the stairs.
"What do you think you're doing?" Ashlee snapped.
I turned around and almost fell on the stairs.
"Are you fucking kidding me?" She spat.
I smiled, "Well hello to you too." I said, but it came out in a weird string of words that made me laugh.
"You're seriously ignoring me?"
I laughed, "I am not."
She came up to me, "You're drunk."
I laughed again, because it was hilarious. "Yeah! Only a little bit!"
She grabbed my wrist, the one that hurt, "You're fucking stupid, Lance."
"That hurts, let go." I said. I winced, it hurt a lot more than I wanted it to.
"Not until you stop ignoring me. I don't deserve to be treated like shit."
I stared at her, blank. Then I remembered lunch. "I'm sorry. But I wasn't sucking face with a slimy boy named Dicky at lunch today." I laughed so hard I doubled over. I was hilarious!
Her hand connected with my face so hard I thought I was going to throw up.
It burned.
"Don't you ever mention his name again." She growled.
I smirked, "I think we're done here."
I pulled my wrist, hard, away from her. But she twisted her arm and I felt a sharp pain shoot up my entire arm, and something snapped.
I'm not sure if I felt it or I heard it but I wanted to scream.
She covered my mouth, "Shut up!"
Tears streamed down my face, and I was about to throw up.
"Go upstairs and show your coach. Don't you dare tell him what just happened."
I stared at her, crying.
"Are you stupid, did you hear me?" She was mad. Really mad.
I nodded, gagging.
"Now go."
She released me and left. Her dark angry eyes told me it was best not to tell.
I couldn't even look at my wrist.
I made my way, swaying and stumbling heavily up the stairs.
I got up there and threw up right before walking on to the court.
Coach Shawn came over, "Armstrong! What the hell happened to you!"
I kneeled on the floor away form my throw up, crying and the room was tilting.
"I fell…" I cried. "It hurts…"
He looked at my wrist, I watched all three versions of him look at my wrist.
"Oh my god…"
Coach Shawn told Becky to call my mom, and that I needed to go the hospital.
Everything was ruined. It was all over now.
"Please…" I begged him. "Don't take me to the hospital…"
He looked at me, his eyes filled with concern. He whispered, "The smell of your breath is wreaking with alcohol. You can tell me in the car."
And now I was royally fucked.

Becky sat beside me in the back seat of Coach Shawn's Jeep Wrangler. He had wrapped my wrist in a towel to soak up the blood. I rested my head against the window and watched as we zoomed past all the cars.
"You can talk any day now, Lance." He said.
"I fell down the stairs, Coach."
Becky was eyeing me, "Why were you drinking?"
I sighed.
"I had a bad day."
Coach Shawn sighed, "Drinking in school is the worst you could besides selling drugs, Lance. What the hell were you thinking?"
I shrugged to myself. "Just trying to get by."
"Well if you wanted to get suspended from the team possibly kicked off, congratulations."
I snapped my head up, but everything swayed harder. "What! No!"
"There's nothing I can do about it. You broke the law, the student handbook, basically any code you could. Coach Jay is calling Mr. Den and Mr. Porter tomorrow to discuss punishments.
My heart was going to explode.
I was the star of the team.
I was the role model.
And now I was the kid that fucked up their career, their academics, and everything.
My MOM was going to know!
Oh shit.
"Are you telling my mom?" I asked.
"We have to, you're a minor. She's going to get told by me in the E.R tonight because I know you're a great kid and she will be as shocked as I was…" He sounded really disappointed in me.
We pulled in, and I prayed to god that I survived the night.

I guess the bone snapped completely, because all they talked about while rushing me in was that they needed to fix it with bunch of stuff and a cast.
My blood alcohol content level was higher than what it was supposed to be, which started me on an IV tap and a bunch of other things that I didn't understand.
I saw my mom for about two seconds, and she looked so worried.
After everything was done and I was put on medications and stuff, which felt like forever and I didn't care for any of it, it was late and dark out and I had to stay the night.
Coach Shawn and my mom cam into my room to see me.
My mom didn't look worried anymore, she looked sick and mad all at once.
"I just wanted to see how you're feeling," Coach Shawn said. "I'll see you at some point tomorrow, I'll stop by your house to give you the results of your punishment. Stay safe," He said, and he shook hands with my mom and left.
"I honestly can't believe you, Lance." My mom said, "You have never broken the rules. And now you do? Now? In the middle of the season?"
I closed my eyes, nauseous. "Mom, please, can we do this later?"
"We're going to have to, you have two visitors." She said, and she walked out.
Bonnie walked in. "Broken wrist, huh?" She sat next to my bed, not mad anymore.
"So glad you're here…" I said. "This sucks."
"You're out for the rest of the season. It was really fucked up man, you have metal all up in there."
I sighed. "Of course I do."
She studied my face, "Did you really fall down the stairs?"
I looked at her. "Yeah, I really did. Is that hard to believe when I'm drunk?"
"Not really. But it's hard to believe when its the same wrist that was bleeding after you saw Ashlee, and your lip was swollen and bleeding too. And you have a bruise on the back of your neck as big as a softball."
"I know what happened, Bonnie."
She nodded and smiled sadly, "If you're trying to protect her, I'm telling you not to. I will seriously fuck her up. I don't get good feeling from her. That's all okay? I'm still your best friend."
I nodded, and then the room got cold.
"Oh my god, are you okay?!" Ashlee came around the corner and sat on the other side of my bed. "I heard you fell down the stairs you poor thing! Drinking isn't good for you, you know!"
She took my good hand and it made me smile. It made the wrist not hurt so bad.
The look in her eyes begged me to forgive her, and I knew she didn't mean to get so mad earlier. She didn't mean to hurt me so bad. She was just scared, that's all.
"Yeah, I'm clumsy when I'm drunk."
She looked from my to Bonnie, "I'm sure she would know."
Bonnie smiled sarcastically, "Yeah, I would actually."
"I'm just so happy that you're okay! I was so worried I came right over when I heard!" She said, turning her attention back to me.
I smiled at her, and her smile was filled with warmth and love.
It made my insides flip.
She has a rough life too, and I'm sure she didn't mean to get so rough with me.
"Lance is tough as fuck, right, man?"
I smiled at Bonnie, "You know it!"
Ashlee's facial expression changed, "I don't like the way you encourage her to drink so heavily."
Bonnie howled with laughter, "I don't encourage it at all, actually."
Ashlee glared at Bonnie, "I'm just saying it's not good for her and you encouraging it is making it worse."
Bonnie looked at me, "I think I could name a couple of things that aren't good for her."
Ashlee smiled, "I'm not going anywhere, sweetheart. So think again."
All I wanted to do was disappear.
Bonnie's eyes never left mine, and Ashlee ended up leaving.
But she wasn't going anywhere, she was right.