Make My Sun Shine
One
"I like this."
He says this in such a distant voice that I have to catch it just before it slips away entirely. I squint through my eyelashes to see him staring into the sun.
"I'm just sitting here, in an empty parking lot, with no one screaming at me, or taking pictures. No one to smother me." He sighs into the empty air and hops onto the hood of my car before he continues. "I'm almost angry that that's what's become normal. Being constantly bombarded and trying to constantly stay hidden. I'm thankful for it all, I am. I just..." I watch as he licks his lips, something he doesn't even notice he does every few minutes, and wait for him to keep speaking. "It's nice to be invisible sometimes."
I turn away from him before he can see the glare on my face. I don't want to voice any of my real thoughts, but my mouth is already ahead of the game. "No it's not."
He comes back to earth. "Huh?"
I stay with my back toward him. "No, it's not. Being invisible. I have dreamed about millions of people hanging on to my every word since I was a little girl." I try to make my words sound light, but they're heavy, falling and crashing with each syllable.
"You have to know it's not what it seems."
"Why don't you tell that to yourself?"
When the air stay quiet around us for longer than it should, I start to feel guilty and I start to crumble underneath the weight. I turn around. "I haven't mastered the art of being subtle about my jealousy." I give him a sheepish smile and nudge his knee with my arm. A lame attempt to make sure he's not upset with me.
He tears his eyes away from the big sun and smiles down at me sweetly and gently for a few long seconds. "There's nothing to be jealous of, love."
I want to yell at him and tell him that there's everything to be jealous of, but when he's looking at me with those stupidly bright green eyes and those mesmerizing laugh lines, I can't do anything except bat my eyelashes, stretch my lips into a thin small smile, and wait for him to tell me I'm pretty or something.
"It's beautiful to watch the sun set behind a pretty girl. Like something out of a movie." He says while he looks me in the eyes, but then they're drifting away again.
"You always have the sun in your eyes, Styles."
I climb onto the hood of my car to be next to him. We watch until the sun gets bigger and bigger until it eventually disappears behind a thin line. The lights in the parking lot beam down on us as we talk into dusk.
And while he's enjoying being invisible, I'm aching to be noticed.
He says this in such a distant voice that I have to catch it just before it slips away entirely. I squint through my eyelashes to see him staring into the sun.
"I'm just sitting here, in an empty parking lot, with no one screaming at me, or taking pictures. No one to smother me." He sighs into the empty air and hops onto the hood of my car before he continues. "I'm almost angry that that's what's become normal. Being constantly bombarded and trying to constantly stay hidden. I'm thankful for it all, I am. I just..." I watch as he licks his lips, something he doesn't even notice he does every few minutes, and wait for him to keep speaking. "It's nice to be invisible sometimes."
I turn away from him before he can see the glare on my face. I don't want to voice any of my real thoughts, but my mouth is already ahead of the game. "No it's not."
He comes back to earth. "Huh?"
I stay with my back toward him. "No, it's not. Being invisible. I have dreamed about millions of people hanging on to my every word since I was a little girl." I try to make my words sound light, but they're heavy, falling and crashing with each syllable.
"You have to know it's not what it seems."
"Why don't you tell that to yourself?"
When the air stay quiet around us for longer than it should, I start to feel guilty and I start to crumble underneath the weight. I turn around. "I haven't mastered the art of being subtle about my jealousy." I give him a sheepish smile and nudge his knee with my arm. A lame attempt to make sure he's not upset with me.
He tears his eyes away from the big sun and smiles down at me sweetly and gently for a few long seconds. "There's nothing to be jealous of, love."
I want to yell at him and tell him that there's everything to be jealous of, but when he's looking at me with those stupidly bright green eyes and those mesmerizing laugh lines, I can't do anything except bat my eyelashes, stretch my lips into a thin small smile, and wait for him to tell me I'm pretty or something.
"It's beautiful to watch the sun set behind a pretty girl. Like something out of a movie." He says while he looks me in the eyes, but then they're drifting away again.
"You always have the sun in your eyes, Styles."
I climb onto the hood of my car to be next to him. We watch until the sun gets bigger and bigger until it eventually disappears behind a thin line. The lights in the parking lot beam down on us as we talk into dusk.
And while he's enjoying being invisible, I'm aching to be noticed.