Tacenda

It was 11:02PM, I sat in my bathtub naked, it was filled up with warm water. I laid down and sunk myself underwater; all the memories came rushing back, the sleeping pills, the cuts and scars, the nightmares. I stayed under the surface for a minute and 12 seconds until I heard knocking on the door, I sat back up to reality.

“Alaska? Hello?” It was Zachary.

“Yeah, I’m here.”

“Alright, I was just checking if you were OK.”

You’re checking if I’m OK? I’m never OK and I never will be.

12:47AM and I’m all curled up in my white bed sheets. I wasn’t feeling like anything, I didn’t have an urge to cry nor had a want to fall asleep. I remembered about the boy who asked if I was OK today while I was locked up in the bathroom, who could he be? Unexpectedly, my phone lit up on the other side of the room, I got out of bed to go check and I had (1) new message, from an unknown number.

You’re beautiful, I hope you’re OK, x.

This had to be a joke. No one in my school would send me a message like this, even at 1AM. It’s all full of lies. I put my phone back and slid into bed. People can be so cruel.

*****************************

I’m stuck in here sitting in English class, with my teacher talking about Shakespeare’s Midsummer’s Night Dream. I honestly couldn’t care less about Shakespeare. I was watching people walk past the school through the window. The class door creaked open, I turned my head to see a slightly toned boy, who had tanned skin and black glossy hair, his eyes were a mixed shade of green and blue and he had a much defined jaw bone. He asked my teacher about something with his assignment; it seems he is a senior. His voice sounded very familiar from the other day, but it honestly couldn’t be him. He looked at me with a blank face and walked back out of the room.

It was halfway through lunch time and I was sitting at a table on the oval, not much people sit out here, so it is nice and quiet for my liking. I was listening to The Weeknd while eating my second apple. There were a bunch of seniors on tables near mine, I started to get paranoid and tried not to get their attention in case they came over to hurt me. And of course, the bad luck caught up to me.
Two girls and three boys came over and sat on the other side of the table, I just looked at them with a confused expression.

“You got what we want?” One of the girls asked.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Don’t play stupid,” The other girl stood up.

“I’m not…”

The girl came over to my side and grabbed me by my collar.

“Are you fucking stupid? We want some of your pills, you fucking freak!”

The other people at the table laughed, I didn’t say anything and then the girl who grabbed me, punched the right side of my face, giving me a black eye. I fell to the ground and they all walked off, laughing together.

“You’ll need another on the other eye for raccoons eyes, babe!” She shouted as they walked off.

I started to sob on the ground, why do I deserve this? I haven’t done anything wrong. I heard someone running across the grass towards me and they crouched down to my level.

“Please don’t hurt me!” I dragged myself away from them, “Please, I’m begging you!”

“I’m not going to hurt you!” They grabbed my arm and helped me up to the table.

I looked up and it was the senior boy from English class. He was inspecting my new black eye and then looked at me.

“Why did they do this to you?”

“You wouldn’t understand, I don’t need your help.”

“No, I can help you!”

“You’re lying!” I grabbed my bag and phone, and I tried to walk off but he grabbed my arm again.

“Don’t walk away from me!”

“You walked away from me first, remember?” I tugged his arm off and ran.