Just for a Moment

Winter vacation is finally over and I’m actually glad because this past week has been a little hard on me; having to share Lizzy and not talking to Jack. The deal was not to associate in person, but it’s really hard. I mean we text, but not for too long. Jack said that he wanted it to look believable. If it looked like we broke up and we were just fine with it, they’d know that something is up. I know it’s only been 8 days, but who knows how long this could go on for? What if he just decides to not get back together with me? I've been over-thinking the whole thing lately.

I sit up, clamping down on the ‘dismiss’ button on my alarm clock and stretch. I jump out of bed and hop over to the window. Looking out, I notice that the sky is cloudy, bound to pour rain sometime during the day. I head in to the bathroom to perform my daily routine then walk over to the closet. I pick out a simple outfit of a black knee-length skirt, white blouse, and red pantyhose. I shove my feet into a pair of plain black galoshes and quickly twist my hair into a loose braid then zip up my black rain coat.

When I get into the cafeteria I take my seat across from Lizzy and greet her and her new husband. It’s so weird, especially seeing that ring on her finger. I gave a double take at their hands and pick up a menu.

“So how are my favorite newlyweds this morning?”

“Aww; you really mean that Als?” Lizzy asks me with a sweet smile.

She’s so beautiful, even more so with that glow she’s had lately. I’m glad that she’s happy, at least one of us is. I nod and wave a waiter over, glancing at Jack from across the table. He looked tired, but content. Boy, he made it look so easy.

“We’re great, actually. Isn't that right baby?” Kellin kisses Lizzy’s temple, causing her to blush immensely. They are too cute. I look at those two and wish that I could be as happy as them.

“Cool. I guess I don’t have to give you guys a wedding gift since I wasn't invited. It’s only fair,” I smirk.

“No, we’d still appreciate one,” Kellin says shooting me a glare.

I roll my eyes as the waiter comes over and takes my order. As he walks away I sneak a glance at Jack again, who was already looking at me. I purse my lips and look over at Naomi’s table to find her making goo goo eyes at Reggie. I sigh and whip my head back forward, being overwhelmed by the couple activity. Lizzy places her hand on top of mine and gives me a sympathetic smile. I guess she could tell what I was thinking.

I ate my food quickly and quietly then rushed off to class. I took my seat and pulled my notebook and pen out, ready to take notes. Vic walks in and takes the seat beside me, dropping his bag to the floor. He has this absent look in his eyes, not even paying mind to anyone in the classroom. He takes his materials out and sighs, forms a small smile on his face, then turns to me.

“How are you, Ally?”

“Feeling just as lousy as you are,” I huff, propping my head up with my hand.

He scoffs, “I don’t think so.”

“Yeah, probably not, but I still feel like crap.”

“Welcome to the club; I haven’t had sleep in days,” he groans, putting his head down on the desk.

“You poor thing,” I say rubbing his back, “do you want to hang out today?”

“Sure I guess,” I barely hear him say, muffled by his arms.

He sits up as Mrs. Jones walks in, setting her bag on her desk. She immediately walks over to the board and writes ‘Class assignment: pair up and do research on a musician with the same profession as yours. You will write an in-class paper about this person and turn it in by the end of class’. Vic looks over at me and raises an eyebrow.

“I guess she’s having a bad day too,” I shrug.

By the time dinner time comes around, I can barely keep my eyes open. That paper that Vic and I wrote in music was harder than I thought it would be, our thought processes are very different. It was aggravating.

Dance and History class also drained me. In Dance we had to learn a new routine in order to audition for the flash mob that is going to perform in New York City. Yes, the Big Apple. It’s for The Grand Central’s centennial; I’m so excited to audition. Then for History we had to go to the library in order to take out books for our next big project. Yay.

I drag my feet over to my spot at the table, greeting Lizzy with a nod.

“You look exhausted,” she comments.

“I am,” I groan, laying my head on the table.

I close my eyes for a little bit, listening to the chatter around me. It starts to slowly fade into silence
and before I know it, I'm being tapped on my shoulder.

“Huh?” I bolt up looking around, but the cafeteria was empty. “What the-”

“Hey.”

I turn around and see Max. He wore a smile, reaching his hand out to me.

“What are you doing here?” I ask cautiously.

“What do you mean?” He laughs, “I've been waiting for you to wake up, you fell asleep during dinner. You didn't even get to finish telling me about dance class before you knocked out.”

I stared at him with confusion, wondering if this were a dream or not. It felt way too real.

“Where did everybody else go?” I look around again; that was what I managed to say.

“They left not too long ago. I just let you rest for a little bit because I knew how tired you were, but you should probably get to your room now.”

He grabbed my hand and pulled me up, wrapping his arm around me as we walked towards the dorm. A sudden calmness filled me as we approached my door. I slowly opened it and let myself in, turning back to him quickly. He stepped into my room, and it instantly turned into the woods that were behind the track field. This definitely had to be a dream. A devilish smile spread across his face as he stepped even closer to me.

“This place look familiar to you?” He waved his arm out, as if to display the area.

The scene flashed back a couple of times before I start to run away. Even though I keep on running, the scene stays the same, as if I’m stuck on treadmill with a green screen around me. After a while, I stop from getting tired and he pushes me down to the ground.

“What’s going on?” I crawl backwards, making sure to keep my eye on him.

“Ah, I’m just messing with your head,” he smiles. We suddenly flash to the night of the Winter Fest. He sighs dreamily and looks around the field. “I know this place brings back some memories, huh?”

“Stop that,” I choke.

“Stop what? I’m just reminiscing, that’s all,” he chuckles. “Oh look! That’s us over there,” he shouts, pointing over to a couple. It really was us. It looked so weird to be watching ourselves from someone else’s point of view. “Watch, this is my favorite part,” he whispers in my ear.

I gulp, “what is?”

“I just told you that I love you, and now you’re saying it back.”

I tense up as I watch the words slip out of my mouth from afar. I watched as our past selves intertwined themselves and seal the statement with a kiss. I start to tear up and look away, the feeling of that moment filling me.

“What’s wrong? Is it too much for you?” He tries to wrap his arms around me but I push him away.

“Stop it! Just leave me alone, will you?!” I start to walk away but he grabs my wrist and turns me around.

“No please, don’t leave me.” He frowns and pulls me in for a hug. I struggle but after a while give up and give in to my past feelings. I wrap my arms around him and bite my lip as my eyes give way to the tears.

“I missed you so much Max, how could you do this to me?” I pull away to look at him, just to see the face of Jack.

“Max? I’m not Max! I thought you were over him Ally, why would you lie to me like that? I love you!” He pushes away with a disgusted face. “I knew it, I couldn't trust you. I knew I would just end up hurt.”

“No Jack, I just-I don’t-I’m sorry!” I try to reason with him, but my attempt fails.

What could I say to make up for that? Nothing. I’m not even sure if this is what I actually feel, but this nightmare has got to end. I don’t love Max, I love Jack.

“Sorry isn't enough,” he says, barely audible.

Even though this isn't real, it still stings as if it was. I march up to him and grab his arm, roughly tugging him and pulling him in for a kiss. When we part I close my eyes and smile. He leans close to my ear and chuckles lightly.

“That’s just what I needed. I hope you enjoy the letter you get tonight.”

My eyes fly open and I find myself in Menu’s - the exact spot that I was sitting at before I fell asleep. I breathe heavily as I look around, checking whether this was still a dream or not.

“Ally, what’s wrong?” Lizzy looked concerned as she asked me.

“Did I fall asleep?” I ask, rubbing my eyes.

“Yeah, but you were only out for a couple of minutes. I didn't want to wake you just yet, so you could at least get some sort of rest.” She frowns, “What happened? Did you have a bad dream?”

“Yes,” I sigh, “yes I did.”

I rub my temples and pick up the menu as hunger really sets in. I guess I did get somewhat of a burst of energy from that power nap, but it would've been better without that nightmare.

“Care to share?” Kellin pipes up.

“Not with you, no. I don’t mean to sound rude either, but I only want to talk to my sister about it for now.” I place my menu back down on the table. He turns to Lizzy and whispers something in her ear, looks at me, then turns back to her.

“That’s a good idea,” Lizzy thinks aloud. “Ally,” she smiles, directing her attention towards me, “I’ll sleep in your room tonight, and you can vent to me about anything feelings you've had these past few months that you haven’t been about to talk about. That should do you some good.”

“That sounds good,” I straighten up in my seat, starting to cheer up. “Thanks Kelly.”

“No problem, Alan,” he winks at me as he picks at his dinner roll.

After dinner, I wait at the entrance of the cafeteria for Lizzy. I wanted to chat with Naomi as I waited for Lizzy to say goodnight to Kellin, but she was too busy being all cutesy with Reggie to notice me. She looked so entranced by him; it was adorable and annoying at the same time. Lizzy approached me with a big smile and grabbed my hand, then led me to the dorm building. When we got to my room, she looked at her old door as I fished my keys out of my pocket.

“I wonder who is going to get my old room,” she says thoughtfully.

“Whoever it is, I hope they’re as good a neighbor as you were.”

“No way,” she scoffs, “I’m the best and you know it.”

I stick my tongue out at her and turn the knob of my door, letting us in. As soon as I turn the light on I notice an envelope on the floor. I try to ignore it as I walk past it, but Lizzy picks it up and tears it open.

“If this is Max I swear I’m going to-”

“Going to do what, Lizzy?” I ask hopelessly. I plop down onto my bed as she stares at me with a raised eyebrow. “There’s nothing we can do about him, Liz. We can’t report him to the authorities because he’s already on bail and to be honest, I read those letters for a reason. I want to know what happens next. What he finds out about me, what action he’s going to take; it would make me too nervous if I just tore those letters up. It’s sad really; I’m anxious throughout the day just to see what he says next, how much closer he is to getting a hold of me.” I sigh, “He’s a lost cause.”

“No sister of mine is going to walk around paranoid just because her ex is a psycho,” Lizzy says, sitting beside me. “Even if I can’t do anything to prevent him from sending these letters, I can at least make sure that you’re sane at the end of the day.”

“Thanks,” I smile weakly, “I appreciate it.”

I grab the letter from her hands and unfold it. She bites her lip and stares me with anticipation, expecting the worse probably. I give her a look before I start to read it, hoping that she would calm down.

Ally,

I wanted to let you know that I’m thinking about you and I can’t wait to see you again. Until that precious day, I hope you’re wearing my necklace nice and proud; just in case you've forgotten which guy you really belong to.

P.s. Just a heads up; you’re in for a big surprise pretty soon ;)

XX

I gulp and hand the letter to her as I get up and start to pace the room. I think of any possible threat he may be sending my way: maybe another strike caused by Tally? An unexpected package of photographs that he may have secretly taken of me? What if he plans to get Jack jumped again? I don’t know. I really shouldn't be worrying about this, it’s the last thing I want on my mind for the next few weeks of school; I need to focus if I want to get bumped up in the top five for music.
Lizzy rips up the letter and drops it into my waste bin, turning to face me.

“Maybe we can watch a movie to get your mind off of things,” she says, giving me an easy smile.

“For now at least,” I mumble, “then it’s back to reality.”