Just for a Moment

Ah, spring break, a brilliant week in April where we can all relax before finals and tons of projects in May. A pity break, I like to call it. I am so happy when I look at the calendar and see that it’s the fourth of the month. Last day of class before Roxy, Brendon, Ally, Jack, Vic, Tony, Jesse, Jaime, Mike, Emily, Naomi, Rick, Kellin and I head out on a road trip for a dream vacation at Disney World. I was so thrilled to be going to Disney World. Ally and I have never been and have always day dreamed of going. Even though we aren’t on the best of terms I hope this trip will change that. That once and for all Ally and I can fix things. She has matured, so maybe things will be different.

I mean after that night that her and Jack broke up we are doing better but…I just feel like I am not connected to her. Like I love her but somehow the bond between us was severed, my heart aches just with just the thought of it. I don't really know how to explain why. Maybe it was because one second she was so unhappy about the wedding and then it was like it didn’t matter because what happened with Jack. I wondered if it ever really matters to her or she was just upset that Jack was there and she wasn’t. Of course, I am also constantly afraid of what will make her unhappy with me next. I never really explained to her why Roxy came instead of her. I gave her some lame excuse and she just accepted it, no prying. The real reason I picked Roxy was because I never doubted her support in me. I wish I could have explained that Roxy was there for Kellin and I over the summer when Ally just up and left. Roxy made sure that we weren’t pursuing this for all the wrong reasons. She made sure that I wasn’t doing something stupid to get over my heart break. That very heart break Ally left me in.

I started to feel hurt but it felt so foolish to dwell on. Ally and I just can’t seem to get this right. No matter what we try, we always seem to hurt each other. Is that how all sisters feel or is there something wrong with us? I feel tears threaten to overtake me. Of course the pain is only momentary when I remember that tomorrow I am going to the happiest place on earth. I can feel the excitement pumping adrenaline through my veins and chasing away the bad feeling. I can’t wait! I kick my feet up and down, making the sheets move everywhere which causes me to giggle way too loudly, thus waking Kellin up. Since its six in the morning, he is not a very happy camper. He groans and pulls me into his body. He takes a deep breath and sighs against the skin of my neck.

“Your excitement about tomorrow has cost me so much sleep this past week.” He mumbles into my hair which is bunched around his face.

I squeal, “I just can’t wait. I am so excited for you and me, and a bunch of our closest friends to be crammed into two vans and then spending eight whole days in Disney World. I only wish the whole group could have made it.”

He laughs, it’s has an adorable edge of morning scratchiness to it. “Well sweetheart, they are going to see their families so maybe next year. It's a good thing we are all packed for tomorrow, one less reason to for us to break night.” I worry about taking pictures during the trip to myself. “Baby, we have like a million cameras coming with us on this trip.” He brushes his lips on my collar bone. “I made sure that everyone is bringing at least one. Plus we all have camera phones. I stressed that if there wasn’t a million pictures, you would probably think that the whole trip is a dream.”

“You are the best.” I kiss his closed eyelids. “I am so happy that you and Roxy planned this trip as a surprise for me. Too bad I know both of you way too well for you guy to keep it hidden for me for long.” I stick my tongue out at him. “I win.”

His tickles my stomach and I burst into laughter. I am extremely ticklish and no one but Kellin knows that. A fact, I might add, that he often uses to his own advantage especially when he wants to me to cave into his desires. This time he is doing it just because. I hit his arms as I giggle so hard that I can barely breathe. He laughs and presses his mouth onto mine. It doesn’t take long until we are kissing heavily and laughing lightly to each other about the change in pace.

I rush into my clothes, kind of jealous that Kellin has no class today because all the music teachers went on their vacations earlier in the week. I bite his arm hard and he flicks my shoulder before flipping over to go to sleep. The rest of the day was bogged down in a dim haze due to lack of sleep and a bad case of spring fever. It was the first really hot day we had had since last year. I gaze out one of the windows watching the warm sun rays wink at me through the glass wanting nothing more than for those rays to warm my skin. I was glad that since it was the last day even Johnny Depp didn’t seem that into teaching. He would drift in and out as he spoke about the importance of truly getting into character. I was glad that for afternoon class I had acrobats with Pink, I hoped the physical movement would wake me up some. Of course, it didn't, I ending up falling twice in class. I had to laugh at myself. I was happy that she ended afternoon sessions early, since all my other classes were cancelled. At three I happily ended my day ready to nap for two hours in my big comfy bed. Of course, I wouldn’t get to head to my room peacefully.

“Hey,” Jack calls out from behind me.

“Hey Jack.” I try my best to smile, but I see that he is holding hand with Tania from my drama class. “What is up?”

“Nothing much, I am really excited for tomorrow. I just wanted to check if Ally was still cool with me going. I know how she gets.”

I try to ignore the sadness in his voice. I look over at Tania to see if she noticed. She smiles at me showing her pearly whites and her naive confidence in their relationship. I wonder if she knows Jack still has the engagement ring he bought Ally in the top draw of his dresser in his room. (A Fact that Kellin shared with me.) I doubt it of course. I give her a quick once over. She is tall, model tall, with legs that seem to go for days. With her long ebony hair that flows and glistens when she moves like some kind of shampoo commercial. Her cat eyes are encased with thin curly lashes that are unable to conceal the exotic amber hue of irises even when she was looking down. She has such full pouty lips, and high cheekbones. I could even hear Ally’s insecurity and she doesn’t even know her. Tania's golden pale complexion flawless not a single mark on it. Like the girl never had one pimple in her whole life. It’s weird that we have class together and I never really took time to see how gorgeous she is. Plus, I know for a fact that she is smart, funny and super sweet. I couldn't hate her if I wanted to. No one can, she is just that type of girl. Even Roxy adores her, and that's a hard feat to master.

“No, she is fine.” I lie, “she is just happy to be heading to the place we always dreamed of going too.”

He breathes a fake sigh of relief, “oh that’s good. Well, I will see you bright and early tomorrow, or later tonight or whatever. We are leaving at four in the morning right?”

“Yeah we are.” I bite inside my lip, feeling awkward.

“See you then.” He walks away, whispering a joke into Tania’s as they walk away from me.

She giggles and kisses him on the cheek. I shuffle towards my room, wishing that I didn’t see them together. I don’t want to have to hide another thing from Ally, not when things already feel so strained between us to me. But what choice do I have? How can I tell her that the guy that she loves is with a girl who looks like she belongs on the cover of magazines? Or that he is with anyone for that matter? I plop myself on the grass in front of Menus. I have no idea how I ended up here but somehow I did. Thankfully I wasn’t the only one who wandered here, Jaime plops himself down next to me.

“What’s has you down lil’ bit?”

I rest my head on his shoulder, “I just saw Jack with Tania.”

He perks up, “You mean the model looks, sexy, sweet Tania?”

I pout at him, “yes, thanks for making it all better now.”

He laughs, “Sorry, if it makes you feel any better your sister is a mega hottie too.”

I hit him on his arm, “that doesn’t make me feel any better,” but I laugh which says otherwise.

“Can you blame the guy for moving on Liz? He proposed in the beginning of February and a little over a month later she still hadn't given him an answer. Jack took on extra shifts at his crap job and worked his butt off to afford that ring. You have to cut the guy some slack.”

“I am not mad at him Jaime. I am just upset because we are all going on that trip tomorrow and I was hoping it would be drama free. But with Ally, Jack, and Rick all on one trip, I seriously doubt it.” I huff and lean my head against the wall. “Why is it that life feels like a huge soap opera most of the time?”

“Because you’re a drama major? So you are doomed to attract some major drama.” He shrugs and gets up when Justin calls him over. “Don’t stress yourself Lizzy. That never does you any good.”

I wave him off and stay sitting there for a few more minutes on my own. I wonder how long it will take before Ally finds out about Jack and Tania. What if she finds out on the trip and causes a scene? What if. . . I stop myself. I realize that I really do stress myself way too much over this kind of stuff. Ally is a big girl, she is about to be nineteen years old. I can’t keep babying her and trying to protect her from everything, especially herself. I mean what good will that do her? She needs to know how to handle herself for when she is on her own. I get up, wipe the bottom of my jeans and head towards my room again. I yawn, I really could use some sleep. When I get to the room Kellin is gone, which I am not surprised about. Today is band practice day, since everyone gets out so early and we will be gone for so long. I text him to let him know that I won’t be there and I drift off into sleep.

I wake up to a pounding on my door and Roxy is standing on the other end with a huge grin on her face.

“Grab your husband and let’s go. I am getting married in an hour.”