Massacre.

My head rests against his shoulder while my eyes remain close. I can feel Reaper tapping his foot impatiently. A sigh escapes his lips every so often as we wait on a bench in the lobby of the head quarters. People walked to and fro around us, their shoes softly crossing the marble floor.

It feels like I'm filled with sand; my limps are heavy and ache. I can feel sweat gathering across my skin and even on my hands. My nose is congested, leaving me to breath through my mouth.

I feel like shit.

But I stubbornly declined all his offers of medication. I didn't want drugs to ease my symptoms, I wanted to be a child again. I wanted to sit in his lap and have him hold me protectively, keeping me safe from the world. I wanted him to feed me warm soup and share hot tea with me.

But now all I get is this.

To rest my head on his shoulder.

I was tired. . . so tired. The desire to sleep grows stronger by the minute but Reaper mentioned it was important that I stay awake. I don't why. . . I don't know why he didn't just leave me already. I know waiting around will make him late, and I know he hated not being punctual. In fact I'm surprised he hasn't left me already.

But I'm also glad that he hasn't left yet. I like sitting close with him, and leaning on him. Reaper is warm and comforting Reaper smells like fancy cologne and fabric softener; he smells like home.

I feel his tapping stop.

My eyes reluctantly open and I recognize someone is standing in front of us. Reaper quickly stands up from his place and says a few words to the person before he quickly walks away. My eyes follow his figure until he disappears down a hall way.

Just like that, he's gone.

"Massacre, how are you feeling?"

My attention turns to the person in front of me, eyes quickly taking in the tall, slender figure clothed in a suit and tie. His dark hair is combed perfectly, bangs out of his face, brown eyes watching me. But then I notice how pale and pasty his skin is, more so than before. The dark bags under his eyes have increased as well.

"I should ask you the same thing" I reply, looking at the man before me concerned.

Howell ignores my response though and presses his hand to my forehead.

"Massacre you ne-"

"I don't want to take medicine" I quickly interrupt. Howell furrows his eye brows.

"You have a high fever and you're sweating, I know you don't feel well" Howell says, his voice stern. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out two orange pills. I growl and snatch them from him. I swallow them quickly and glare at his looming figure.

Howell sighs, "Have you ate yet?"

My face softens and I shake my head in response. Howell steps back and looks up at ceiling. He closes his eyes and I can feel disappointment radiating off of him. I feel myself shrink again, the familiar weight pressing down on my chest.

I somehow resist the urge to curl into a ball.

"Why doesn't he- I mean you're his- come, Massacre" Howell instructs, and motions for me to follow him. I slowly get up and bunch my fingers into the back of his coat again. I keep my eyes closed, this feels like the party all over again.

When I was younger Reaper and Howell got along great, but lately I feel like Howell is angry at him. But, why? Because he's distant? But Howell is distant too now, he shouldn't be upset because he's doing the same thing.

I tuck myself into one of the corners of the elevator when I notice other beings are in there as well. They stare openly at Howell and I, but Howell just steps in front of me and gives them a curt nod. My grip on his coat tightens.

Why do they look at me like that?

Before I can ponder more elevator signifies we've made a stop and Howell is quick to pull me out. My sight is instantly filled with many talking and eating; a cafeteria stands before us.

"Are you feeling nauseous?" he asks as he guides me to the many options of food.

I just shrug my shoulders in response. Howell nods his head and I follow him as he pours soup into a container and then places a lid on it. He grabs an orange juice from the refrigerated section and heads towards the pay area. I just follow after him, dragging my feet.

After he pays we sit at able far from everyone else, tucked in the corner. The man places both of the items before me and then leans back in his seat. I watch his figure slouch, his tired face more prominent for a moment.

I quietly start to eat.

"I'm not sure how long Reaper will take. But I'm assuming quite some time, the case they've asked him to give opinions on is really big and complex" he states. I shrug my shoulders.

"How have you been, Massacre?" This time Howell leans forward and his face softens.

I scoff in response though.

"Sick" I say, smiling and motioning to the soup he gave me.

Howell cracks a smile too and shakes his head at me but his face gets serious again.

"Aside from that though, how has it been with you and Reaper?"

Why does it matter to him. I scowl.

"Okay? The same?" I ask. But he doesn't seem convinced, especially when my voice cracks at the end. And I don't know what comes over me, but something does.

"Am I a freak, Howell? Is being human, is being me a crime now?" I ask, my eyes darting to all the other occupants in the room, some eyeing me warily.

Before he gets a chance to ask, I start talking again.

"Why do they do that? Why does everyone look at me, like I don't belong here. My friends don't talk to me anymore and everyone avoids me like the plague, fuck even Reaper hardly pays attention to me anymore. What did I do wrong?" I whimper at the end, my head resting against the surface of the table. I push the food away and close my eyes.

Howell's fingers start to comb through my hair.

Where did those words come from?

"Massacre. . . " he trails off. His hand pulls away and he moves his eat beside me. He brings back the food to me and I sit up and start to eat again.

He didn't tell me why.

But what did I really expect. No one tells me anything anymore, no one cares anymore.

I just finish my meal and sulk and wait for the day to end. I obediently follow Howell back to the lobby, and when we get back to the bench I rest my head in his lap and curl up. I keep my eyes shut and try to drown out the rest of the world.

I just wait for Reaper to come back.