I'm Raw and Invincible

Joel hasn’t heard from John since the party and he’s extremely worried about him. Joel’s asked around to see if anyone has heard from him or at least seen him around but no one has and it only took a matter of seconds
for Joel to decide to go see John at his apartment. When he got there he decided to just go inside and didn’t bother knocking, he had a feeling John wouldn’t answer anyway. The first thing he noticed when he walked into
John’s apartment was the stench of it all. It reeked of mildew, b.o, booze, and puke all mixed into one horrible smell. Joel had to cover his mouth with his hand for a moment to try not to puke himself. He made his way from
the living room into the kitchen to see beer and liquor bottles over flowing the trash can and the sink as well. Joel then walked back into the living room and towards John's room, glancing inside and not seeing him there
he walked to the bathroom to see John laying unconscious on the floor. Joel cursed under his breath and knelt beside him checking his pulse quickly as he pulled out his phone to call 911.

As Joel waited for the ambulance to arrive he held one of John's hands in his and said a prayer. Next Joel called John’s mother and told her what was happening and would notify her when he knew what hospital they were going to and what was wrong with John. Thankfully Joel didn’t have to wait that long and in just five more minutes two EMT’s were rushing into John’s apartment and calling out to him. Joel was pushed away and watched in horror as they started pumping John’s stomach and started putting some iv’s into his arm and loading him onto the stretcher. Joel joined them in the ambulance and stayed silent trying his hardest not to worry that his friend could possibly be dying in front of his eyes. After what seemed like hours the ambulance arrived at the hospital and the doctors were rushing John in and telling Joel to sit in the waiting room. Joel texted John’s mother, not having the heart to actually talk to her, and told her what hospital they were at. He figured he should tell the band but he wasn’t sure if John would want all those people around when he woke up so he decided to wait and text them when John decided what he wanted. When John’s mother finally arrived Joel did his best to console her which wasn’t much, all he could really do was hold her hand and pray with her.

Eventually a doctor walked out and informed them that they had to pump John’s stomach, perform a blood transfusion as well as give him lots of nutrients. The doctor also informed them that John is on a fast track to having liver failure. It scared his mom into another sobbing fit but Joel just stood there and wrapped her in a hug, not knowing what to say, and being terrified for his best friend. Eventually they were able to visit him, Joel standing back and allowing his mom time to be with her son before he stepped forward and stuck his hands in his pockets.

“You really scared me there.”

John looked ashamed and terrified, “I’m sorry, I never meant to scare you.”

Joel shrugged, “I know. Just don’t do it again, okay? You could really hurt yourself if you keep doing this.”

John looked down at his hands, “I know.”

“Do you want me to tell the guys?”

“Please?”

“Okay, I’ll go call them. Listen to your mother.”

John smiled faintly and nodded, “Thank you again.”

“You’re welcome.”

-

John was released a few days later with a steadfast warning to stop drinking all together or slow down considerably. After what happened and having his mother breathing down his back while at the hospital he didn’t want to see any type of alcohol or he was sure he would throw up just from the thought of having to have his stomach pumped again. Much to his mom’s protests he managed to convince her to allow him to go home by himself and promised he would call if he needed anything. When he got home he took a long shower and decided to be productive and clean his apartment. He poured out all of his beer and liquor first so he wouldn’t have any and worked his way from room to room. By the time he was done it was close to ten so he decided to watch some movies but the free time wasn’t helping his mood at all. He was feeling more and more depressed and he wanted a drink more than ever. He knew he couldn’t and ultimately he didn’t want to drink but he never had to face his emotions like this and he wanted to do better for himself and for his family and friends.

John couldn’t sit still so he ended up walking around his apartment, thinking about his father and the last few years. As each minute passed he was feeling lower and lower until he didn’t think he could be alone anymore, he was afraid of what he would do. John decided to give Joel a call, not wanting to worry his mother any further. Thankfully Joel wasn’t busy and agreed to go over right away. Joel showed up in less than fifteen minutes to find John lying in his bed just staring at the wall.

“John?”

“How did I end up here Joel?”

Joel sat on the chair by the piano, “What do you mean?”

“I mean a drunk.”

Joel sighed, “I don’t know man. When do you think it happened?”

John sighed and shrugged, “I’m not sure. I don’t think anything really happened to make me keep drinking.”

“Are you sure?”

“No, I’m not.”

“All of a sudden I was just so sad and I couldn’t stand that. I’ve got the life, ya know? I’m in a great band, I’ve got the best friends, I tour the world, I help kids all over the place. I shouldn’t be sad but I am and I hate that.”

“Just because you have a life you’ve always wanted doesn’t mean you won’t get sad.”

“I have no reason to be sad though.”

“That’s not true, John.”

“So are you saying I should be sad all the time?”

Joel took a deep breath, “What I’m saying is that you don’t need a reason to be sad and even if you did need a reason you’ve been going through a lot and it’s only natural to be sad every once in a while.”

“I just don’t know Joel; I don’t know how any of this happened. I don’t know how I turned into such a sad person to make me turn into a drunk.”

“I can’t answer that for you. You just have to dig deep and figure it out.”

John groaned, “I don’t want to dig deep, that’s where the demons lie.”

“And to get over this and to get better you have to face those demons.”