Stay

Johnny's bar was loud with rock music and filled with an assortment of people. Grace looked comfortable at her place behind the bar, as if she belonged. She had ditched her pastel day dress for a pair of ripped jeans, a studded belt, and a black shirt with the bar logo sprawled across the front. Change suited her well. It almost made me want to smile.

"Eden!" Johnny exclaimed as I approached the corner table where I recognized many of the faces. He slid out of the booth, a brunette in tow as he lurched forward and pulled me into a tight hug, "I'm so sorry," He said softly in my ear. I squeezed him harder, comforted at his soft words.

"It's okay," I replied as he rubbed my back soothingly, pulling away before looking to the brunette.

I was excited to see Johnny again. As much as I wanted to hate the entirety of Avenged Sevenfold, I could never bring myself to fully hate Johnny. I thought about him often after I had left. He was the only one who didn't try to attack me when my secret with Matt was revealed. He looked at me as a person, not as a child. I was an equal to him, and I would never forget that.

"Eden, this is my wife Lacey. I wish I was able to introduce you two before... well," He shrugged and the woman turned to me. She politely held out her hand, a smile across her face.

"It's nice to meet you. Johnny's told me a lot about you," She smiled, "He talks nonstop about what a wonderful person you are."

I became uneasy as I shook her hand softly, remembering all of the people I had trampled over to get to where I was now. For the first time I wondered how I would look to other people. Would Johnny be proud of the person I had become? Probably not.

"Well, not as great as he is," I shrugged. Before she could respond, a loud yelling came from behind Johnny before he was pushed aside. A familiar tall figure stood in front of me, flailing his arms everywhere before lifting me up as high as he could.

"Eden!" He screamed and spun me around. I laughed, not sure how to take the sudden friendliness from Jimmy.

"Good to see you too," I laughed as he put me down. He looked down at me, his blue eyes searching mine for maybe some hint that I was going to snap in front of him. He did try to break up my relationship with Matt at some point, but that was forgotten now.

I pulled away from him, heading to the table so I could sit down. It wasn't long until Grace made her way to the table, a bottle of Jack in her hand along with a tray of shot glasses, "Take it easy tonight. The Berry's won't be here for another hour," She warned with a smile before walking off again.

"The Berry's?" I asked and turned to Zack.

"Our other friends. They come on tour with us. They're usually the ones to keep us out of trouble... and jail," He explained and I nodded. He poured me a shot and slid it over to me, "Cheers," He smiled before clinking my glass with his. I took the shot, not even wincing as the burning liquid made its way down my throat, "Damn," He laughed, "Handle your liquor well?" He nudged me.

"I've grown accustomed to hard drinks," I said, sliding the glass away from me. Judging by the look in his eyes, I knew he understood what that meant. He gave a little nod before handing me the shot in his hand, the one meant for himself.

"Well, then drink up. I'm driving tonight," He smiled and I laughed, taking the drink from his hand and downing it again.

I'd lost track of time as we all began to talk about what's happened in the past four years. They explained the success of the new album, working on another, and everything in between. I explained some things at work, but didn't go too into detail.

I couldn't bring myself to tell them how I really was. I wasn't going to tell them that I trampled over people. That I sometimes lied and cheated to get my way at the magazine. I'd fire interns, just because I felt a little pissed off that day. I've crushed people's dreams, and knocked them down so they could never get back up again.

They were all beautiful people. Zacky, Brian, Jimmy, and Johnny. As much as I tried to ignore it, I knew what they did for their fans. They'd wait for hours to sign things for them. They'd visit sick fans in the hospital, on their own time and money. They were constantly looking out for everyone else but themselves, and that was a trait I never had.

It was always about me.
Me. Me. Me.
It didn't matter that Amy had a fiancee, and that I kept her from him late into the night to make sure I wasn't alone when wrapping up editorials for a new spread. I didn't care that sometimes she had to watch her niece and nephew, I'd still make her come into work and not bring them. I honestly just didn't care. I didn't care about anyone.

I still didn't feel guilty about it. That was probably the worst. Even as I listened to all the wonderful things that happened with the guys, I still didn't feel guilty about who I was. I just didn't want them to know that.

By midnight the bar was packed and Grace was moving back and forth behind the bar like her life depended on it. The guys were still drinking, all except Zack, and having a good time.

All of a sudden, I felt a hand tightly squeeze my knee, causing me to look over at Zack. I noticed the chatter at the table had quieted to a whisper, all of their eyes adverted anywhere but me. Zack had a look of worry in his eyes as he saw me, "We should go," He noted, and nodded for me to slide out of the booth so he could also get out.

"What? It's only midnight. You dragged me all the way out here for us to leave early?" I asked, a smile gripping my cheeks. I was sure it was the alcohol that made me have so much fun with everyone.

"Seriously, Eden. We should go," He looked at me as if he were trying to tell me something deeper, but the alcohol was just clouding my judgement.

"Tell me why, then I'll think about it," I huffed. He rolled his eyes and roughly gripped my upper arm, leaning in closer.

"Because Matt is here," He hissed, as if scolding me like he would a child.

I froze. I wasn't ready to see him. I had planned to prepare in the few days I had before the funeral. I didn't think he would come around before then. I had this planned perfectly, and now it was ruined. I froze in time, unable to move until Zacky once again put his hands on me. He pushed me gently, nudging me out of the booth. I did as he motioned me to do. Even with the amount of Jack Daniel's in my system, I was able to walk straight. I never was a clumsy drunk.

Clumsy? No. Emotional? Absolutely.

It was already too late. Before Zack was even able to get out of the booth, I felt a large presence next to me. I saw the shadow of his silhouette in the reflection of the table, the lights from the bar casting him towards me even closer. I couldn't move as Zack looked up at me, his eyes locking with mine as I desperately asked him for help.

"E-Eden?" His voice was weak. I hated weak. I liked him strong, better. Like he was supposed to be. Matt, to me, had always been unbreakable.

"Matt," Zack warned.

"I can speak to whoever I want, Zack," Matt snapped.

I breathed in, finally turning to face him.

His face was a little fuller. The baby face he once had was now more rugged with slight stubble. His dimples were still visible through his heavy frown. His lip ring was gone, along with his gauges. His once buzz cut hair was now fully grown, resting on his shoulders. The light amber of his hair was noticeable in the flickering lights from the other side of the bar. On his forehead, the bandana remained, just as I always remembered it.

It seemed to me that I wasn't the only one who was older. He was too.

"Hey," I nodded as I felt Zack's hand grip around my forearm, as if he were ready to catch me if I fainted. Which, I was sure I was going to in a few minutes.

He was here. In the flesh, in front of me. He stood at the same height I remembered him. I suddenly remembered what his hands against my hips felt like. I remembered the way my small delicate hand was held so tightly in his own. I couldn't help but be drawn back to the memories I had forgotten. Sitting on his kitchen counter, playing video games in his lap, rolling around in his bed. I couldn't forget those as much as I had tried.

"Hey," He scratched the back of his head, ignoring the awkward glances from the others sitting at the table, "Um, can we talk?"

"We're talking now, aren't we?" I asked.

He sighed, "I meant alone."

By then, Zack stepped between us, sending glares at Matt, "You came here on purpose to bug her, knowing she'd probably be drinking. If you want to talk to her, you should do it somewhere else," Zack warned.

Before Matt could reply, I pushed Zack out of the way. If I was already here, then I was going to hear Matt speak, and he was going to hear me. Zack sighed, but stayed close either way. By now, half of the bar was looking at us. It even seemed as if the music was quieter, so everyone could hear our conversation. The guys were looking intently at us, waiting for one of us to do something.

"So, uh, you're back," He smiled, but that didn't hide the sadness in his hazel eyes. I could see the pain. It was the same pain I had left there four years ago. Somehow, it never left.

"Yes, because my mother is dead. I know," I nodded and he shook his head.

"I'm sorry, about that. Really... She was a good person," He stated more softly and I nodded, "How have you been?"

"Great," I lied, earning a look from Zack. He could see right through my lies, but that didn't mean Matt could. I refused to show him that I was weak.

"So are you, um, seeing someone... or something?" He asked even more awkwardly, his hazel eyes casted anywhere but my one brown ones. I smirked, placing my hands on my hips as I took a step towards him.

"I don't know how to answer that question. Seeing as the last time I was here, we both had different definitions of what the word single actually meant," I snapped and his eyes widened.

It was as if I kneed him in the gut. Even everyone behind us let out a gasp, eyes wide at the bold words I had chosen. Matt looked like someone had sucker punched him. His mouth fell open, shocked I would say such a thing to him. He probably knew I was thinking it, but he probably didn't expect the punch.

"Don't do that to me," Matt begged, his eyes darkened with anger.

"I can do whatever I damn well please. I think I deserve it," I glared, my hands tightening into fists.

"I think I deserve a chance to explain myself," He replied, taking a step forward.

"Oh, yes, please explain to me how you not only managed to break my heart, but also your wife's," I snapped.

Zack took that as his cue to get me out of there. He gripped my waist tight, this time not letting up as he pulled me away, "Okay, time to go," He muttered as he pulled me into his chest, pulling me away from the sight of Matt. Anger built up in me, something buried so deep I even forgot it was there.

Anger. I had completely forgotten about it. I was so busy drowning in my own tears that I forgot what true anger felt like. It was buried within me, dormant but ready to explode.

It wasn't until we hit the chill of the night air when I realized that tears were streaming down my face. I was still wrapped into Zack's side, him leading me to the same car we came here in. I sniffled and he looked down at me, sighing. He opened my door, leading me in before he shut it and walking around to get into the driver's seat.

As soon as the car started to move, I snapped. I breathed in, finally letting out every sob I was holding in. Zack looked over at me, eyes wide as I placed my hands over my face, letting out a loud but muffled scream of frustration.

I felt his hand rest on my upper back as he continued driving with the other hand, not slowing down for anything, "I swear I didn't know he was going to be there," He said softly.

I could feel my lungs beginning to collapse as I thought back to the bar. Matt, even with all is rough imperfections, was still as beautiful as I had left him. Through the stubble and long hair, he was the same wide-eyed hazel man who had put so much joy in my life. My heart felt like it was being ripped in two as I thought of him.

"Why did it have to be him?" I whispered, but Zack didn't have an answer for me. Instead, he continued to drive the short distance to the house.

Zack didn't say anything else until the car stopped, "Let's get you to bed. You should sleep the booze off," He said softly.

I nodded and leaned into him as soon as he was on the other side of the car, opening the door for me. He helped me up, letting me use him for support as he shut the car door, leading me to the front door where I would try to forget everything my life had to offer.