Welcome Home

'Welcome Home, my ass' I thought grumpily as I sat on the couch together with Nessie. I was told that I was babysitting her, but I knew that it was Nessie sitting me. Jake didn't trust me in the company of his pack. And if I'm honest I only blame him a bit. The other she-wolf - what was her name again? Lily? Liane? Leah! - and I didn't really hit it off very well. She insisted on trying to put me down, saying that she was the Jack's right hand and that I would never be able to blahblahblah. Personally I believe that I'm only defending myself. So far it had always been her to initiate fights, but what does it matter, really? So far I've always won as well.

But of course that doesn't matter, as long as Jake doesn't say the word, I will be stuck obeying her fucking orders if I really am part of this pack. I don't know why, but I had always imagined this to work out much easier. Come here, see Jake again, join his pack and go back to old times. Just him and I. But no, the prince had to go off and get himself a new pack, with new ranking orders. I should have just stayed away...

Nessie touched my arm softly, making me jump. I had been so in my own little world that I hadn't noticed Nessie walking up to me from her earlier position at the piano and sitting down next to me. "Are you alright?" she asked softly, smiling at me kindly.

I smirked at her, "Of course I am! I was just indulging my favourite past time!"

"And what would that be?" she asked humoured.

"Thinking of ways to kill that girl," I answered.

Nessie frowned. "Leah isnt that bad. You should give her a chance."

I raised an eyebrow. "I tried. She was the one who attacked me."

"She's scared of you. You came here out of nowhere and are now threatening to take away her position."

I sighed and rolled my eyes, "Only the position that was originally mine anyway," I grumbled and changed my position so, that I was now lying on the couch, my head on Nessies lap. The little girl started playing with my long black hair.

The idea of imprints was still a mystery to me really. Jake had introduced that concept to me one night when we were roaming the lands of Canada, but the idea seemed to foreign to be true, and if its truly love, I'm not quite convinced. A shift of gravity, Jake had told me. Instead of being bound to the earth, you are bound to your imprint, you will do and be anything for them and in return you will receive their love. Sounded more like being a slave to me.

But I saw the look in Jakes eyes whenever he looked at Nessie - it wasn't any kind of weird love, but it wasn't what she imagined normal love to be either. It was more of a brotherly love currently... I think... Its all very confusing. But I understood it. Nessie was an amazing little girl and I loved her company - even with the slightly sickly sweet smell of hers. She was comfortable with herself and with me and let me relax.

I was starting to doze off a bit under her soft touch which was braiding my hair, when I suddenly heard the door of the living room being slammed open. Instantly I was crouching protectively over Nessie. It was Leah.

Knowing that Leah would not hurt Nessie, I relaxed a bit and got of the couch, but I didn't let my guard down.

"What do you want?" I asked growling.

"Well, what I want is for you to go back to where you've come from. Jake already has his Beta. But, for now: Its your turn in guarding the perimeters."

I bared my teeth at her, before looking down at Nessie with a smile. "Well Nessie, see you later!" I quickly ruffled her hair, which made her squeal a bit and started heading out of the door. Leah followed me. When I walked out of the doors and Leah still followed me, I stood still and looked back at her. "What?" I bellowed.

"Why did you come here?"

"What does it matter to you?"

Leah didn't answer me in words, just with a glare. Rolling my eyes, I turned away from her again and continued walking towards the woods surrounding the house. She started following me again. "You didn't answer me."

"You didn't answer me," I stated back.

"Dont forget, in this pack, I rank higher then you do."

I gritted my teeth and growled "For now", under my breath, before switching into my wolven form once again, prepared for the flying attack Leah unleashed at me, and yet she managed to claw into my back and flattened me against the dirt.

Seeing red, I twisted around and bit into her ankle, ripping at her leg with clenched jaws slowly but surely pulling her off of me. Once I escaped the claws on my back, I moved my body around, so that I was facing Leah and raced towards her, head butting her into her temple. Slightly dazed, she stumbled around the open space we were fighting in, giving me ample opportunities to attack again. However, all I did was sit down and watched her get back her barrings.

When she recovered, she looked at me silently. Well, as silently as she could when in wolf form. I had never felt this connection before coming here. My mind had always been silent from others, a truly lone wolf. Even when Jake was running with me, we never really were pack, just two lone wolves working with one another. We had talked telepathically, but that was that - no mind sharing, loads of privacy. But now... I shook my head and was about to change back into my human form, when growled again and mentally ordered me to stop.

I hated her for this. In the two weeks I had been here, I had managed to slip out of my wolven form every time the others changed. I had not seamlessly interwoven into the pack as Jake had hoped, but managed to use my hostility with Leah to get out of my wolf form as soon as possible after the others morphed. I had been put under Nessie duty a lot, giving me another reason to remain in my human form and when I was on guard duty, I run alone - I had asked for this and Jake obliged. But now Leah forced me to bare myself to her. I hated her for this.

Her thoughts - also not very loving towards me - flooded my mind. I saw how she saw me. And I reminded myself of one of the popular girls I had known years ago, when I still went to school. Not in terms of looks, yes I looked good with my (to peoples surprise) long black hair, my native American tanned skin, the doe eyes and the plump lips, my high cheek bones and my slender, well trained figure. But in how I held myself, too confident, too content. Every look calculating, every fibre of my body trying to make Leah feel unwelcome, unworthy of my time and focus.

I glared at the ground. She was over-sensitive, but I understood her contempt towards me. I hadn't noticed it myself, but my inner female had tried to undermine the other female - and I was surprised that in a way it did work. Leah felt inadequate because of me. Unwittingly, I had managed to rub salt into exactly the wounds that had already been stinging her pride. She forced her past into my head and let me understand her hostility and anger.

But this was a two way war. While she bombarded me with thoughts and imaged of her past, my own thoughts and feelings were soaked up by her. My loneliness, fear and anger that I had felt before Jake appeared. The joy that filled me when I had run through the Canadian forests with Jake. My sovereign love towards Jake that had filled me on our journey together and the broken-heartedness I felt for him as he constantly talked about Bella. The determination to send him off, find my own way and my own love, the loneliness creeping up at me again after Jake had gone. And now the fear of the connection, the kindness that I felt towards Nessie, paired with the hostility I felt towards Leah. Her taking my place at Jakes side, taking away from my importance in Jakes eyes. My love had never been romantic, but he had become the most important person in my life, while I never was his. First there was Bella, now there was Nessie. But I don't mind that really, that's romantic love. But I thought I had become his second most important person, his confidant and best friend but here I am, back by his side and he looks towards Leah more than he does to me. That's what was hurting me, that is why I despised Leah so much.

Leah looked at me confused. You've got some weird ideas..., she thought softly. Jake missed you just as much as you missed him. He wouldn't stop talking about you for ages!

Yeah right. But then he did. I guess I just took to long to come here. He has a new life, or rather his own life. I was a fool for thinking coming back to him would make everything go back to normal.

What do you mean with normal?

Back to how it used to be. Him and I running through the forest... Starting a new pack... Who knew that he had already done that without me? I snarled. All I'm now is in the way.

Leah frowned. That's not true. Jake is really happy you are here! He missed you and your council. But you have to understand that he has to be careful. This is a new life for you, you've never been in a pack before and our pack if far from normal... Living with bloodsuckers... Leah shook her head in disgust. Before he can really integrate you, you must learn to live this way. And that includes not hiding your thoughts, but embracing the non-privacy curse that we have.

I chuckled, Non-privacy curse, huh? Sounds about right.

Suddenly a third mind intruded our conversation. Everything alright with you guys? Embrys voice asked. From a couple miles away. How long had he been in his wolf form? Had he followed our whole conversation silently? I started melting in shame.

Yeah, we're fine Leah answered with a barking laugh. Just about to release you from guard duty.

Sweet! Cause I'm hungry as hell! Be there in five minutes