Car Crash Eyes

The party had wound down, and the guys from Pierce the Veil had gone back to their bus with Welly in tow. It was quiet now, Matt and I were the only ones left awake.

“So, Violet aye?” he slurred, attempting to wink at me, but in his drunken state failing.

“What about her?” I asked, taking another sip from my beer. Matt was fucked. He was struggling to keep himself upright.

“You know what you sly bastard! She’s a bit hot ‘ent she?” he was giggling like a fucking idiot. There was no point in me protesting, he’s like a dog with a bone when he gets an idea in his head.

“Somethink like that. Oi mate, what do you actually think of her?” I knew what I thought of her, but I wanted to know what the others thought of her. Matt especially. I had a habit of thinking good things about the wrong people. Matt wasn’t like me though, he was a good judge of character, and he wasn’t easily fooled by the girls that wormed their ways into our lives.

“Mate, I don’t even know. She’s something though. I like her. She’s just got something about her.” I was about to ask him what it was when I heard a screaming from upstairs and then a loud crash. I jumped from my seat, sprinting up the stairs to where Violet was. She was screaming and thrashing about, Jordan was trying to restrain her so she didn’t hurt herself but she wasn’t having any of it.

“Violet!” I shouted, grabbing hold of her arms. She was still trying to run away though. I pulled her closer to me and pulled her down onto the floor. “Turn on the lights!” I shouted to Lee who was stood in shock. He didn’t move. “Lee! Turn on the fucking lights!” This time he did as he was told. I felt the thrashing begin to stop.

“What happened?” Violet sobbed, looking around the room at everyone who was in turn staring at her.

“Yeah, what did just happen?” Jordan asked, bending down to make sure she was okay. “You’ve cut your leg.” He frowned.

“Come on, I’ll clean you up and explain.” I picked her up from the floor, keeping her close to me and lead her downstairs.

“What the fuck were that?” Matt hadn’t moved from his spot on the sofa.

“Go to bed. I’ll talk to you in the morning.” I muttered, ushering him up the stairs. Violet was stood by the sink shaking violently. I could hear light sobs echoing from her. “Hey, you okay?” I asked, pulling her around to face me. “You had me worried there.” I smiled lightly. She looked up at me, fear buried in her eyes. I’d never seen someone look so scared.

“I’m so sorry. They’re not normally that bad…” she was completely taken off guard by what had just happened, and if I was honest, so was I. When she’d told me about them I hadn’t imagined them being that bad for her.

“You have nothing to be sorry for love.” I sat her down on the sofa and handed her a glass of water.

“I do. You let me stay here and I terrify everyone by having a complete freak out.” She frowned to herself, causing slight dimples in her cheeks. It was something I hadn’t noticed before now.

“They’ve had worse. I’ve woke up screaming about things and people being on the bus. When Jordan first joined us on tour no one bothered to tell him that with my sleep paralysis, came hallucinations. He freaked the fuck out. Trust me; they’re used to this shit.” My attempts at cheering her up seemed to be going to shit. “Listen; no one here minds okay. They were just worried about you. Now let me clean up that cut.” She didn’t say a word the whole time I cleaned the cut and put a plaster on it.

“Why are you so nice?” she finally asked, causing me to look up at her in shock.

“You’re probably one of the few lasses who’ve met me who’d say that to me.” I chuckled. I took the seat next to her.
She snorted in response. “You have to be kidding me right? That piece of paper that’s still in your pocket tells me otherwise.” I felt a lump build in my throat again. I’d been where Sara had. She was braver than I was. A lot braver. It took me a long time to get myself help, and even then…well I’d hardly been the most dedicated. I was working on it though.

“You guys just met me on a good night.” I winked. “Don’t you read the stories about me? I pissed on some chicks face because she refused to fuck me.” It had hurt me a lot when my fans had believed that so easily of me. After that I’d cleaned up my public image. It wasn’t something I wanted. I wanted to be someone people could be proud of. I didn’t want my mum to phone me in floods of tears begging me to tell her it wasn’t true. My parents shouldn’t have doubted me, but they had. They had doubted me and I didn’t resent them for it, it wasn’t their fault, it was mine.

The look on Violet’s face told me that she hadn’t ever heard the rumour and I almost regretted mentioning it. “People believed you’d done that? As in people really believed it?” I’d never seen someone shocked when I told them that. Even people who knew me the best, they weren’t ever shocked that people believed it. It was in that moment that I realised just how amazing Violet truly was. She looked past my tattoos, and more than that she saw the best in everyone. She saw light in places where it was buried so deep people had long since given up on it. Violet would never give up on people though. She’d continue to see the best in people until it killed her. If I believed in a God, I’d believe she was one of his angels. Sent down to save me. To save the world.

“You’re drunk thinking.” She chuckled.

“What?” I stared at her in confusion.

“Drunk thinking. It’s where you over analyse silly shit, and think you’ve like found the meaning to life of some bullshit.”

“Something like that.” I mused. “Are you okay now?” she seemed better, but I wasn’t sure. She’d really scared me. Seeing her like that was something I never wanted to see again. She was so tiny, but so set on destruction. So terrified.

“Yeah. I can’t remember what happened though. All I remember is waking up with you holding onto me for dear life.”

“I was down here with Matt. I heard you scream and then there was a crash. When I came upstairs Jordan was trying to calm you down but you were kicking and hitting. So I pulled you down onto the floor and got Lee to turn on the light.” I shrugged.

“Thank you. Most people just freeze and don’t know what to do. Everything is so much worse when I wake up on the floor alone.”

“I couldn’t just leave you there…you looked so scared.” Seeing her like that was terrifying. I hated seeing someone so small and fragile so scared. I just wanted to stop it for her. Something inside of me wanted to protect her.

We sat for a while longer, talking about nothing really. Eventually she drifted off to sleep. I moved to get her a blanket; I was just about to place it over her when she pulled me down next to her. “Stay with me.” She whispered sleepily. She looked at me, her eyes half open, there was something desperate and scared in the way she said it and I knew I couldn’t leave her. I pulled her down next to me, bringing her close to me. She turned to face me and nuzzled her head in the crook of my neck. “Thank you.” She sighed, falling back asleep. I lay awake a while longer, just thinking about the amazing girl lying next to me. There was something so unique about her, something so infectious, that even though I didn’t know her very well, I just wanted to be around her. I could see the sun beginning to rise when I realised just how knackered I was, and before I knew it I was asleep.