I Call It Love, They Call It Living in Sin
1/1
It's been about six months since you're dating with Brandon and he still doesn't know your parents. He knows how difficult for you it is to deal with your mother and your father because both of them are devoted Catholics.
But you had enough of this, you want them to meet you're boyfriend and possibly the man that you're going to marry in the future.
You explained Brandon that things might be kinda ugly when they met, but he simply replied that he doesn't care and that what matters is that he loves you.
You're sickly worried. You already have enough problems to deal with, like your depression. You've been kinda good lately, but still you can't stop yourself from self harming once in a while. Brandon doesn't know yet and you plan on keeping it that way.
Lying on your bed, facing the empty room feeling your wrist itching from the blood coming from it you find yourself thinking about Brandon. You wonder what he is doing or what he is feeling. If he is tired or if he is happy. If he misses you or if he is enjoying the time away from you.
You start to cry feeling empty and alone. You knew it was is work, but it was horrible when he was on tour. Especially when you didn't knew when he was coming back. Gently closing your eyes you drifted to sleep crying in silence.
*Time Lapse*
'(Y/N)' you heard a voice whispering and opened your eyes really slowly. Once you adjusted to the light that was in the room you saw Brandon's perfect smile. You smiled at him, but that smile quickly faded once you remembered that your wrists were still covered in blood. Quickly you tried to cover your wrists with the bed sheets, which only caused them to stain due to the blood. '(Y/N) what's that on the sheets?' he asked worriedly.
'N-nnothing' you managed to say with your voice cracking.
'It doesn't seem nothing to me baby' he said calmly.
You started crying and sobbing and Brandon gently pulled you to his arms. You buried your head on his neck and continued crying.
'Sssh it's okay babe. I'm here' he said.
'S-ssorry Brandon' you apologized to the wonderful man in front of you. He pulled you even closer and kissed your lips gently.
'It's okay (Y/N), I'm here baby! I'm here' he rocked your body back and forth like you were a baby. Strangely that managed to calm you down a little bit. 'Do you want to talk?'
'Y-yes' you said.
'Why do you do it baby?' he asked looking you in the eyes.
'I don't know Brandon. I'm just such a fuck up! I don't do anything right! My parents hate me! I hate myself! Everybody hates me! I'm worthless' you said crying. You looked at Brandon and he was crying and honestly knowing that you've hurt the man you love hurt you even more.
'You're not worthless! You're everything to me (Y/N)! And you're parents don't hate you, they just have their own way to show you that they love you' he said trying to calm you down and make you realize that you were wrong. 'And plus. How can you think that you mean nothing when I love you so much and need you by my side. You're important and you're needed. Don't think otherwise my love'
Brandon always seemed to make your darkest days look brighter and for you, being important to him was enough.
You laid your head on his lap, closing your eyes while Brandon gently petted your head. Minutes later you were asleep.
*A few days later*
You wake up and you're alone in bed.
'Brandon probably went out' you think. You make your way to the bathroom and turn the water of the bathtub on. You start undressing yourself and enter the bathtub lying down so you're body is completely covered by the water. You close your eyes and start to hear those voices again. Those voices that tell you every day that you're worthless and that you would be better dead. That voices that tell you to press that cold razor against your skin every day.
You get out of the bathtub and start searching for your "special box", as you like to call it, and immediately took your razor out. Taking a deep breath you ran the razor through your left wrist five times and watch as the blood started to drip from it.
Then, there was a slight knock on the door.
'(Y/N), open the door, it’s me.' -Brandon's quiet voice came from the other side of the bathroom door. You’d almost forgotten that he was back from his tour. You didn’t know what to do so you opened the door to let him in. He looked at you and the mile that he had immediately faded.
Brandon hugged his arms around you and sat you down on the floor. He grabbed your wrist and cleaned it. He kissed your forehead and opened his mouth to talk. 'What made you self harm again baby?' he asked you.
'It was the voices Brandon!' you said crying.
'Shh, everything’s going to be okay (Y/N)' he said hugging you tightly.
'No it's not Brandon!'
'It is! I'm here baby! And I'm gonna help you' he said calmly.
Once you calm down a little more Brandon pulls you to his arms and carries you to your bed. He lays you down on the bed and places a tray containing a bunch of food in front of you. You start to eat really slowly and you can't help but to think that Brando was so gentle and caring and that he deserves so much better than you.
*3 weeks later*
Today is the day that Brandon is going to meet your parents and you're so nervous, you just don't wanna show it so that Brandon doesn't get much more nervous than what he already is.
'You look beautiful baby' you said admiring your boyfriend.
'Thank you my princess you look beautiful yourself too' he said giving you a nervous smile. You wanted to tell him that everything was going to be okay and that you're parents would love him, but you knew things weren't exactly like that... You knew that they wouldn't accept you're relationship and that hurt.
You and your boyfriend leave your house and start your small and quite trip to your parents house.
*15 minutes later*
You're at your parents front door and you're getting more nervous each minute. You look at you're boyfriend and he has a blank expression. He looked at you and nodded you to knock on the door. You did it and waited until your mother came answer the door.
'Hi mother' you said coldly.
'Hello (Y/N)' she answered.
'So... can I come in?' you asked.
'Who's that?' she said pointing at your boyfriend.
'Hello it's a pleasure to meet you! My name is Brandon and I'm (Y/N)'s boyfriend' Brandon said introducing himself. You're mother examined him from head to toe and then told you to get in.
You grabbed Brandon's hand and got in, making your way to the living room. Your father was there reading a book.
'Hello father' you said. He laid the book down on the table and looked at you with the same look on his face as always, shame.
'I see that you're still an abomination' my dad spat at me and I didn't answer. 'And now you bring one of your satanic friends to my house?!'
'He is not satanic, stop over reacting!' you said.
'It looks pretty satanic to me!'
'Darling let's not talk like that to each other' your mom said. 'Give her a shot. And give the boy a shot too, right?'
You looked at your mom and your jaw almost dropped from what she had said.
'Anyway... Brandon is my boyfriend and I just wanted you to meet him' you said to the man that was supposed to support you and be your father figure.
'Nice to meet you Sir.' your boyfriend Brandon managed to say. He reached his hand to shake your father's hand but your father was rude enough not to shake Brandon's hand. Brandon was starting to feel really uncomfortable and sad, and you could see that on his eyes.
'You could at least shake his hand' you said to your father. He ignored you completely and grabbed the book he had earlier placed on the table. He opened it and you slapped it away.
'Don't you dare do that again!' he yelled at you.
'Or what?!' you dared him. You earned a slap from him and immediately started crying. Your father raised his hand to hit you once again but Brandon's hand stopped him.
'Sir, don't you dare to touch her again!' he said sounding really intimidating. 'Now I understand why she didn't want me to meet you.' he grabbed your hand, took you to the car and drove back to you're house.
Once you got home, he gently carried you upstairs to your room, he undressed you and laid you on the bed. Then he undressed himself and laid next to you, cuddling you in his arms.
'I love you more than my own life!' he said giving you a kiss.
In that moment you realized that there's nothing more you want and need than Brandon.
But you had enough of this, you want them to meet you're boyfriend and possibly the man that you're going to marry in the future.
You explained Brandon that things might be kinda ugly when they met, but he simply replied that he doesn't care and that what matters is that he loves you.
You're sickly worried. You already have enough problems to deal with, like your depression. You've been kinda good lately, but still you can't stop yourself from self harming once in a while. Brandon doesn't know yet and you plan on keeping it that way.
Lying on your bed, facing the empty room feeling your wrist itching from the blood coming from it you find yourself thinking about Brandon. You wonder what he is doing or what he is feeling. If he is tired or if he is happy. If he misses you or if he is enjoying the time away from you.
You start to cry feeling empty and alone. You knew it was is work, but it was horrible when he was on tour. Especially when you didn't knew when he was coming back. Gently closing your eyes you drifted to sleep crying in silence.
*Time Lapse*
'(Y/N)' you heard a voice whispering and opened your eyes really slowly. Once you adjusted to the light that was in the room you saw Brandon's perfect smile. You smiled at him, but that smile quickly faded once you remembered that your wrists were still covered in blood. Quickly you tried to cover your wrists with the bed sheets, which only caused them to stain due to the blood. '(Y/N) what's that on the sheets?' he asked worriedly.
'N-nnothing' you managed to say with your voice cracking.
'It doesn't seem nothing to me baby' he said calmly.
You started crying and sobbing and Brandon gently pulled you to his arms. You buried your head on his neck and continued crying.
'Sssh it's okay babe. I'm here' he said.
'S-ssorry Brandon' you apologized to the wonderful man in front of you. He pulled you even closer and kissed your lips gently.
'It's okay (Y/N), I'm here baby! I'm here' he rocked your body back and forth like you were a baby. Strangely that managed to calm you down a little bit. 'Do you want to talk?'
'Y-yes' you said.
'Why do you do it baby?' he asked looking you in the eyes.
'I don't know Brandon. I'm just such a fuck up! I don't do anything right! My parents hate me! I hate myself! Everybody hates me! I'm worthless' you said crying. You looked at Brandon and he was crying and honestly knowing that you've hurt the man you love hurt you even more.
'You're not worthless! You're everything to me (Y/N)! And you're parents don't hate you, they just have their own way to show you that they love you' he said trying to calm you down and make you realize that you were wrong. 'And plus. How can you think that you mean nothing when I love you so much and need you by my side. You're important and you're needed. Don't think otherwise my love'
Brandon always seemed to make your darkest days look brighter and for you, being important to him was enough.
You laid your head on his lap, closing your eyes while Brandon gently petted your head. Minutes later you were asleep.
*A few days later*
You wake up and you're alone in bed.
'Brandon probably went out' you think. You make your way to the bathroom and turn the water of the bathtub on. You start undressing yourself and enter the bathtub lying down so you're body is completely covered by the water. You close your eyes and start to hear those voices again. Those voices that tell you every day that you're worthless and that you would be better dead. That voices that tell you to press that cold razor against your skin every day.
You get out of the bathtub and start searching for your "special box", as you like to call it, and immediately took your razor out. Taking a deep breath you ran the razor through your left wrist five times and watch as the blood started to drip from it.
Then, there was a slight knock on the door.
'(Y/N), open the door, it’s me.' -Brandon's quiet voice came from the other side of the bathroom door. You’d almost forgotten that he was back from his tour. You didn’t know what to do so you opened the door to let him in. He looked at you and the mile that he had immediately faded.
Brandon hugged his arms around you and sat you down on the floor. He grabbed your wrist and cleaned it. He kissed your forehead and opened his mouth to talk. 'What made you self harm again baby?' he asked you.
'It was the voices Brandon!' you said crying.
'Shh, everything’s going to be okay (Y/N)' he said hugging you tightly.
'No it's not Brandon!'
'It is! I'm here baby! And I'm gonna help you' he said calmly.
Once you calm down a little more Brandon pulls you to his arms and carries you to your bed. He lays you down on the bed and places a tray containing a bunch of food in front of you. You start to eat really slowly and you can't help but to think that Brando was so gentle and caring and that he deserves so much better than you.
*3 weeks later*
Today is the day that Brandon is going to meet your parents and you're so nervous, you just don't wanna show it so that Brandon doesn't get much more nervous than what he already is.
'You look beautiful baby' you said admiring your boyfriend.
'Thank you my princess you look beautiful yourself too' he said giving you a nervous smile. You wanted to tell him that everything was going to be okay and that you're parents would love him, but you knew things weren't exactly like that... You knew that they wouldn't accept you're relationship and that hurt.
You and your boyfriend leave your house and start your small and quite trip to your parents house.
*15 minutes later*
You're at your parents front door and you're getting more nervous each minute. You look at you're boyfriend and he has a blank expression. He looked at you and nodded you to knock on the door. You did it and waited until your mother came answer the door.
'Hi mother' you said coldly.
'Hello (Y/N)' she answered.
'So... can I come in?' you asked.
'Who's that?' she said pointing at your boyfriend.
'Hello it's a pleasure to meet you! My name is Brandon and I'm (Y/N)'s boyfriend' Brandon said introducing himself. You're mother examined him from head to toe and then told you to get in.
You grabbed Brandon's hand and got in, making your way to the living room. Your father was there reading a book.
'Hello father' you said. He laid the book down on the table and looked at you with the same look on his face as always, shame.
'I see that you're still an abomination' my dad spat at me and I didn't answer. 'And now you bring one of your satanic friends to my house?!'
'He is not satanic, stop over reacting!' you said.
'It looks pretty satanic to me!'
'Darling let's not talk like that to each other' your mom said. 'Give her a shot. And give the boy a shot too, right?'
You looked at your mom and your jaw almost dropped from what she had said.
'Anyway... Brandon is my boyfriend and I just wanted you to meet him' you said to the man that was supposed to support you and be your father figure.
'Nice to meet you Sir.' your boyfriend Brandon managed to say. He reached his hand to shake your father's hand but your father was rude enough not to shake Brandon's hand. Brandon was starting to feel really uncomfortable and sad, and you could see that on his eyes.
'You could at least shake his hand' you said to your father. He ignored you completely and grabbed the book he had earlier placed on the table. He opened it and you slapped it away.
'Don't you dare do that again!' he yelled at you.
'Or what?!' you dared him. You earned a slap from him and immediately started crying. Your father raised his hand to hit you once again but Brandon's hand stopped him.
'Sir, don't you dare to touch her again!' he said sounding really intimidating. 'Now I understand why she didn't want me to meet you.' he grabbed your hand, took you to the car and drove back to you're house.
Once you got home, he gently carried you upstairs to your room, he undressed you and laid you on the bed. Then he undressed himself and laid next to you, cuddling you in his arms.
'I love you more than my own life!' he said giving you a kiss.
In that moment you realized that there's nothing more you want and need than Brandon.