Feel

Vic had me pushed against the closet door with his hand in my boxers, flicking his wrist way faster than I thought possible.

“Victor? Kellin?” his mom was calling outside of the closed area, probably heading upstairs to look for us. Little did she know that we were just in the main hallway, Vic’s hand down my fucking pants.

“Vic,” I whispered harshly, warning him of his mom.

“Come before she can find out,” he winked at me and I gulped, averting my eyes anywhere but his smirk. I looked up and saw the board game Risk on the shelf; damn, how fitting. “Come fast and come hard.”

I pawed at Vic’s back and whimpered, hearing his mother’s footsteps click down the stairs. He just kept the same wicked, shit-eating grin on his face and dropped to his knees, looking up at me. Nope, fuck, I can’t take it anymore. As I came, he wrapped his lips around my tip, and my head and hands flew back and banged against the closet door. He redid my pants for me and stood, pointing at another board game – Sorry.

“You’re such a fucking idiot,” I said, rolling my eyes, trying to still my shaky hands.

He put his leg between my thighs and looked at me eye-to-eye, “Round two?”

“Jesus Christ, Vic, no. Your mom is out there.”

“Yeah, yeah, but you definitely owe me a little something later.”

I rolled my eyes, “let’s just go and see what she wants before you get too horny.”

He smirked at me and led me out of the closet - oh, the irony - and we creeped into the kitchen. Not a moment later his mother walked in, her hands raised and a surprised look covering her face.

"Ay dios mio! Where have you two been?" she asked.

"We were in the backyard and we just got inside," Vic lied, shrugging his shoulders. I was never a good liar so I just let Vic take care of it while I Iooked down at my hands and stayed quiet. "Do you need us or something?"

"Yes, Mike and Claudia want to tell us all something. Heaven knows what it is, but apparently it's important."

"Well, I guess we should check it out. Can Kellin come?"

I looked up at her with puppy-dog eyes and her expression softened. She said I was the only person Vic has been with that she has truly liked.

"Of course Kellin gets to come, he's one of us now. He's a Fuentes."

"We're not married, mama," Vic groaned, taking my hand and following his mom into their living room.

"You practically are, you're attatched at the hip. You two better not be doing naughty things."

"Mama!" Vic groaned louder this time, making her and I chuckle.

"I promise Mrs. Fue- I mean, Vivian, that I am keeping him in check," I said, and she smiled at me.

"Good."

We all sat down, his parents on the couch, Vic and I sharing a love seat. He wiggled his eyebrows at me and patted his lap but I rolled my eyes, opting to sit on the arm of the chair instead. He pouted, but it soon faded when Claudia and Mike came into the room, looking like nervous wrecks. Mike kept his eyes glued to the floor, his arms crossed, and Claudia was looking at all of us fearfully.

"First of all, please don't get mad," she started, biting her lip. "Secondly, we know we're really stupid and that we should have been more careful."

"We know we fucked up and we're sorry, but we didn't plan for this," Mike spoke up, actually losing his tough exterior. It was hard, seeing them look so scared, but we can't let them off the hook because we don't know what they're talking about yet.

"We're thinking about what to do, but we need to tell you guys before we make any decisions," Claudia said, avoiding all eye contact. They almost reminded me of myself. Almost.

"What'd you do? What, Mike, did you knock her up or something," Vic asked playfully. At first, I chuckled at Vic's words but as soon as they looked up at us with spooked expressions, I knew that Vic had actually figured it out. "Oh my god, are you serious?"

Claudia nodded her head and right on cue their parents' mouths were running marathons.

“¿Hablas en serio?”

“Esto tiene que ser una broma.”

“Un bebé?!”

“Pensé te crié mejor.”

“Yo sabía que no debíamos dejar que ustedes comparten una habitación!”

“Al menos tu hermano es gay.”

"Enough," Mike said, surprisingly calm, putting his hand out. "Let's just decide what to do."

"What do you want to do, Mike? Does it look like we have the money to supply for a baby?" their dad seethed. I would have never thought such happy people could get so angry.

"I know, I know, but what else? Get rid of it? Adoption?"

Everyone went silent and I was shocked at my own self when I spoke up. "I-I could help," Everyone's heads snapped to me and I gulped. "If they want to keep it I could help. Since I have a scholarship for school I have extra money."

"Oh, honey no. You don't need to do that," Claudia said, looking close to tears.

"No, I'm happy to help," my smile felt rubbery but I mean it. I really mean it.

Everyone just looked around at each other before Vic's dad spoke up. "I think Claudia, Mike, Vivian, and I should discuss this in private. I'm not trying to kick you guys out, but I just want to speak to them alone, if that's alright."

"It's fine," I breathed out, "but I really do mean it when I say I'll help pay."

Vic grabbed my hand and pulled me up, "let's go, Kels."

He didn't say anything as we left and it was deadly silent. I followed him to his room, and he slammed the door shut, letting go of me and plopping on his bed. It felt so awkward and I hate that feeling.

"Vic?" I said, stepping towards his bed. "Uh, Vic? Are you okay?"

He didn't answer so I made the rest of the way to his bed and laid down with him, placing my head on his chest, running my hand through his hair. He was still, his arms crossed over his chest but I continued to try to relax him, kissing his temple.

"C'mon, let's go out," I murmured.

"I'm not up for anything right now, Kellin."

"Please?"

He lifted himself up by his arms, leaving my own empty. "Why would you offer to pay for their baby?"

I was taken back, "I... because I care about them and what they want. I don't know, Vic, if they want to keep it they should be able to. You know about my mom and that she left when I was really young, and I'm not saying one of them will leave, but I'm say that they shouldn't miss out on this like she missed out on me."

Vic looked over and me and I bit my lip. "Damnit, Kellin," he said softly, slightly shaking his head. "Why are you so sweet?"

I just shrugged and he leaned over, cupped my face in his palm, and kissed me.

I know it sounds cheesy and corny and completely girly, but his kisses are like drugs. Each one that lands on my lips is like a new high; I never thought I'd ever feel anything like this.

"Can we go to the coffee shop?" I asked when he pulled away.

"Sure, am I driving?"

"Obviously."

He smirked and got up, pulling on some shoes and I did the same with my regular, old Toms. We snuck downstairs again, hearing bits and pieces of the discussion going on in the living room and we slipped out the side door. I got into the passenger seat as normal and somehow pulled on my seatbelt before Vic could. I stuck my tongue out at him and he rolled his eyes, turning the key and the car came to life.

"You know, you need to start driving again."

"When pigs fly, Vic. When pigs fly."

He switched on the radio and shoved one of his favorite CD into the slot. The sound of The Used was playing during the duration of our small trip and our hands were linked together. Day by day I was getting better and now I was totally comfortable with him only driving with one hand.

It didn't take long to get to the coffee shop; it was like our staple place because it was where we first got to know each other. We went up to the cashier where Kamilla was working; she's the usual cashier here. I remember when Alex worked here and he’d sneak me free coffees, which was fun.

"What do you want babe?"

"Uh, just hot chocolate.”

For some reason, I always found hot chocolate appealing, no matter what season.

Vic nodded and I tuned out his and Kamilla’s exchange for a moment when I turned my head and saw a girl with black and blonde hair staring at me from behind a laptop. She didn’t look familiar at all, but for some reason I felt like she knew me. Maybe from school? Was she a friend of Kailey’s? But the moment ended when a guy walked up to her holding two cups; he was thin and has brown hair that was flopping against his forehead. She pulled her eyes from me to him and I felt dumbfounded. Okay, well, whatever. Just a random moment, Kellin.

I turned back to Vic and pushed his hand away that was reaching for his wallet, instead pulling out my own and paying for our drinks and banana bread. He pouted at me as I grabbed the warm cups and he grabbed the box of treats walking to the sofa which was surprisingly empty.

“Hey, aren’t I supposed to pay for the drinks?”

“Oh, shut up,” I giggled, taking the box from his hands, opening it, uncovering the mouthwatering bread. I shoved a piece in his mouth before he could speak, giggling. “Now you really look like a monkey,” I teased.

He swallowed, dipping his finger in the foam of my drink, smearing it on my lips. “Kellin, you’re supposed to swallow.”

I turned red at his stupid sex joke, licking up the foam as soon as I could, giving him a small shove. He was still laughing; fuck, I poked a joke at him but he actually managed to embarrass me.

“Are you gonna stay the night?” he asked, sipping his coffee.

I shook my head, “Apparently my dad and Katherine have something to tell Kailey and I.”

Vic almost rolled his eyes at her name, but I couldn’t scold him because the girl who was staring at me earlier had walked up, hand-in-hand with the guy who sat with her.

“Hello,” she said, offering a small wave, an accent lacing her voice. “My name’s Beth.”

“I’m Cameron,” the guy added.

“We were friends of Taylor Jardine.”

Oh.

“We just wanna say that we’ve met GM and she’s told us about how hard it is for all of you,” Cameron said, “and if you guys want, you can always call up either of us.”

Vic looked skeptical, “Uh, sure. Just, give me your phone; I can put my number in it.”

“Great.”

Looking down was always my specialty, so I did it, staring at the pattern on the rug. The couple left and I looked over at Vic, who was sporting furrowed eyebrows.

“That was weird,” he concluded, looking over at me.

“Yeah, no kidding.”

He just shrugged and picked up another slice of bread, popping it into his mouth. The rest of our time spent there was just a mix of eating, drinking, and talking about our future apartment in San Diego. You know, I’m really excited to move. It’s only an hour and a half away, and I’ve never lived anywhere else but this dump of a town. Imagine, just me and Vic in a place of our own, going to school and having as much sex as we want.

…I’m not sure where that sex bit came from.

“You want me to take you home now?” Vic asked, splitting the last piece of bread in half, giving one side to me. I took it and nodded my head.

We picked up our trash, throwing it away, and getting into his car. He patted my knees before he pulled out of the parking lot and made the familiar ride to my house. It didn’t take long to get there and, being honest, I was sad I have to spend tonight without him. It’s been a week since graduation and I’ve been staying over every night, and those nights have been… pleasurable. I think I can even give a good handjob now.

“Bye, Kellin,” he said, giving me a small peck on the lips.

“Bye, Vic,” I said, climbing out of his car. He pulled out and we waved at each other before he was out of sight; it was a silly tradition of ours.



I’ve been sitting in my room for a few hours now, watching some random YouTube videos here and there, Googling shit I forgot two minutes later. In other words, I was just being lazy. And I loved it; now that I’m done with high school I have the next three months to be a motionless blob and it’s fucking amazing.

“Kellin! Kailey!” I heard Katherine call from downstairs. I paused the music video I was watching and made my way downstairs, hearing Kailey’s door slam and he footsteps a few feet away from me. “Hey, we all gotta talk guys.”

Oh, shit, not the second time today.

We all walked into the living room and they sat in all the spots. Well then, I guess I’ll just stand.

“So, we see how hard it is for you two to get along, now that Kailey’s back,” Katherine started, sending me a sympathetic look. I raised an eyebrow but she looked away. “We only want the best for you two, you know that? And well, Kellin, you’re legally an adult now. Your father and I agreed that it would be best if you… if you left.”

“I… what?” I asked, like a deer in headlights.

“Kellin,” my dad spoke up, “we’re sorry, but Kailey told us she doesn’t feel comfortable with you here-“

“That’s bullshit!” I yelled, interrupting him.

“Don’t cuss at me, Kellin,” he fumed, standing up and walking towards me. “Her needs are more important now. Why don’t you just run to that boyfriend of yours, yeah?”

“Fag,” Kailey whispered under her breath. Katherine gave his knee a little slap and got up, walking to me as well.

“Kellin, sweetie, we love you but-“

“There are no ‘but’s, Katherine,” I spat.

That’s when I felt my dad push me against the counter. My back collided with the cold tiles and I hissed in pain.

“Go,” he ordered, leaning in even more. “Now.”

I didn’t need to be told twice.

My feet carried me upstairs to my room, where I threw on a jacket and shoes. I got my overnight back and threw some clothes in there, making a trip to the bathroom and grabbing whatever I needed. A blanket my mom gave me when I was little was also stashed away in the bag, because it was something I really cared about. Making sure I had my laptop and the chargers to it and my phone, I put a beanie on my head and quietly made it downstairs.

All three of them were hugging while I left.

I should have taken Vic up on his offer.

The door slammed shut behind me and I shivered at the realization hitting my mind, gripping my bag even tighter. I pulled out my phone and called Bones; I know I should have called Vic or Mike or Claudia but I didn’t want them to worry any more than they should.

“Hey,” her voice said through my phone.

“Bones? Is it okay if I can stay over tonight? I know it’s on such short notice but-“

“Mi casa es su casa. I got your back.”

“Thank you so much,” I said, “I’ll be over in a few.”

I hung up and walked the trip to her house in silence and shame, loathing my own fucking family. Fuck my dad. Fuck Katherine. And fuck Kailey.

It didn’t take longer than fifteen minutes to reach Bone’s house and when I rang her doorbell, I couldn’t help but cry. The door flung open and she enveloped me in her little arms, drawing me inside and kicking the door closed. She took my bag and placed it on her kitchen table, coming back over to me and removing my hat and jacket.

“Wanna tell me what happened?” she said, offering me a seat on her futon, setting herself down next to me.

“I got… I got kicked out.”

“Tell me about it. I’ve been there. Did you tell anyone else?”

“No. I’ll just… I’ll do it later. Not now.”

She nodded, “Want me to cook you anything? I can even run to the store if you want.”

I shook my head, “No thanks. I think I just want to sleep.”

She nodded and motioned for me to sit up, pulling her futon into a bed.

“No, no, I can sleep on the floor,” I said, biting my lip.

“Nonsense! I’m totally fine with getting the floor tonight. Besides, it might do wonders for my back.”

I chuckled, “You’re a great friend, Bones.”

She smiled, “I try.”

I lay down and somehow, she just knew that I had a blanket in my bag. She unzipped it and took the soft thing out, placing it on top of me, giving me a small hug.

“Goodnight, friend,” she said.

“Goodnight.”