Torn

So it was raining. The trenches around was filled to the brim with dirty water and it seemed like they would be floating over any second. The road was dark and slippery when the car lights became clearer trough the stormy weather.

The radio had been making raspy sounds for the last hour or so. The sound shifting slightly. Nothing was said between the two figures sitting there. One of them watching the road carefully for any sign of life. The other one was not paying much attention to it really.

However, the calming noise from the rain was soon shifting into scrambling thunder.

“Why the fuck are you such a damn cock?” The shorter man’s brows furrowed into a deep frown as he fixed his eyes on the driver.

“What? I thought you liked cocks.” The other man answered before he thought about it.

“Here we go again. Why can’t you just listen to me one time without replying with such a cocky answer?” The annoyance was show clearly at the man’s features, as the other man gripped the steering wheel tighter.

“I listen, duh.. Why can’t you see that I try to get rid of the tension?” The brunette lifted a brow as he drove a little more violently action towards the gearstick.

“Well its not working right? You tend to fuck up again, Brian. And I’m so fuckin sick of it.” Huffing, the raven lay his feet at the dashboard with a demonstrative sound.

“What?! So I always fuck up now. Well, thank you fuckin much for telling me.” Two chocolate brown eyes now filled with the stinging sensation of hurt.

“What is the matter? Do I not love you enough?! Is that what you are saying? Why can’t you stop bitching me? Its ridiculous. Zacky what have I done?” Confusion clearly showing itself into the air, the other man just huffed again.

“You see? That’s what I’m telling here. You don’t give a fuck, do you? How the hell ain’t you able to see it? Can you probably think of one thing you might have said the last hour? About me? Hmm?” Two emerald eyes closed, the black eyelashes shifting with the eyelids as he desperately fought against the tears.

“Seriously Zacky, I’m asking you, what I have done!” He was almost about to stop the car, but remained his strength and kept driving.

“You..” He stopped, afraid that his voice was going to betray him and start to crack.

“You doubted me. I heard you!” He said a little loader as the other made sign to protest.

“ You told our friend that you didn’t believe I could do it! That I’m not enough..” The tears were now falling from his cheeks while he talked.

“Not enough to do what?” His lover asked, now even more confused.

“Not enough to be everything you need, to support you in every aspect of your life.. To be your future fiancé or husband.” The beauty was now sobbing; his fragile pale skin looked so shimmering when the tears soaked his cheekbones, the light made shifting shades play with his features. The glance in his eyes telling that he was hoping the other would deny it. Nevertheless, he knew the truth anyway, and the thunder was only getting worse as the road got more and more soaked.

“Zacky. I have never doubted you in anyway.” The chocolate-eyed man tugged at his Pantera shirt, trying to find the right words to make the person whom carries his hart to stop crying.

“I was talking about myself.” He finished. Finally. Truth?

“No.” The man was looking down, his black bangs hiding forehead and eyes.

“No, what?” The brunette slowed down, almost stroking the engine.

“I don’t believe you. Well.. I’m too proud to be here.” He said sternly, the hurt cut out different heart shaped pieces out of the others heart. “Stop the car.” It stopped immediately.

The emerald-eyed man straightened up, pulled his hood over his head and opened the car door.

“No, Zacky! Please! Its fucking raining out there, its thundering too!” The driver tried to reach for the shorter man’s arm but missed him, as the other made his decision and moved out of his seat, and out in the penetrating rain.

The door got back in place with a smack.

“Fuck!” he hit the dashboard so the wonderbaum swung dangerously close to fall down.
The smaller figure’s Converse was making wet and sloppy sounds when he walked into the water pools at the roads side. You could wonder how he managed to not make little pools himself when he cried those tears. Man, how can someone get so hurtful?

The trail of tears is making deep holes in everyone’s hearts.

While someone just watch. Another tear torn hearts apart.

The wind blows even colder against the humans skin, the aching knowledge of what once was about to begin. It’s now torn.

The car door finally squeaked open as the slightly taller figure found his way out in the rain.
A smooth voice called his lover’s name several times but he couldn’t greet any answer at all.
“Where did you go?” He stood still and just felt the storm become more powerful, the wind blew strong waves of rain into his face and the eyeliner made its own black rivers down his high cheekbones. Defeatless he fell to his knees, face in hands.

-Flashback-

Strong hands had a death grip around the edge of Matt Sander’s coffee table.

A brown haired man stare down into his own reflection as the glass table worked its magic like a mirror. “What if.. He can’t be able to make the other happy? What if that’s all he want to do, and he can’t because he will never be good enough? What if he disappoint? What if… he can’t be everything he need to be?” He looked up into his friend’s hazel eyes, seeing the understanding but also the speechlessness.

“He ain’t good enough.”

The listener left the keyhole faster than he should. He didn’t hear the friends answer. Neither his lover’s.

-End of flashback-

So what now, eh? The other man is walking among the trees, and can be stroke by lightning any minute or second, while the other is broken and torn?
Cruel world.

The Panterashirt-wearing man eventually started the car. He began to drive slowly, as he looked out for Zacky.

Finally he saw the soaked figure walking in the gutter. He opened the window.
“Zee! Please, Zacky! I love you, and I don’t want you to get sick! Damn it, I’m so sorry baby! And I was actually speaking the truth! What I told Matt was about me! It was me that doubted myself, god you are so amazing! I just want to be good enough for you! Zacky.. Please..”

The other man didn’t give any sign at giving in anytime soon, and it drove the other insane!
“You promise?” Two penetrating emerald green eyes made their way from the ground and into the chocolate colored orbs that gazed with such a sad feeling to them.

“Do you promise that you are telling me the truth?” He demanded, hands on his hips.

The sight could only make the brunette love the other more, as the sassy side of his lover showed its full blossom. Despite the situation, he couldn’t help but smile slightly In the corner of his mouth.

“Why are you smiling?” More curiosity than a snarl. “You are just so amazing.” The brunette made a loving sigh, tilting his head just an inch.

“You are the most amazing man I’ve ever met. How can I not smile when I see you? How can I not cry when you cry? And how can I not love you?” His tears dripped warm droplets at his t-shirt. They made the worn out t-shirt blacker in an undefined pattern of spots.

That was all it took for the emerald green man to open the door and slowly let himself fall into the strong tattooed arms. The artistic photograph of two lovers in each other’s arms make such a beautiful cliché, but this time it didn’t happen right away.

“ Why would you doubt yourself Bri?” was the question he popped instead.

“You are too perfect, to flawless-“

“Shhh!” The raven haired man just bent over and placed his snake-bitten lips at the other man’s thin curved ones. “That would do.” He smiled at him. “No, baby. I don’t want to hear it. Never again.” He said firmly as he took the other man into his arms, placing him at his lap and kissed his temple, as he hugged him hard to his chest. “You are my love, and that’s what couts for me. Just don’t change. Thats all I’m asking.”