Bloom

February

As Reading Week entered it’s fifth day, I found myself sitting in a coffee shop off campus listening to Penny talk about how she’d gone home for two days and had spent the whole time arguing with her mum about one thing or another until she decided that London was a far better place to be and hopped on the next train back. I sipped my coffee, trying to stay focused on what she was saying, but my phone was blowing up with texts from three different people and it was getting increasingly more difficult to ignore the notifications racking up on the screen.

Finally, when it seemed like Penny had reached an end to her story, I slipped my phone into my back pocket and pushed my chair back. “I’ll be back in a sec.”

I ducked around the corner, where the bathrooms were, and unlocked my phone to see that the majority of the texts were from Harry, chronicling Niall’s morning routine in creepy detail, though he hadn’t specified his reason for being there. But that was quickly cleared up by the next series of messages, this time from Jillian. I read through them slowly, feeling the anxiety rise further in my chest with every little text-filled bubble.

have u checked twitter?

did he tell u?

i still don’t like what u and harry are doing but pls tell me u know abt this

Jillian had knocked on my door about five minutes after Harry left, looking absolutely furious. The argument that followed wasn’t one I was particularly proud of, but I didn’t understand why she was so upset that Harry and I had slept together. Her justification was that she knew him better than I did, and that whatever we were doing was just going to end up badly for me. I got that she was being protective, I even appreciated it a bit, but the way she’d turned up guns blazing without even waiting for me to explain was intrusive and overbearing. And after I had, she calmed down a little, but not to the point of accepting what was going on. It was like she couldn’t comprehend the fact that I was okay with casual sex, like the idea of me doing something she would do (I mean, Jillian hooked up with a lot of people and I didn’t care because that was her business) was unacceptable.

The last message came with a link to some tabloid website. Frowning, I tapped on it and watched as a series of photos of Niall and Harry at some club filled the screen. That explained why he was at the Irishman’s house, and why he’d declined my offer to hang out last night.

But several of the photos weren’t just of Harry and Niall getting thoroughly wasted and having a laugh with their friends (exactly how Niall had gotten permission to party while recovering from knee surgery was beyond me). The last of them featured a trio — Harry, Niall, and a girl with platinum blonde hair — climbing into a black car. It wasn’t fair to assume she was with Harry, because there was a 50/50 chance that she was with Niall, but that didn’t stop me from wondering. I mean, we’d been together just two days ago, it seemed like overkill to be going at it this often.

I was dialling Harry’s number before I even registered what was happening, and I glanced around the corner while lifting the phone to my ear, just to check that Penny wasn’t getting suspicious.

“Mooorning,” he hummed. “I’ve got the worst headache, you would not bel—“

“Did you fuck that girl?”

“I—“ Harry started, his voice cutting out as he sighed. “You saw the photos. And you immediately thought I was going to shag her?”

“No,” I corrected. “I thought you might do that. So, did you?”

“Niall did. Very loudly, by the way. Amazing how can still pull while sober and on crutches. I would’ve gone home if I wasn’t too pissed to stand up straight,” Harry answered. “And one more thing, if you have so little faith in me that you think I’d sleep with other girls right now then you aren’t as smart as you think you are.”

I banged my forehead against the wall, and it hurt a lot more than I expected, resulting in a tiny (yet extremely embarrassing) whimper to fall from my lips.

“Imogen? What was that noise?”

“Nothing,” I said. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to be clingy, if someone can even be clingy in this situation. I mean, we never did talk about if we could see other people.”

“Let’s not see other people,” Harry said immediately.

“Okay then. Problem solved.”

“That’s it?”

“You’re the one who said keep it simple,” I reminded him, stepping out of the hallway and heading back to the table. “Look, I’ve gotta go. I’m with a friend.”

“Wait!” Harry cried, his voice cracking, still thick with sleep. “Can I see you later?”

“Who knows. Maybe I’ll blow you off and paint the town red with Jillian.”

“And she’ll abandon you to shag some blonde?”

I grinned, sliding into my seat across from Penny. “Jillian’s been into gingers lately, actually. Know any?”

“Well, Ed’s a top bloke, but he’s got a girlfriend I’m afraid.”

“Shame. I’m hanging up now. Don’t send me any pictures of Niall showering.”

“Headed to the bathroom as we speak.”

“Goodbye,” I groaned.

“Hang on a second, yeah? I left my jacket at your dorm, can you bring it the next time you come round?”

“Maybe I’ll sell it instead. Isn’t that thing worth, like, £500?”

“Try £3000.”

I almost dropped my phone. “Jesus fucking Christ,” I breathed. I dropped my voice to a whisper, glancing up through my lashes at Penny in hopes that she wasn’t listening in. She wasn’t, or it didn’t look like she wasn’t, and her head was bent down as she scrolled through something on her phone. “There’s a £3000 jacket under my bed?”

“It would seem so, because I don’t remember leaving with it on.”

I sat back, still trying to digest the outrageous price of Harry’s (probably custom) coat that he’d worn to the Burberry Prorsum on Monday, that was now in a heap on the floor of my dorm room. “Okay, um…I’ll take it with me next time I see you.”

“Thank you,” he said. There was a pause, while neither of us said anything. “Are you still with your friend?”

“Yeah. Gotta go.”

“Byeeee,” Harry mumbled, and I ended the call while he was still making noise.

Penny raised her eyebrows. “Still friends with Harry Styles?”

Something like that. “Uh, yeah. He’s kinda lame, to be honest. Not much under that massive hair except his equally massive ego.”

I was joking, but my lacklustre delivery — the fact that my tone wasn’t even wry enough to sound witty at all was a little disappointing — caused the words to drift down to the table where it sat, ignored. The whole coat thing was making me feel weird.

“Hey, d’you come with me to check out this bookstore a few blocks away?” Penny asked suddenly. “I’ve been wanting to go there for the longest time, but we’ve always got so much work to do so I never get a chance.”

“I’m not much of a reader,” I admitted. “Unless books about black holes count.”

Penny grinned. “You really are fully committed to Astrophysics, aren’t you?”

I shrugged, not much inclined to answer.

“Well, they’ve got loads of sci-fi, and their non-fiction section has, apparently, a really wide range. It’s not all self help books, right? I’m sure there’s something in there for you.”

The third set of messages on my phone were from Matt, wondering if I wanted to lie around his flat and watch movies on this chilly Wednesday, because he was keen on doing a Back to the Future marathon and Silas wouldn’t dare watch something so utterly geeky.

But Penny looked hopeful, and maybe it was because none of her friends were in town and I was the only person she had to hang out with, or maybe I was just imagining things. Truth be told, I hardly spent time with anyone in Astrophysics other than Elliott, and even then all we did was study, so broadening my social horizons didn’t seem like a bad idea. At least she’d understand what I was saying, unlike the majority of my other friends.

“Okay, yeah,” I said, and she smiled widely. “Sounds cool.”

We took our coffees and headed out, Penny leading the way to this mysterious book shop. I rummaged around in my pockets while we walked, wondering if I actually had any money on me in case I found a book I liked, having left Astor with the impression that I’d be paying a few pounds for coffee and that was it. I did actually remember to bring my wallet, but I also found an absurd number of receipts, gum wrappers, and bobby pins as well. I tossed out the receipts and wrappers and kept the bobby pins, because I’d been trying to find some for days, little did I know they were all hiding in those massive coat pockets.

When we arrived, I knew immediately that this was the type of place you imagined bookshops should be like. Shelves went from floor to ceiling, but the books were stacked in every crack and crevice available, and there were dozens more lining the ground on either side of the narrow passages that wound through the store. It was two levels, but the staircase was barely navigable with the books that were piled up on each step.

There were little signs hanging from the ceiling that looked like those ransom notes from movies: letters cut out from magazines and pasted onto a piece of paper. Penny informed me she’d be in the literature section and disappeared round the corner. Rather than look through sci-fi novels I’d probably never read, I decided to explore this maze of a book shop. The organization of it made me more curious than anything.

Every once in a while I came across a bean bag chair shoved into a corner, books stacked around it. Fairy lights hung off the bookshelves, casting the reading nook into a warm glow, making you want to throw yourself onto the cushion and pull out any random book.

I found the cashier after about ten minutes of searching. The placement of the desk wasn’t clear to me, but like everything else here, it had probably been put there after very careful thought. A girl was sat behind the desk, tortoiseshell cat-eye glasses pushed up into her electric blue hair while she peered down at her phone. There were books on the desk, too, and a whole shelf with what I assumed were holds, judging by the little receipts stuck in each tome. The girl looked up as I approached, her expression not changing from its state of boredom.

“’Lo,” she said in a bored voice. “Are ye gettin’ somethin’ or what?”

“Uh, no,” I replied, stepping back. “I was just looking around.”

The girl raised her eyebrows, watching me with an impatient expression, like I was wasting her time just by standing there. I frowned and continued down the path between the shelves, wondering what her problem was.

I was staring at the ground, hands in my pockets, when I went around a corner and nearly collided with Penny, who had her arms full of books. Some looked like they were about to fall apart, others brand new. “Need a hand?” I asked with a grin.

She unloaded about half the books into my hands, and we went over to the till together. The blue-haired girl gave me a suspicious look that I ignored, trying very hard not to roll my eyes.

On our way out, my phone buzzed with another text from Matt.

Harry just showed up. Please save me from having to answer all his stupid questions during the film !

“Hey, do you like Back to the Future?” I asked Penny, glancing up at her from the screen.

“Sure. Why?”

“A couple friends of mine are watching the trilogy. Asked if I wanted to join them,” I said. “D’you wanna come?”

“Er,” she stammered, tucking a strand of blonde hair behind her ear. “Are they from our program?”

I shook my head. “Matt’s in Biochem, though.”

“Wouldn’t it be weird if I was there?”

“Hell no!” I exclaimed. My reasons for inviting her were a little selfish, because I wanted somebody to talk to who wouldn’t spend the whole time teasing or staring intensely at me. “Harry’s usually in a mood, but he can be nice if you hit him hard enough.”

“Harry,” Penny repeated, slowly. “As in…Harry Styles. Who you talked to earlier.”

“That would be him,” I nodded, smiling hopefully.

“You’re sure it won’t be weird?” she asked, sounding a little more eager.

“Of course not, they’ll love you.”

Penny grinned, adjusting the strap of her tote bag, now fully loaded with books. “That’s probably an overstatement, but let’s go.”

Because Penny wanted to stop at her place before we went to Matt’s, not wanting to drag her books around for longer than she had to, it took an extra half hour for us to get there. We ended up hopping on the Tube purely out of laziness, and I was sent a dozen Snapchats from Harry of him lying on the couch, of Matt eating a donair, and of Silas flipping him off as he left.

I knocked on the door, throwing what I hoped was a reassuring smile over my shoulder at Penny, but whether it was more for her or myself I couldn’t be sure. The door opened to reveal Matt, dressed in a retro Marvel shirt and what I thought were a nicer pair of his jeans, but my brain was probably making false connections just so I wouldn’t get too self conscious about the fact that I was wearing a skirt.

“Hey,” I said, as he stepped aside to let Penny and I in. “This is Penny, she’s in my program.”

“Nice to meet you, I’m Matt,” he said, smiling over my head at her. We came into the main room, to the lovely sight of Harry sprawled on the sofa with a pillow cradled between his arm and head. I half suspected he was asleep, until he tilted his head slightly and blinked lazily at us.

“Hiiiii,” he drawled. Then, after a second, noticed that there was a third person standing before him. Harry sprung up and walked over to us with one hand outstretched, the other tucked behind his back. “I’m Harry.”

Penny was impressively calm. She shook Harry’s hand without batting an eyelash, smiling politely. “Penny.”

Harry raked his fingers through his hair, gaze flicking to me. In the five days since we started this whole ‘friends with benefits’ thing, we’d slept together twice, but had yet to try out the friends part.

“Drink?” Matt asked, raising his eyebrows at Penny and I.

“Coffee,” I said, while Penny shook her head.

“You know where everything is.”

I rolled my eyes at him. After ignoring me, Matt offered to take Penny’s coat and invited her to sit down, playing the role of host so I wouldn’t have to worry about doing it for him. On my way to the kitchen I knew Harry was following me, and for once I was glad for his weird habit of doing this because we needed to figure out a course of action.

All I could think about was how soft his hair had been on Monday, and how I’d worn that strange mesh sweater of his that had sleeves going at least a foot past my fingertips while Harry drew patterns on my legs and traced each invisible spiral with his lips.

“Just to be clear, I’m not here because I heard you were coming,” Harry said as he slouched against the counter to my left, arms folded over his chest. He poked at the floor with a socked foot, frowning.

“Didn’t think you were,” I replied evenly.

Harry rubbed his bottom lip with his thumb, nodding. “Good, yeah. I’m going to take a guess and say you haven’t got my jacket?”

“Unfortunately not,” I said, measuring out coffee grounds into a filter. “I was at Costa with Penny when I called you, didn’t get a chance to stop at home before we came here. And by the way, who’s shirt are you wearing?”

Harry glanced at the black material covering his torso. It strained against his shoulders and the v-neck collar wasn’t at all Harry’s style.

“Borrowed it off Silas,” he said. “He left like five minutes before you got here. Mine smelled of alcohol and bad decisions.”

“Thought you didn’t make any,” I murmured, side-eyeing him.

“The bad decision was going out in the first place,” Harry said. “Now I’ve been papped with Niall and that blonde and the threesome rumour will be stirring, when I could’ve spent it in my own bed with far more preferable company.”

“Oooh, don’t tell Niall.” I switched on the coffee maker and turned around. Harry smirked, shifting his body until he was leaning into me, his face dangerously close to mine. I gave him a serious look, placing a hand on his chest. “Careful.”

“‘M being careful,” Harry mumbled, dropping his forehead onto my shoulder for the briefest of moments before inhaling sharply and stepping back. His familiar contemplative frown returned. “I like your scarf.”

I held onto the silky material defensively. “Oh, hell no. You are not going to put this on your head.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.”

“I can see you plotting,” I said, narrowing my eyes at him.

Harry blinked innocently. “Not here for you, remember?”

“And I’m not here for you.”

“Good.”

“Good.”

“Sooo,” Harry said, drawing out the word. “I’ve got the Brits tomorrow. There’s all these after parties and I’ve already said I’ll go to one, but I thought maybe I could see you after?”

It felt like a business transaction, but that was the point, I guess. “At your house this time. I don’t need the pressure of another 3K jacket lurking in my room.”

“You know the security code, yeah? And where I keep the spare key?”

“You want me to go early?”

“Seems easiest,” he shrugged. “I can get Stan to pick you up, if you like. Then he’ll just nip over and get me from the after party.”

“Sure, whatever,” I grabbed a mug from the cupboard, keeping my back to Harry and watching the coffee drip slowly into the pot instead.

“Imogen?”

“Hmm?”

“Everything all right?”

“Awesome. Great. Yes.”

“Imogen.”

His fingers brushed against my elbow and I jerked back, more out of reflex than anything, but it made Harry sigh all the same.

“If there’s something wrong, I need you to tell me. This isn’t going to work if we don’t say when something feels off.”

I released my white-knuckled grasp on the empty mug and turned to look at Harry, who of course had moved right up into my personal space again. “I’m just not used it. This. Making appointments to have sex is kinda weird, right?”

“Stop thinking about how it’s weird, then,” Harry said patiently. His gaze was steady, not too overwhelming, and it made me breathe a little easier. “Now get your coffee and let’s watch some fucking eighties films, yeah?”

Penny and Matt were deep in discussion about some Nobel Prize winning chemist I’d never heard of when Harry and I stepped out of the kitchen. They were sitting awfully close together, Penny anchored against the armrest while Matt leaned in and gesticulated wildly while describing some major breakthrough in the field of organic chemistry that probably went completely over everyone else in the room’s heads, but Penny nodded along despite looking confused.

“Did you know that was going to happen?” Harry asked at my shoulder, nodding at the pair.

“No idea,” I replied honestly. “I mean, I figured they’d get along, but this is impressive.”

“Matt doesn’t…fancy you anymore, does he?”

“I don’t think so? It hasn’t come up in a while, and he’s been looking around, so that’s got to mean he’s over it, right?”

“Could be,” Harry shrugged.

“What are you two whispering about over there?” Matt asked suddenly, twisting his upper body to narrow his eyes at us.

“Just trying to determine if you’ve surpassed Imogen here on the Nerd Scale,” Harry said easily, striding around me. He flopped down on the far end of the couch, spreading his legs wide and clasping his hands in his lap. “But obviously that isn’t possible.”

“If this means I’m smarter than Matt, then I won’t take offence,” I said, following in Harry’s steps. I sat between him and Matt, bringing my legs up to sit criss-crossed and ensuring that my skirt was carefully arranged.

Matt scoffed and got up to put in the movie. While he was fiddling with the DVD player, Penny slid over and took a quick glance toward Harry before whispering to me. “Does this seem a little double-datey to you?”

“Just because the number of each gender happens to be equal doesn’t make it a date,” I answered. “Besides, if it were, Matt and Harry would clearly be one of the couples.”

“Correct,” Harry agreed, even though neither of us had thought he was listening.



Halfway through Back to the Future II, Silas returned home. He stalked straight to his room and slammed the door loud enough to make me jump above the sound of the movie. Matt kept on glancing toward his flatmate’s room, as though he was waiting for Silas to come out smiling like the whole dramatic entrance was just a fluke.

It started to bug me almost immediately, but I managed to hold off for over twenty minutes before groaning and pausing the movie. “Just go talk to him already.”

“He won’t talk,” Matt said.

I rolled my eyes and got to my feet, stepping over Harry’s long legs on my way to Silas’s room. Somebody pressed play again and Michael J. Fox’s voice filled the apartment. I knocked on Silas’s door, heard a muffled response, and took that as an invitation to poke my head in.

“Hey, you,” I said, attempting to discern Silas’s body from the heap of clothes and books piled on the bed. “Mind if I come in?”

His words were once again muted by the pillow he’d probably shoved his face into, and I slipped inside, shutting the door gently. I made my way over to Silas’s bed, stepping around the random articles of black clothing thrown everywhere, eventually finding myself perched at the foot of the bed.

“What’s with the sulking?”

Silas rolled over so that he could speak properly. “My parents want me to break it off with Nick.”

“What? Why?”

“They don’t trust him after last time,” he sighed. “I tried to tell them what I’ve figured out on my own since then, that I was too obsessed with my own feelings to think about his, but they won’t listen.”

“Well, you gotta understand that they’re just looking out for you,” I said. “They love you, Silas, they’re your parents.”

“But it’s not just that,” he explained. “I know there’s at least some part of them that doesn’t want me to be with Nick because he isn’t exactly welcomed amongst their peers. He’s too controversial.”

“Nick Grimshaw is not controversial,” I rolled my eyes. “Obnoxious, definitely. But that’s just ridiculous for them to try and stop you from dating him just because he doesn’t fit in with all the doctors and lawyers and CEOs they hang out with. As long as you and Nick are happy, and you know what you’re doing, then everything should be fine. Your parents are gonna think and say what they want because they’re your parents and that’s what they do. But you shouldn’t just ignore them, okay? Keep trying to make them see the situation from your view.”

“Who knew you, of all people, would give such good advice on how to deal with others.”

“I’ve been getting a bit of practice in conflicting opinions and questionable decision-making lately.”

Silas sat up, watching me carefully. “Something going on that I don’t know about?”

“Loads of things, probably,” I replied with a shrug. “Does anyone know if Jillian and Niall hooked up on Harry’s birthday? Nope, but maybe it’s a factor in both of them having a series of one-night stands since then? I mean, Niall’s on crutches and he’s still scoring.”

“You’re dodging my question. Harry’s quite good at that; did you learn it from him?”

By his suspicious gaze, I guessed that Silas saw right through my calm facade. “I’m trying to discuss a situation with you that neither of us knows much about here, Silas. Or would you rather dissect every aspect of your ruined reputation in the world of luncheons and fundraisers?”

He scowled. “Just go watch your stupid film and leave me be.”

“That’s what I thought.”