Fight or Flight

“Open door left!”

Pretend raids and night operations were her favorite part of training before deployment. It gave her the adrenaline rush that she loved.

“Open door right!”

Veronica and her teammates made their way through the building the units used for “raids.” They practiced “clearing” it for safety and any enemies.

“Scottie, door on your left!”

She made a sharp turn into the doorway on her left, not giving Nathaniel’s command a second thought. If he said it, she did it. Being in the military taught her how to be very obedient.

“Clear,” She shouted after she shot two bullets through the cardboard cutout of an enemy. Her eyes were trained to automatically look for a weapon in a person’s hands. She retreated from the small room, jumping back into formation with her team.

“Open door left and right!”

The team split up, taking both doors. She and Cherry took the door on the left, their bullets crossing paths to shoot two separate enemies.

“Move, move!”

The rush was the best part. Simulated or not, anytime she was in action made the adrenaline rush through her entire body.

“Make an entryway,” Nathaniel ordered to his team.

It took all but fifteen seconds for Trench to attach a brick of explosives to the wall. Marines were too cool and too careful to risk walking through booby-trapped entryways. They always made their own doors.

“Three, two, one.” Trench’s thumb hovered over the detonator. “Execute!”

She thanked God she was wearing her earplugs at the familiar sound of an explosion. Orange fire blasted through the wall, pieces of sheetrock and wood flying through the air. She held her breath through the smoke, waving her a hand in front of her to clear it. The other personnel would put out the fire with extinguishers afterwards.

“Who turned off the fucking lights?” Veronica groaned, thrown off by the sudden change in the environment. She quickly turned on the flashlight that accompanied her rifle, getting back into the zone.

“Go, go!”

The pops of more bullets echoed through the building.

“Next room, let’s go!”

Veronica followed, putting multiple bullets into the cardboard enemies. It was hard to see in the dark with just the narrow light of the flashlight. “Subject down.”

“Last man out!”

“Last room!”

Veronica kicked in the door of the final room of the course, pointing and firing her gun at the last two cardboard enemies.

“All clear,” Nathaniel announced to his team, lowering his weapon.

The team hollered in relief. They’d already done the course three times, aiming for a perfect raid. Veronica’s gun hung at her side and she removed her glasses to wipe them of dust and debris.

“Good, good.” Collier checked all of the rooms for correctness. He’d agreed to do a couple of test runs with the team before they actually left, just like the old days. He stopped. “Who shot this woman?”

He shined his flashlight on the cutout of a woman holding a baby. Two bullet holes were through the woman’s cardboard head.

“Who fuckin’ shot this woman?” He yelled after he got no response. “Good shot, but wrong target.”

“Uh, my bad,” Veronica called out, making a face in the darkness. There was no way she could tell if the cutout was a man or woman in the dark. She squinted when Collier’s flashlight shined directly into her eyes.

“If we leave dead women and kids, the mission is a failure,” He said sternly with a disdainful look.

She swallowed and glanced downwards. “Yes, Sir.”

He clicked his flashlight off, walking away. “Okay, back to the first room. We’re going to keep running this thing until we get it right. Watch the hands. You don’t see a gun or weapon, you don’t shoot, understood?”

Veronica sighed, cursing herself under her breath. Her teammates looked at her with bitter and tired faces.

“God dammit, Scottie.”

“And we’re back to square one. Scottie, watch who you kill.”

Veronica held her tongue, not wanting to start an argument. They were all exhausted and her mistake only made them work more. She mentally scolded herself, wondering how she missed the hands; how she couldn’t see that the woman was not a threat.

“Don’t beat yourself up over it,” Nathaniel murmured, clapping a hand on her shoulder. “It was a mistake, and that’s why we train.”



Veronica trudged into the house just after eight o’clock. Another day out of the office and into the field. She dropped her bag by the front door lazily. She followed the multiple voices to the living room. There was Matt and the rest of the band, huddled around the coffee table. They were all bickering and talking over each other.

She hadn’t seen the guys in a couple of weeks. Christmas and the New Year came and went quickly. She and Matt had spent the majority of the holidays alone together. She was new to exchanging gifts with people other than her parents, Nathaniel, and Audrey, but she tried. She remembered how nervous she got when Matt unwrapped a jewelry box on Christmas morning. She remembered how he took the delicate, Tibetan necklace from the box and placed it around her neck. He said that the necklace was for good luck. She remembered how his lips tasted like liquor at midnight on New Years, a few days prior.

“Uh…” She knocked her knuckles on the wall to get their attention. “Hey, guys.”

“Hey, babe,” Matt said, not even acknowledging her. He still stared down at the sheet of paper in his hands. She wondered what he was looking at. He checked his watch. “It’s that late already?”

“Scottie, long time, no see,” Brian smiled at her.

“Hey, Brian.” She waved at the group. They all greeted her, including shy Arin. “Zack, Johnny, Arin.”

“Where’ve you been?” Johnny asked. “We’ve been here for like, hours now.”

“I’ve been working,” She answered weakly, her eyes flickering to Matt. “The days seem to be getting longer.”

“They really are,” Matt mumbled under his breath.

Veronica caught his comment, wondering if he was in a bad mood and why.

“We ordered pizza. There’s another box in the kitchen if you want some,” Zacky told her.

“Thanks.” Pizza didn’t sound too bad to her right now. She silently left the living room to go to the kitchen, leaving them to whatever they were doing.

She flipped open the cardboard Pizza Hut box, staring down at the round, cheesy goodness. Her mouth watered at the buttery, garlic crust with melted cheese and crumbled bacon on top. Her stomach growled at the sight. She held a triangular slice and folded it in half, ready to stuff her mouth.

“I didn’t know if you were coming so the guys came over.” She heard the refrigerator open.

She paused in mid-bite. “Sorry I’m late.”

“You said that last week,” He muttered, uncapping a beer with the bottle opener. He stared at her. “What’s up with all this training? What happened to working regular hours?”

Her brain delayed the processing of his words, trying to register what was happening. She couldn’t believe that he was actually upset about her working late.

“Things change, Matt,” She vaguely explained. She didn’t know what to say to him. “Sometimes we work office hours, and sometimes we work… overtime.”

“You’ve been working overtime a lot lately,” He accused.

“Okay, where is this coming from?” She dropped the pizza slice back into the box, placing her hand on her hip. She was really annoyed now. “Why are you so mad?”

“First, you left for a week without notice,” He began. “Fine, you came back. You worked ‘late’ the day before Christmas. New Years you worked most of the day and still came home late.”

She bit the inside of her cheek. First, she was chastised by her team. Now, it was Matt who aggravated her. It sounded like the roles were reversed to her. It was like she was the working man and he was the stay-at-home woman. She couldn’t believe that he was acting like such a…bitch.

“All I’m asking for is a notice or a call,” He added.

“Matt,” She stopped him from talking any further, “I told you we don’t get many notices.”

“I know you know some things,” He accused.

“Think whatever you want,” She shook her head in disbelief. She was not going to have their first argument with his friends in the next room. “This is my job, and sometimes I actually have to work and train for this fucking country. I don’t have the luxury of making my own schedule and doing what I want when I’m not on stage.”

That shut him up for a few seconds. He opened his mouth, speechless and gazing at her apologetically. “Veronica…”

She sucked her teeth, rolling her eyes at him. She was not used to this relationship stuff. She wasn’t used to having someone on her back over coming home late. She was used to coming home whenever the hell she pleased and she didn’t have to hear a word about it.

“Save it, Matt. Go back to the guys, I’m going upstairs to change and then I’m going out.”