Fight or Flight

“You wanna take a shower with me?” Veronica asked, looking over at Matt beside her.

It had been a long, sleepless night as they made love again and again. Veronica was surprised at Matt’s stamina and how easily he could be ready for another round in so little time. They’d spent the last hour holding each other silently, neither ready to leave the other just yet.

“No, you go ahead,” Matt declined her offer. “I’ll shower after you get out.”

“Oh. Okay,” Veronica said quietly. She rolled out of bed, grabbing her robe. She slipped her arms through it and tied it at her waist. She figured Matt just needed a minute to himself. She could tell how much more despondent he got as the minutes passed. “Well, I’ll be out soon.”

She padded into his bathroom, the tiled floor cold beneath her bare feet. She grabbed a fresh washcloth and towel, setting the towel on the side of the sink. She pulled open the sliding glass door of the shower and turned the knobs. What she really needed was a nice, cool shower. She was still hot and sweaty from their time between the sheets.

She dropped her robe on the floor before stepping under the cool shower and sliding the door closed behind her. She washed her hair first, foaming and massaging her tangled locks. She closed her eyes to avoid getting shampoo in them. She rinsed the strong, fruity shampoo from her hair and replaced it with conditioner.

As she began to wash her body, she knew that this was it. She would be leaving to go overseas in just about five hours. She was leaving to do what she loved, but leaving who she loved at the same time. But she didn’t have time for emotional breakdowns, she had to get ready quickly.


“You ready?” Matt watched her from the bed as she buttoned the last button on her camouflage jacket. Watching her get ready in her uniform was always fascinating to him.

“I’m ready,” Veronica confirmed, turning away from the mirror. She held her matching hat in her hand. “Come on.”

Matt got up from the bed, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his basketball shorts. Veronica followed him out of the bedroom. She turned around suddenly, just to get one last look at the room she’d spent so much time in during the past few months. This was the bedroom that she would hopefully return to in nine months. This was the bedroom they’d made love in for the first time. It held good memories.

She found it in herself to finally turn away and follow Matt down the hall and down the stairs. She didn’t have much to take with her; it wasn’t like packing for a vacation. She was only allowed to take three bags and man, were those three bags heavy. She’d filled them with everything she could fit that was permitted.

“Oh, I have something for you,” She told Matt. She walked over to her army green duffle bag, unzipping it. She pulled out a round, black clock.

“You got me a clock?” Matt asked, confused by her gift to him.

“Yes, but look,” She laughed at his reaction, pointing at the sign on the clock. It read ‘Afghanistan Time Now’. She watched amused as Matt checked his watch, noticing that the time on the clock and the time on his watch were different. “Now you’ll be able to tell what time it is where I am.”

“Thanks, babe.” He took the clock from her hands. It was the typical office clock with a piece of paper taped onto it. It was nothing too special, but it’s always the thought that counts.

“You’re welcome. Happy Valentine’s Day,” She grinned. The clock was something that he probably didn’t need but she wanted him to have it anyway. He could just have easily Googled the time in Afghanistan while she was away, but she herself often wondered about the time difference. It was hard not to imagine what she would be doing at a certain time away from home.

“Some Valentine’s Day this is,” Matt shook his head. He set the clock down on the coffee table. Maybe he’d put it up when he came back.

“I think we had a pretty good night if you ask me,” She smirked. She swung her backpack over her shoulder. It felt light now, but it would be a whole lot heavier once she was issued her gear at the base. She bent over to grab the handle of another bag when Matt stopped her.

“If you’ve gotta carry this for hours, then at least let me carry it to the car,” He volunteered.

“Okay,” She shrugged, letting go of the handle of the bag. The last two bags were full of toiletries, snacks, clothes, and any other entertainment, like a few books and her laptop. “Come on, then.”

“Are you sure you have everything?” Matt asked.

“I’m sure,” She nodded. She’d double-checked several times.

“Alright.” He grabbed her two bags, walking towards the front door. He ushered her out first, locking the front door behind them. He placed her bags into the backseat of his car as she buckled up in the passenger seat. He went around to the driver’s side, getting in and turning the key in the ignition. The engine hummed lowly.

He backed out of the driveway onto the street. Veronica looked back at the lavish home that she shared with him most of the time. Her growling stomach overpowered the sudden tightness in her chest.

“Can we get some coffee and breakfast on the way?” She asked as he drove.

Matt’s sullen eyes were focused on the road as he spoke. “You can get whatever you want.”


They’d luckily beat the rush hour traffic towards base. Although, the roads did get more and more congested as they got closer. Other servicemen and their families had nearly taken the same exact route to the base. Matt pulled into the parking lot that security had directed him to, finding a parking spot.

“I’ve gotta go,” Veronica said, leaning over the console for a quick kiss. “I don’t think my parents are here yet, but just follow all the other families to the waiting area, okay?”

“Alright,” Matt took in her instructions, glancing at the crowd of tired-looking civilians. It was expected this early in the morning, and the sun hadn’t even risen yet.

“I’ve gotta get my gear and go through processing,” She explained to him. The deployment process was a lot like getting through an airport. She got out of the car, taking all three bags from the backseat and shutting the car door. “I’ll see you in a while, baby.’’

“See you,” He said dryly. He watched her carry all three of her bags without a hint of a struggle. He couldn’t help but let out a laugh to himself, shaking his head.

That was his brave, strong girl.


The homesick feeling that was coming on had been shaken off of Veronica the moment she met up with her teammates. After checking in and going through security, they all lounged around in the holding area. Her team would be her family now. They all had to stick together, no matter what.

They were all like excited kids. Some were still too tired to function this early in the morning and the others were bouncing off the walls. Veronica laughed, watching her colleagues dance to some type of electronic, dubstep music. Some people did pre-deployment push-ups and jumping jacks. Some were making last minute phone calls. Whatever they were doing, this was the day. The day the whole company had been waiting for had come surprisingly early.

Veronica leaned back in her chair, anxiously tapping her boot on the floor. The waiting was what caused the butterflies in her stomach. She just wanted to go now. She hated the anticipation; it was the worst.

“Hey, guys, listen up,” The Company Commander ordered. Captain Ben Middendorf was a tall, lean man with a military-style haircut. At thirty-five years old, he had a reputation as being a no non-sense man when it came to fighting enemies.

The 200 or so Marines crowded around him, giving him their undivided attention.

“I know this is you guys’ first time going out with me as Commander,” Middendorf addressed them. “I can assure you that I’m bringing you all back home. I promise, if you do all the right things, we’ll be fine. Keep your mind right ‘cause I know it’s going to be hard.”

Veronica believed in him, but she wasn’t nearly naïve enough to know that they would all come back home. Things happened, and she’d seen enough things to know that no one was ever guaranteed to return. However, she wanted to trust this man. She didn’t know him too well, but she had always heard good things about him. She had to trust him.

“We’re going in with 800 other Marines. The enemy cannot handle a thousand Marines,” He affirmed. “I’m looking forward to this fight because I’m gonna smoke check these fuckers.”

Veronica couldn’t help but smile at his little speech. She could tell that he was serious about taking the enemy down. It made her trust him a bit more.

“Alright, let us pray,” Middendorf said, bowing his head.

The entire company followed his lead, bowing their heads also.

“Dear Lord, protect us as we go out and do battle against the enemy. Protect all the Marines and make sure they get back safe and alive. Give them the abilities of leadership and allow them to make smart decisions on the battlefield. If the enemy decides to engage us in combat, watch over us as we destroy them. Keep us safe so we can get back home to our families. In your name we pray, amen.”

There was a chorus of ‘amens’ from the soldiers.

Middendorf nodded, saluting his group of soldiers. “Let’s get to work, guys.”


“We’re boarding in fifteen,” A voice announced through a bullhorn.

“I guess that’s my cue,” Veronica said, turning to Matt and her family. She could already see the tears rolling down her mother’s face. “Mom, please don’t cry.”

“I’m sorry,” Christine said with a half-hearted laugh, wiping her eyes.

“I’m gonna miss you, Roni.” Gabriel was the first to hug Veronica.

“I’m gonna miss you too, Gabe,” Veronica said, holding onto her baby brother. She looked over her brother’s shoulder at his blonde girlfriend. “You too, Lisa.”

“Veronica, be safe,” Lisa stepped up to hug her after Gabriel.

“I will,” Veronica said out of habit. People always said the same thing.

When the two women let go, Gabriel pulled his girlfriend into his arms. His hand snaked around Lisa’s waist, protecting her from the chilly wind. Veronica wondered if her brother would propose to Lisa while she was away.

“We won’t keep you too long,” Her father said, nodding over towards Matt. He was standing to the side to give the family some privacy. “I think you should talk to him.”

“Yeah,” Veronica nodded. She wrapped her arms around her father. “Bye, Dad.”

“You go out there and kick ass,” He instructed, chuckling but completely serious. “Don’t be a pussy, you hear me?”

“Robert!” Christine scolded her husband.

“I won’t be a pussy, Dad,” Veronica giggled, rolling her eyes. Her father never gave her the traditional ‘I’ll miss you’ speech. He always tried to make light of the situation and tell her to do what she had to do.

“That’s enough you two,” Christine cut in, snatching her daughter up into an embrace. “I love you, baby. Be safe, okay? Call us and if your brother ever teaches us how to use that video-chat thing, call us on there too.”

“Gabe, teach them how to use Skype, please,” Veronica looked over at her brother.

“I taught them last time and they forgot!” He exclaimed.

“Well, teach them again,” Veronica said to her brother. Gabriel mumbled something under his breath.

“Okay, I love you.” Christine kissed her daughter’s cheek.

“Yeah, love you too, Mom,” Veronica said, kissing her mother’s cheek in return. “I’ve gotta get to Matt before I run out of time.”

“Oh, right,” Her mother said, letting go of her daughter.

Veronica walked over to Matt, who was gazing up at the plane. “Hey.”

“That’s a massive plane,” He commented absently, seemingly fascinated by the size of the aircraft.

“It’s gotta fit all of us,” Veronica said, giggling at his cuteness.

“I guess this is goodbye, huh?” He looked down at her. She could see the sleepiness in his hazel eyes.

“Yeah,” Veronica said, licking over her lips. “We’ve gotta board in a few minutes.”

“This is some day, I tell you,” Matt said lowly, more to himself than her.

“Don’t dwell on it too much. I’ll be back before you know it,” She reassured him. She pressed her lips to his, kissing him deeply and passionately. Their mouths meshed together, not caring about anyone else in the vicinity. All that mattered to them was each other and savoring each other’s taste.

“I love you,” Matt said when they pulled away.

“I love you too,” She told him, resting her head against his chest. She’d meant it every time since the first time she said it.

“Come on,” He murmured, kissing her hair.

The two of them walked back towards her family, who were talking amongst themselves. Nathaniel and Audrey began to approach them. They both greeted Veronica’s family and Matt.

“You have to say goodbye to me too,” Audrey teased Veronica, her blonde hair whipping around from the wind. She held Alexander’s small hand in hers.

“You know I wouldn’t leave without saying goodbye,” Veronica told her. She enveloped her close friend. The tightness in her chest and the butterflies in her stomach grew.

“I love you, girl,” Audrey said. “I told Nate to look out for you.”

“He always does,” Veronica agreed, glancing over at her best friend who was talking with her parents.

“Auntie Vee!” Alexander yelled, reaching his arms upwards towards her.

“What’s up, bud?” Veronica picked him up, holding him at her hip.

“You go with Daddy?” The brown-haired boy asked, his blue eyes curious. He fiddled with the straps of her protective vest.

“Yeah, I’m going with Daddy,” Veronica confirmed.

The little boy wiggled out of her hold as she set him on his feet. He ran over to Nathaniel, interrupting his conversation and pulling his father over. “Auntie Vee says she’s going with you, Daddy.”

“Auntie Vee is coming with me,” Nate nodded in confirmation, kneeling down to his son’s level.

Veronica watched as the little boy made the connection between their similar uniforms. “Where are you going, Daddy?”

“Well, Auntie Vee and I are going to fight some bad guys,” Nate told his son, sugar-coating the entire thing.

“Cool!” Alex exclaimed. “I want to go!”

“You can’t, buddy,” Nate said, “but maybe when you’re older. Until then, you’ve gotta protect Mommy from the bad guys.”

“I’ll protect Mommy,” Alex declared, hugging Audrey’s leg.

Veronica laughed at her funny little nephew. She still couldn’t believe that by the time they returned, Nate’s second child would be born already.

“Line up for roll call!” The voice demanded over the bullhorn.

“That’s our cue,” Veronica said, turning back to Matt and her family. She hugged each of them one last time. She took a shaky breath as she hugged and kissed Matt again. He seemingly refused to let go of her. “Matt, I’ve gotta go, baby.”

“I know, but I don’t want you to,” Matt said, pulling away reluctantly.

“No one wants me to, but I have to,” She sighed.

“In all seriousness, just mind your details and make sure nothing happens to you on the dark side,” Her father advised.

“Alright, I’ve gotta go now,” Veronica told them. Oh, what the hell, she thought. She gave Matt another quick kiss, not caring that her parents were there.

“Watch out for my girl,” Robert advised Nathaniel.

“Yes, Sir,” Nate nodded. He placed his hand on Veronica’s shoulder, practically pulling her away from Matt. She placed her backpack over her shoulders, picking up the other two bags.

“Be careful, guys,” Audrey warned. “Don’t come back without the other.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Nate said, kissing Audrey’s lips again and ruffling Alexander’s hair. “I’ll see you soon.”

“Bye!” Veronica called out, looking back at Matt and her family. She could tell the smile on Matt’s face was forced. It physically pained her to leave him. She attempted to shrug the feelings off as she and Nathaniel hauled their luggage. They stood together in the long, single file line while each of the soldiers got their names called and checked off, ready to board.

“Back to bomb-dodging,” Veronica said from behind Nate. She was extremely excited for it. The adrenaline was her favorite part. If she could bottle up the adrenaline she felt in the field and turned them into pills, she’d pop them every day. It was a feeling that she would have liked to feel every day of her life.

“Back to living in a desert full of flies,” Nate said sarcastically, glancing at her over his shoulder.

“Oh, you love it,” Veronica teased. The infestation of flies was just one of the major annoyances of being in combat.

“I hate it,” He said, exasperated before they’d even left just from the mere thought of it.

“I’m kidding,” She laughed at his quick annoyance.

Being that her last name started with an ‘S’, her name was called well after Nathaniel’s. She sighed in relief when her name was finally called. She adjusted her backpack and picked up her bags by the handles, listening to the routine instructions to board the aircraft. She turned around before she got onto the plane, looking at her waving family. She smiled back at them and anxiously bit her lip at the sight of Matt. She turned away from there, stepping inside the dimly lit plane.

This was just another chapter of her life and career beginning.