Fight or Flight

After the show, Veronica waited backstage, seated in a comfortable chair. The band was outside signing, taking photos, and doing whatever else they do for their fans. Matt said they wouldn’t be out too long; a half hour at the most. She waited patiently. She would say ‘hey’ and catch up with them and then be on her way home.

It was quiet backstage for the most part. The band’s crew laughed and talked as they disassembled the equipment and packed up the instruments. There was a subtle ringing in her ears from the two hours of live music. She would manage, she thought. She’d heard louder before.

She offered to help them while she waited for the guys to come back. Jason declined her offer, telling her she didn’t have to help out. It wasn’t her job after all. She nodded. He was right, it wasn’t her job. She’d been so used to an environment of teamwork that she often felt the need to help out. She forgot that in the real world some people didn’t want her help, save for the little old lady she helped at the supermarket that one time.

“You alright?”

Veronica looked up, seeing Matt approach her. He still looked like M. Shadows, with the bandana and backwards cap. His sleeveless t-shirt was wet from sweat.

“Yeah, just waiting for you guys,” She smiled.

“Come on to the lounge,” He nodded his head in the direction of a hallway. “We tried to get back so we wouldn’t leave you waiting. I was hoping you didn’t get tired and ditch us.”

She laughed, slinging the strap of her purse over her shoulder and following him down the hallway. “I wouldn’t ditch you guys.”

Matt opened a door on the left and she followed him into the lounge. The lounge walls were decorated with mirrors, lights, and music memorabilia. There was a mini fridge and a cooler in the corner. The guys were all sprawled on the couches and chairs, except for the young drummer she’d seen earlier.

“Scottie!” They all chorused, most of them with a beer in their hand.

“Hey,” She waved. “In case you forgot, my actual name is Veronica.” She gave them the memo in case that actually had forgotten. It was up to them what they wanted to call her.

Zacky was the first to come up to her and hug her. She embraced his welcome warmly. He smelled like hair gel and cigarettes. He looked the exact same as the last time she saw him. Johnny embraced her after Zacky, still an inch or two shorter than her. Brian was next, bringing his arms around her. He smelled like cologne and cigarettes. She noticed that he no longer had the spiky hairstyle from last time. Now, his hair was styled differently with the side shaved. When he stepped back, she noticed the drummer boy.

“Oh, hello,” She smiled at the boy with a towel around his neck and wet hair.

“Veronica, this is Arin, our new drummer,” Matt explained. “Arin, this is Veronica.”

Veronica shook Arin’s hand. He was significantly younger than the rest of them and seemed like the outcast of the band. He had less tattoos, tanned skin, and a scrawny body. She made a note to ask about Mike later.

“I call the shower next,” Johnny announced, walking into what she assumed was the bathroom.

“You drink?” Matt asked, offering Veronica a beer.

“What makes you think I drink?” She asked.

He shrugged, “I don’t know, a good guess.”

“Because I’m around men all the time,” She stated rather than questioned.

“No, I was just-”

“I’m joking,” She smiled, taking the bottle from him. She sat down on the couch like she’d been there before.

“Oh,” Matt said, grabbing his own beer and taking a seat next to her.

Veronica wasn’t easily offended anymore. She was used to people assuming things about her because she was in the military. Thus, she was around men all the time. She sometimes drank too much, not because she was irresponsible, but because the men in her unit drank excessively too. She trained to be physically fit, not to look good in her jeans, but to not be considered as a weak link. She made rude jokes, not to actually be rude, but because she’d been desensitized by the military culture. To the typical American woman, she was practically a man and to the male soldier, she was practically a girl. She felt equal amongst her unit, but she often found herself wondering where she fell on the spectrum.

She took a swig of her cold beer. “So what have you guys been up to?”

---

“Alright, I’m out,” Johnny announced, putting his hands up.

It was nearing eleven at night.

“Where you going?” Brian asked curiously.

“Lacey wants to have a movie night,” He explained. “I’ll probably be asleep anyway.”

“Wait for me. I’ve gotta head home too,” Brian replied, picking up a backpack and his keys.

Veronica figured they all had significant others. Arin had already left shortly after their meeting to go home to his girlfriend. Johnny and Brian were evidently going home to their girlfriends as well. Sometimes she wished she had that, too.

“It was great to see you again,” Brian hugged Veronica.

“You too,” She replied.

“Yeah, Scottie, don’t disappear on us,” Johnny said. “If you live around here, we wanna see you again.”

“Will do,” She nodded, hugging him too. She said goodbye to them after they said their goodbyes to Zacky.
“What about you? You heading out now?” Zacky asked from across the room.

“I should go soon,” She said. “I want to say goodbye to Matt before I leave.”

As if on cue, the bathroom door creaked open, letting out the steam from the shower. Veronica’s eyebrows gradually rose on her forehead at Matt’s body.

“I forgot my clothes,” He said simply, walking past her and opening his backpack.

He smelled like fresh ocean breeze body wash. Only a towel hung low on his hips, covering his private areas. Veronica tried her hardest not to stare.

“Where’d Johnny and Gates go?” Matt asked, looking in Zack’s direction.

“They just left a few minutes ago,” Zacky answered.

Veronica had seen a lot of men shirtless. None had as many tattoos on their chest as Matt did. She read a line tattooed under his collarbone and took in the form of a giant bat on his stomach. She could tell he worked out a lot by the lines on his stomach. She knew his body was rock solid without even touching him.

“Uh, I was going to head out too,” She spoke up, taking her eyes off of him. She didn’t want to be accused of looking at another woman’s man. She stood up from the couch.

“Oh, really?” Matt asked, finally finding his clothes.

“Yeah, it’s getting late,” She nodded. She threw her empty beer bottle into a recycling bin. “Thanks for the beer.”

“Before you go,” Matt turned around, “take my number.”

“Oh, okay.” Veronica opened up her purse and took her matte black iphone out. “Here.” She handed him her phone for him to save his number.

“It’s under Matt Sanders,” He said. His phone began to ring and he picked it up from the countertop. He pressed a few buttons and returned her phone to her. “Now I have your number, too.”

Veronica slipped her phone into the pocket of her jeans. “Maybe we’ll all get together again sometime.”

She bid her goodbyes to Zacky and Matt, opting not to hug him again because of his lack of clothes on. She found her way out of the building, exiting through a door that led right out to the parking lot. She felt accomplished that she’d got to see the guys again.