Forever and More

[001]

"I can't do this anymore."

A single sentence that was formed by the stringing of various letters to form five words. Five words that, separately, could mean anything. But together – held the power to break his heart into a million tiny pieces as it shrivelled up and slid through the cracks of his ribcage.

Alex Gaskarth sat in the leather reclining chair that they'd been kind enough to provide him with, since he refused to leave and all. He sat motionless, unmoving, merely staring at her as his wide eyes brimmed with tears and disbelief and anger and immense sadness. His mouth closed and opened countless amount of times, but no words could be spoken. He wanted to move, to yell, to kick and scream, to cry, to do something.

But he couldn't. He physically could not.

"Please don't cry," the beautiful young woman who's hand he held in his own pleaded, reaching her free hand up to his face, wiping away at the traitorous tear that rolled down his cheek.

"H-how can I not?" Alex whispered, his voice a breath's higher than a whisper. He shook his head, reaching his free hand to capture hers with it and then press it to his cheek.

"Easy. You just... Be okay." She smiled goofily, instantly making him smile as well.

There was just something about her smile that would make anyone want to smile back. Alex was no exception to the charming grin of hers. If anything, he was affected by it more than anyone else.

"I won't be okay." He whispered again.

"Quit being such a Betty Buzzkill, 'Lex." She teased, realising both of her hands from his own larger ones. "Now come on, I'd very much like to get out of this bloody place. No pun intended." She added as an afterthought, glancing at the blood bag she had hooked up to the IV next to her bed.

Alex managed the smallest of laughs as he shook his head in amusement. He watched as she struggled to get out of bed, whining in annoyance when the metal bracelet she had on her wrist got caught in her hair. How that happened, he didn't know, either. Though amused, he still found himself completely entranced by her. It wasn't what she was doing – because she wasn't really doing anything – but the fact that she still managed to look like the most beautiful human being on Earth while looking like a right mess. Her platinum blonde strands of hair stuck up at odd places, due to how she'd allowed Alex to pull her hair into a ponytail that really just looked like a two year old did it up for her. She had bags under her eyes, her skin was pale and her lips were chapped – but she still looked absolutely perfect to him.

Jordan "Jay" Ryerson.

The girl in question. Young lady, really.

Alex's best friend, his literal other half, his sun, his moon, his world.

He'd grown up with her, back in Essex. They shared the same birthday and their mothers were best friends, thus how they grew up so closely. And surprisingly, they managed to stay in contact, even after the Gaskarths' moved away to Baltimore, across the pond. Their mothers were, after all, best friends, so they sent each other e-mails and sometimes, they sent each other physical letters. Whenever they sent said physical letters, Alex and Jay would pen one down for the other and ship it off, too.

Best friends. Two pieces of a puzzle. A lock and a key. Lovers.

The girl that he'd been through so much with. The girl that he used to be able to not talk to for months on end (back when they were just best friends) and when either eventually started a conversation with the other, it would've been like they never stopped talking at all. The girl that he'd watched matured from a braces-wearing and frizzy-haired to the beautiful young lady she was today. The girl that tripped over flat surfaces. The girl that put others before herself. The girl that would do anything she could to cheer her mates up. The girl that he was completely, irrevocably, and madly in love with – up to the extent that he saw no future if she left.

The girl that didn't deserve this. The girl that didn't deserve to die.

"Whaddya reckon we could do?" She chirped, snapping Alex out of his reverie.

Jay raised an eyebrow, sending him a mocking smile at how he'd spaced out while she changed. Alex pouted his bottom lip as he realised it, as well.

"Any chance you could, like, change again?" He batted his eyelids over at her, making her laugh and by default, instantly making him smile.

"Nice try, but no. Can we go somewhere?"

Alex got to his feet, reaching out to place a hand on either side of her waist as soon as he could reach her. He shrugged his shoulders, slipping his arms around her waist and then pulling her into a hug – nuzzling his nose into her neck. "I don't know. Are you even allowed to go do stuff?" He mumbled.

"Do you honestly think I give a shit if I'm allowed to or not?" She drawled out softly, making him laugh as she petted down his hair to the nape of his neck.

"True." He allowed, pulling away. "Shall we go on an adventure?"

"To where?"

Alex shrugged again. "It's an adventure. A completely unplanned adventure. We're already in L.A. Let's just drive and drive and drive and drive and drive and –" he took in a breath. "– drive and drive and –"

"I get it!" Jay exclaimed loudly, slapping a hand over his mouth, laughing.

Alex laughed against her palm, sticking his tongue out and slathering his saliva on her skin, earning no drastic reaction from the young woman before him apart from a little scrunch up of her nose. He grinned, pulling her hand away and then leaning down to quickly kiss her nose.

When reality hit him in the face, he felt like he'd been punched in the gut and his heart squeezed painfully in his chest. He felt like he was going to fall apart at any given moment. But he wouldn't, because he had to savour the last few days he had with her. One day, he wouldn't be able to kiss her anymore. He wouldn't be able to touch her. The only way he'd be able to look at her would be through photographs, and it hit him like a massive truck, right in the heart.

But with one glance towards the olive eyed beauty before him, he made a decision right there and then. He would do everything in his power to make this 'trip' that they were spontaneously taking the best one that she'd ever had. From where he stood with a few inches over her, he watched her. And she watched him.

It seemed as though they were both trying so hard to just take in each other's features, every little flaw and perfection.

Alex smiled down softly at her, earning a tiny lopsided smile back from her. He bent down, drawing her in closer and being careful to not hurt her fragile body, gently taking her bottom lip in between both of his. She smiled into the kiss, making him smile back.

So there they stood, in the middle of a hospital room, kissing each other slowly. Just a PG-rated kiss. Nothing more than that. And yet, both parties had never felt more content.

"So? An adventure?" He asked, his tone coloured with excitement after he pulled away, leaning his forehead against hers.

"Let's go on an adventure." Jay nodded, grinning. She pulled away from him to pick up the camouflage-printed Drop Dead jacket that she had lying idly on the foot of her bed, where she'd chucked it earlier, while Alex was spaced out.

"Hey," he called out, as she pulled on the jacket. Jay looked up, shooting him an questioning look. "I love you."

She smiled. "I love you more."

"I love you more than I'll ever be able to put into words."