Status: Completed.
Forever and More
Close The Distance
[003]
"I've never been to Vegas."
Alex frowned, glancing at her. "Really?"
Jay nodded, still peering out the window from the passenger seat. "Yeah, really."
"Huh." Alex frowned. "Could've sworn we brought you to Vegas before. What about that time – when we went for Jack's birthday?"
Jay raised a brow, shooting him a flat look. "I was probably a little preoccupied."
Alex, as soon as she realised what she meant, rolled his eyes, poking her in the stomach gently. He let out a laugh as she squirmed away from his touch. She'd always been ticklish, while Alex really wasn't – unless you ran your fingers lightly across the back of his neck. Every time he started tickle wars on her, she'd just be helplessly screaming and sort of laughing, trying to get him to stop. And Alex really liked to start tickle wars.
"It's been over a year..." He mumbled to himself, shaking his head.
"I know." Jay spoke quietly, their mood going solemn for the moment. Neither one of them ever spoke about Jay's cancer and how her days were numbered, like time was chasing her, but when they did – one of them always ended up in tears.
And surprisingly, it wasn't usually Jay.
The rest of the drive was silent, the only sounds throughout the car being a Go Radio CD playing. Their hands were entwined and resting on the centre console, but other than that, there was nothing. Alex drove while Jay looked out the window. Silence.
But, although there was silence, it comforted Alex, because he knew that she was right there next to him. And then he couldn't stop himself from wondering... How was he going to survive once she... Left?
-----
"You're insane."
"Come on!" Alex whined, placing his large hands on Jay's hipbones.
"No." She laughed, shaking her head.
"Why the fuck not?" He retorted.
"Because we're 25? Because we're in Vegas? Because you're a fucking rockstar? Because – I can come up with a dozen more reasons." She deadpanned.
"I don't care about your dozen reasons because I have a dozen more to why we should. I love you, Jay. I love you so fucking much and I will love you forever till the day I draw in my last breath. You've always been in my life and I could never imagine life without you but now that..." He trailed off, voice cracking. Alex cleared his throat. "Marry me. Please, for the love of all that is good, marry me. Be my wife."
"It's just a stupid piece of paper, 'Lex. We don't need to get married for other people to know that I'm ridiculously in love with you and that you're, hopefully, as in love with me as I am with you." She made a face, earning a laugh from the male.
Alex shook his head in amusement. "I love you more. And true, we don't need to get married, but I want to. We're in Vegas. We can literally just get married here, and right now. We don't need to plan shit."
"But we need rings. And we don't have rings." Jay pointed out with a rather smug grin set upon her pretty features.
He looked up, scanning his surroundings and then smirking smugly when he noticed a jewellery store that was still open – despite it being almost ten at night. "There." He nodded over in the store's direction.
Jay managed a small smile, but she bit her lip, looking over at him. "'Lex..." She trailed off. "I'm going to die. In less than a week. I'm so weak right now that I'm honestly not even sure how I'm standing. I'd be lucky if I even make it a week from now. I don't – I don't want to get married to you and then –"
"And then make me the happiest man alive." Alex cut her off smoothly, smiling sadly.
He'd never heard her say the physical words: that she would be dying. In fact, neither of them had ever said it. They though it, yeah, but they never said it aloud. And hearing her say it... It made him want to go on an angry rampage and kick and scream and just, ask the universe – why her?
"You'll be a widower at 25." She half-heartedly joked, making him frown though he tried so hard to mask it.
"Who gives a shit?" He grinned sadly. "So... Jordan Alexandria Ryerson, will you please, please, please marry me?"
Jay watched him for a moment before she smiled, letting out a small laugh. "Yeah. Yeah, I'll marry you."
-----
Alex and Jay were sat on a thin blanket that they'd picked up from a Walmart, watching the stars as they cuddled up to each other. The whole 'getting married' process actually took a shorter time than it was for them to get a set of wedding bands. Jay had insisted on getting cheap metal ones, but Alex was adamant on getting proper silver wedding bands. When she asked him why, he simply said that he never intended to take it off. The way he said the statement with such conviction and finality... It made Jay just nod and let Alex carry on searching for their 'perfect wedding bands.'
He ended up picking rather plain ones that had a strip of gold down the middle while the top and bottom layer bit were silver. They'd also managed to get each other's names engraved on the inside of the ring within thirty minutes, and Alex couldn't even hide his excitement.
Their wedding was short and the chapel was empty because, well, they were in Vegas.
They basically walked in, got married, and then walked out – as a newly married couple.
"'Lex?"
"Hmm?"
"Mind letting me go for a bit?"
Alex pouted, pulling her closer to him. "No."
Jay laughed. "I need call my mum."
Alex sighed dramatically, detangling their legs and then removing his arms from around her. She grinned, leaning down to gently and quickly peck his lips before she pulled away. He made a groan of disapproval, making grabby hands in her direction, pouting his lips in an over-exaggerated manner. Jay laughed but leaned down and kissed him again, this one longer and deeper, pulling away before they got too carried away and she forgot her intention of calling her mother.
"Be right back." She breathed against his lips, finally pulling away and then walking away so that she could have privacy.
Alex watched her from his horizontal position for a while before he sat up, also taking out his phone and immediately dialling his other best friend's number.
"Hello?"
"Hey Jack."
"Alex!" The other male exclaimed excitedly. "What's up, man?"
"Nothing much, really. Figured I'd call you so that you wouldn't miss me too much." He teased, laughing lightly.
Jack laughed, too. "Dude, why do you sound so English?"
"What do you mean?"
"Your accent's kinda back. You in England or something?"
"I'm in Vegas." Alex laughed. "I don't know – I guess being with Jay 24/7 makes my accent come back. Kinda."
The other male from the other end of the line gasped over dramatically. "You're in Vegas and you didn't invite me? Hurtful."
Alex chuckled, shaking his head in amusement. "We're on a little road trip to nowhere in particular. It was kinda spontaneous so sorry for forgetting to send you an invite." He teased. "I, uh, got married today."
Jack was silent then. "You're joking, right?"
"Nope." Alex laughed sheepishly. "Jay and I are now a married couple."
"And I didn't even get a fucking invite?!" Jack screeched, making Alex internally let out a sigh of relief. Though he honestly didn't care what other people thought about his rather rash decision to get married to the girl of his dreams and the love of his life, Jack's opinion would always matter.
"Sorry." Alex apologised, semi-genuinely.
Jack laughed. "S'alright. So... Marriage, huh?"
Alex made a small hum of agreement. "It's just – I," he sighed. "I love her, man. I love her so much and I don't know what I'll do when she – she –" He audibly gulped this time. "I'd rather be able to say that I was married to the most important person in my life than to live the rest of my life, wishing that I'd done what I did in Vegas, y'know?"
"I get it, 'Lex." He replied honestly. "I'm scared, too. I'm fucking terrified, actually. But she means more to you than she does to anyone else so... Yeah. I – I know I can't even being to comprehend what you must be feeling. But I also know that now that you're actually married to her, you're the happiest guy on Earth, and that makes me happy, too."
"Thanks, Jack-o." Alex spoke softly, smiling.
"I, uh, I have a favour to ask." Jack began hesitantly.
"Shoot."
"Can I – can I say –" He gulped before continuing. "G-g-goodbye?" He asked quietly, his voice cracking and stuttering then.
Alex swallowed, but he nodded before he realised that he was on the phone and that the lanky male wasn't sat next to him. "Y-y-yeah." He stuttered out, his voice shaky. "Of c-course. I'll, um, have her call you and the other guys t-tomorrow or s-something."
"Thank you." Jack replied quietly. He cleared his throat. "Now go and have fun with your wife. And congratulations on the marriage." Jack chirped, his voice overly cheerful, a clear sign that the moment he cut the call, he was either going to get drunk and then hook up with someone, or cry himself to sleep. It all depended on which mood he was in for.
Alex laughed, muttering a goodbye before he cut the call. Just as he did so, Jay came back into his line of view with tear-stained cheeks. Alex smiled sadly, not saying anything and merely opening his arms out for her to walk into. She crawled into his arms since he was still seated, and hugged him. He knew what their phone call had entailed. It didn't take a genius to figure out. That was probably the last phone call that Jay and Anne would share and the goodbye at the end of their call literally meant that: goodbye.
Alex let Jay sob quietly into his shirt, hushing her while running his hands through her hair. He knew better than to ask her to stop crying because she needed this. She needed a good cry.
"Everything's gonna be okay." He found himself mumbling, not even believing his own words.
Jay managed a small laugh. "But you said you wouldn't be okay."
Alex shrugged his shoulders lightly. "Sometimes you've gotta lie to yourself and force yourself to believe said lie."
"You'll be okay." She mumbled while sniffling into his neck, placing a soft kiss against his skin. "I love you, Gaskarth."
"I love you, too, Gaskarth."
"I've never been to Vegas."
Alex frowned, glancing at her. "Really?"
Jay nodded, still peering out the window from the passenger seat. "Yeah, really."
"Huh." Alex frowned. "Could've sworn we brought you to Vegas before. What about that time – when we went for Jack's birthday?"
Jay raised a brow, shooting him a flat look. "I was probably a little preoccupied."
Alex, as soon as she realised what she meant, rolled his eyes, poking her in the stomach gently. He let out a laugh as she squirmed away from his touch. She'd always been ticklish, while Alex really wasn't – unless you ran your fingers lightly across the back of his neck. Every time he started tickle wars on her, she'd just be helplessly screaming and sort of laughing, trying to get him to stop. And Alex really liked to start tickle wars.
"It's been over a year..." He mumbled to himself, shaking his head.
"I know." Jay spoke quietly, their mood going solemn for the moment. Neither one of them ever spoke about Jay's cancer and how her days were numbered, like time was chasing her, but when they did – one of them always ended up in tears.
And surprisingly, it wasn't usually Jay.
The rest of the drive was silent, the only sounds throughout the car being a Go Radio CD playing. Their hands were entwined and resting on the centre console, but other than that, there was nothing. Alex drove while Jay looked out the window. Silence.
But, although there was silence, it comforted Alex, because he knew that she was right there next to him. And then he couldn't stop himself from wondering... How was he going to survive once she... Left?
-----
"You're insane."
"Come on!" Alex whined, placing his large hands on Jay's hipbones.
"No." She laughed, shaking her head.
"Why the fuck not?" He retorted.
"Because we're 25? Because we're in Vegas? Because you're a fucking rockstar? Because – I can come up with a dozen more reasons." She deadpanned.
"I don't care about your dozen reasons because I have a dozen more to why we should. I love you, Jay. I love you so fucking much and I will love you forever till the day I draw in my last breath. You've always been in my life and I could never imagine life without you but now that..." He trailed off, voice cracking. Alex cleared his throat. "Marry me. Please, for the love of all that is good, marry me. Be my wife."
"It's just a stupid piece of paper, 'Lex. We don't need to get married for other people to know that I'm ridiculously in love with you and that you're, hopefully, as in love with me as I am with you." She made a face, earning a laugh from the male.
Alex shook his head in amusement. "I love you more. And true, we don't need to get married, but I want to. We're in Vegas. We can literally just get married here, and right now. We don't need to plan shit."
"But we need rings. And we don't have rings." Jay pointed out with a rather smug grin set upon her pretty features.
He looked up, scanning his surroundings and then smirking smugly when he noticed a jewellery store that was still open – despite it being almost ten at night. "There." He nodded over in the store's direction.
Jay managed a small smile, but she bit her lip, looking over at him. "'Lex..." She trailed off. "I'm going to die. In less than a week. I'm so weak right now that I'm honestly not even sure how I'm standing. I'd be lucky if I even make it a week from now. I don't – I don't want to get married to you and then –"
"And then make me the happiest man alive." Alex cut her off smoothly, smiling sadly.
He'd never heard her say the physical words: that she would be dying. In fact, neither of them had ever said it. They though it, yeah, but they never said it aloud. And hearing her say it... It made him want to go on an angry rampage and kick and scream and just, ask the universe – why her?
"You'll be a widower at 25." She half-heartedly joked, making him frown though he tried so hard to mask it.
"Who gives a shit?" He grinned sadly. "So... Jordan Alexandria Ryerson, will you please, please, please marry me?"
Jay watched him for a moment before she smiled, letting out a small laugh. "Yeah. Yeah, I'll marry you."
-----
Alex and Jay were sat on a thin blanket that they'd picked up from a Walmart, watching the stars as they cuddled up to each other. The whole 'getting married' process actually took a shorter time than it was for them to get a set of wedding bands. Jay had insisted on getting cheap metal ones, but Alex was adamant on getting proper silver wedding bands. When she asked him why, he simply said that he never intended to take it off. The way he said the statement with such conviction and finality... It made Jay just nod and let Alex carry on searching for their 'perfect wedding bands.'
He ended up picking rather plain ones that had a strip of gold down the middle while the top and bottom layer bit were silver. They'd also managed to get each other's names engraved on the inside of the ring within thirty minutes, and Alex couldn't even hide his excitement.
Their wedding was short and the chapel was empty because, well, they were in Vegas.
They basically walked in, got married, and then walked out – as a newly married couple.
"'Lex?"
"Hmm?"
"Mind letting me go for a bit?"
Alex pouted, pulling her closer to him. "No."
Jay laughed. "I need call my mum."
Alex sighed dramatically, detangling their legs and then removing his arms from around her. She grinned, leaning down to gently and quickly peck his lips before she pulled away. He made a groan of disapproval, making grabby hands in her direction, pouting his lips in an over-exaggerated manner. Jay laughed but leaned down and kissed him again, this one longer and deeper, pulling away before they got too carried away and she forgot her intention of calling her mother.
"Be right back." She breathed against his lips, finally pulling away and then walking away so that she could have privacy.
Alex watched her from his horizontal position for a while before he sat up, also taking out his phone and immediately dialling his other best friend's number.
"Hello?"
"Hey Jack."
"Alex!" The other male exclaimed excitedly. "What's up, man?"
"Nothing much, really. Figured I'd call you so that you wouldn't miss me too much." He teased, laughing lightly.
Jack laughed, too. "Dude, why do you sound so English?"
"What do you mean?"
"Your accent's kinda back. You in England or something?"
"I'm in Vegas." Alex laughed. "I don't know – I guess being with Jay 24/7 makes my accent come back. Kinda."
The other male from the other end of the line gasped over dramatically. "You're in Vegas and you didn't invite me? Hurtful."
Alex chuckled, shaking his head in amusement. "We're on a little road trip to nowhere in particular. It was kinda spontaneous so sorry for forgetting to send you an invite." He teased. "I, uh, got married today."
Jack was silent then. "You're joking, right?"
"Nope." Alex laughed sheepishly. "Jay and I are now a married couple."
"And I didn't even get a fucking invite?!" Jack screeched, making Alex internally let out a sigh of relief. Though he honestly didn't care what other people thought about his rather rash decision to get married to the girl of his dreams and the love of his life, Jack's opinion would always matter.
"Sorry." Alex apologised, semi-genuinely.
Jack laughed. "S'alright. So... Marriage, huh?"
Alex made a small hum of agreement. "It's just – I," he sighed. "I love her, man. I love her so much and I don't know what I'll do when she – she –" He audibly gulped this time. "I'd rather be able to say that I was married to the most important person in my life than to live the rest of my life, wishing that I'd done what I did in Vegas, y'know?"
"I get it, 'Lex." He replied honestly. "I'm scared, too. I'm fucking terrified, actually. But she means more to you than she does to anyone else so... Yeah. I – I know I can't even being to comprehend what you must be feeling. But I also know that now that you're actually married to her, you're the happiest guy on Earth, and that makes me happy, too."
"Thanks, Jack-o." Alex spoke softly, smiling.
"I, uh, I have a favour to ask." Jack began hesitantly.
"Shoot."
"Can I – can I say –" He gulped before continuing. "G-g-goodbye?" He asked quietly, his voice cracking and stuttering then.
Alex swallowed, but he nodded before he realised that he was on the phone and that the lanky male wasn't sat next to him. "Y-y-yeah." He stuttered out, his voice shaky. "Of c-course. I'll, um, have her call you and the other guys t-tomorrow or s-something."
"Thank you." Jack replied quietly. He cleared his throat. "Now go and have fun with your wife. And congratulations on the marriage." Jack chirped, his voice overly cheerful, a clear sign that the moment he cut the call, he was either going to get drunk and then hook up with someone, or cry himself to sleep. It all depended on which mood he was in for.
Alex laughed, muttering a goodbye before he cut the call. Just as he did so, Jay came back into his line of view with tear-stained cheeks. Alex smiled sadly, not saying anything and merely opening his arms out for her to walk into. She crawled into his arms since he was still seated, and hugged him. He knew what their phone call had entailed. It didn't take a genius to figure out. That was probably the last phone call that Jay and Anne would share and the goodbye at the end of their call literally meant that: goodbye.
Alex let Jay sob quietly into his shirt, hushing her while running his hands through her hair. He knew better than to ask her to stop crying because she needed this. She needed a good cry.
"Everything's gonna be okay." He found himself mumbling, not even believing his own words.
Jay managed a small laugh. "But you said you wouldn't be okay."
Alex shrugged his shoulders lightly. "Sometimes you've gotta lie to yourself and force yourself to believe said lie."
"You'll be okay." She mumbled while sniffling into his neck, placing a soft kiss against his skin. "I love you, Gaskarth."
"I love you, too, Gaskarth."