Never Let Go

“Gerard, can I see you in my office?”

The boss, otherwise known as Mr Anderson, was at Gerard’s cubicle, a grim look on his face. The office was silent, everyone petrified of what was about to happen. Owen had been called in half an hour previously, and hadn’t been seen since. Gerard had been nervously waiting for Owen to march back into the office, gloating how he had gotten off with a slap on the wrist. Gerard anticipated his work life was about to get more difficult, and had begrudgingly looked up other jobs in case nothing good came out of this. He questioned whether it was smart to bring Owen’s behaviour to the attention of the boss, if the possible negative consequences were worth the probable hassle he would receive from Owen. He had low expectations that the situation with Owen would be resolved successfully. Owen was close to the boss, and he was also a smarmy, slimy git when he needed to be. Gerard realised that it was a big possibility that his days at Dark Horse would be numbered. It pained him to think that way. When Owen was taken out of the equation, working with the company was really his dream job. He enjoyed what he did, and the fact that he was able to do what he loved the most. The thought of that being in jeopardy was panic inducing at best. He hid it from his colleagues as he stood up, throwing on his game face and deciding he would meet whatever was coming.

He shut the door of the office behind him, strolling over to the chair with deceptive ease he didn’t feel.

“So, Gerard, I assume you know why you’re here?”

Gerard cleared his throat, getting rid of some non-existent phlegm.

“I think so.”

“Well, I thought I’d call you in to let you know Owen has been dismissed.”

Gerard hadn’t been expecting that outcome, and his face betrayed his shock.

“There were other…allegations made toward Owen of a rather more serious nature by one of the girls in the finance department. I’m sure you understand that this is confidential as it’s an ongoing matter, so you’re discretion is of upmost importance.”

“I understand.”

“Good. I want to thank you for speaking up, if it wasn’t for your formal complaint, the other employee wouldn’t have come forward. I aim to operate an environment where people like coming in every day, not fearing walking through the doors.”

Gerard nodded, wondering what direction the conversation was heading in.

“You showed courage and backbone, qualities needed in our team. You get on well with everybody, and I can see you’ve got the leadership skills needed to run a team. You’ve been here for a few years at this stage, and I feel it’s only appropriate that the job goes to you. It’s a big responsibility, and unfortunately Owen has left the illustration department in a less than desirable state, but I believe you’re up to the task. You’ll be running the illustration department, not just coordinating your team, but overlooking all the other projects that we’re working on. It’ll require more hours, there will be regular interdepartmental meetings with the financial and publishing department, as well as myself, but the raise should more than make up for it. This is a big opportunity, Gerard, and not one someone of your age is normally handed, but I feel you’re more than capable of taking on the job. Are you up to it?”

Gerard was speechless, something that never happened to him. This was a big opportunity- he would be running the entire illustration department, and the job would be no easy task. The money wasn’t a factor in Gerard’s decision-he earned enough as he did already, enough to keep him more than happy. He knew that he was capable enough to do the job, but did he want the pressure, responsibility and dedication that would go hand and hand with it? He would be giving up his primary love-drawing. He would be administrating and project managing, not creating. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he knew this could lead down to a far different path, away from mindless illustration. He could get into the publishing side of things eventually, perhaps even commission new comics…was that what he wanted?

“I think I am.”

“Great!” Anderson clapped his hands together.

“Thank you, sir,” Gerard held his hand out for the older man to shake.

“You’ve got a lot of potential, Way. I’m merely giving you the opportunity to use it.”

Back at his desk, Gerard’s head was swimming. As of Monday, he would be officially running the department. His colleagues would no longer be his equals- he would be in charge, a thought that filled him with a little trepidation. He had no idea how they would take it, as it could easily go one of two ways. He hoped they would be happy to see Gerard moving up, or at least a little pleased that they would no longer have Owen over them. There was the other possibility that they wouldn’t take Gerard’s newfound authority with good grace, or that they wouldn’t take his position seriously, and as such, give him a hard time whenever things needed to get down. He was determined to do a better job than Owen, but he wouldn’t let anyone walk over him either. He was going to tell everybody in the office the news later, but for the time being he wanted to keep it to himself. He picked up his phone, automatically finding Frank’s name in his messages and typing out the good news. It wasn’t until the text had been sent, that he felt an uncomfortable realisation dawn on him.

His first instinct was to text Frank, not Lindsey. Lindsey was the woman he loved, the person that was the most important part of his life, and yet somehow, Frank was the first person he thought of when something good came his way. There was an unpleasant weight settling in his stomach, something that felt all too close to guilt. He didn’t understand why he felt guilty. Was it that he had forgotten about Lindsey for a few seconds and let her fall down his priority list? It didn’t seem like the right explanation. There was a deeper issue at hand. Something that lingered in the back of his mind, that he wasn’t allowing himself to see. Something that told him the feeling was more to do with thinking about Frank, than forgetting about Lindsey.