Pictures on Silence

Packing, especially last minute, is a royal pain in the behind. This time, however, I made sure that I forgot absolutely nothing; probably because I was bringing absolutely everything.
In the living room, I hugged my stepmother, then both my brothers, then my half-sister, then my dad. "Have fun," Dad said. "Don't forget to call and check up."

"I won't," I promised.

"And if you have get homesick, don't hesitate to come home," Mackenzie advised.

Like that's going to happen, I thought. "I won't," I said again.

"And if any of those guys make a move on you, we're going to track them down and beat them senseless," Aibhlin said seriously. He grinned, and I laughed, nodding. I didn't doubt he and Tyrnan would do it, either.

So after the line of hugs and promises, I dragged all my equipment, entertainment, and clothes-- of which there were only two pieces of baggage and a garment bag, which was pretty good for two weeks of shows-- down to the car, where Mackenzie drove me down to my mom's house... and I loaded all my stuff into her car.

Mom teared up the minute I opened the door. "You're all grown up," she whimpered into my shoulder. I patted her back and looked up at the ceiling. "Off to make your dream happen." She pulled away and gave me a watery smile.

"It's only for two weeks, Mom," I assured her. "I'll be back before you know it."

She sniffled and nodded, getting her purse and opening the front door. "I know, but I wanted to get it all out so I wouldn't embarrassed you in front of your band." I laughed and gave her another hug. "Well, we don't want you to be late. You're going up to Jesse's house, yes?"

I stared out the window distantly as we drove past house upon house. Green Day blasted out of the speakers; Mom loves Green Day, and everyone but me seems to find that strange. But I didn't think much on the drive, and before I realised it, Mom pulled up behind Jesse's van, where he, Matt, and Sean were loading Matt's drum set into the back.

I climbed out and was spun around by Jesse. "We're going on tour!" he sang as we danced in circles. I just laughed and danced around with him.

"Hey! You guys going to prance around all day or are we gonna get this show on the road?" Matt called, shoving my amp in with all our other equipment.

I grinned at him. "Anxious for all the desperate, swooning girls, Sundance?" I asked teasingly. He nodded vehemently, making me roll my eyes. I gave Mom one last hug and carefully put my bass, acoustic, and electric in the back.

As we pulled away from Jesse's house, Matt shouted out the window, "Goodbye, boredom!"

"So long, normalcy," Sean continued reverently.

"Hello, repute," Jesse said with a grin.

The guys were practically bouncing by the time we reached our destination up in Sacramento. We pulled into the big parking lot behind the venue. Matt jumped out and ran off somewhere to find a bathroom. After putting on my sunglasses, I followed Sean out of the back onto the asphalt and froze.

There were two huge tour buses-- one, I assumed, for crew, and the other for the band-- parked innocently in the parking lot. People milled about purposefully, doing their job, filling the world with music...

This was what I was here for. This was what I was meant to do. I stared, biting my lip.
Sean put a hand on my shoulder. "Are you okay, Angie?" he asked worriedly.

I felt myself grinning. "I just realised..." I turned to him. "We're really doing this." I shook him. "We're touring with Panic! At the fucking Disco!" I threw my arms around him and turned him in circles. "We're going on tour!" I yelled.

"Yes, you are," a voice behind us said. I stopped and turned.

Spencer and Ryan grinned at us. "Kind of a late reaction, don't you think?" Spencer asked. I smiled cheesily.

"Come on," Ryan said, nodding his head towards one of the buses. "Bren and Jon have probably already found Jesse and Matt."

I looked back at the van, where people were taking things out of the trunk, and started towards them, but Spencer stopped me. "Don't worry about it," he assured me. "They're roadies, just doing their jobs." He grinned. "Awesome, huh?"

"Angie!" I stumbled backwards a few steps when someone flew at me. The guys were laughing, and counting faces, I calculated who was currently giving me a death-grip hug.

"Hi, Brendon," I laughed, freeing my arm to hug him back. He bounced in front of me with a wide grin on his face. "Well, aren't you the little spazmonkey?"

"You have to see where we live!" Brendon exclaimed, dragging me towards the bus. Laughing, I jogged after him and let Brendon freakin' Urie lead me around Panic! At the Disco's tour bus. This shit was unbelievable.

"So now that you're thoroughly exhausted," Jon began when I was finally released. I smiled and sat down on the floor between the two couches against each wall. Jesse tripped over my legs to get to a seat; he glared and I gave him an innocent smile.

"What, are we having circle time?" Ryan asked, coming in from the bunkroom.

"Apparently," Brendon answered, much more calm than before. "Come join our circle of magical rockingness." I laughed as Ryan sat on the floor on the other side of the aisle.

No one said anything for a moment; you know, that awkward silence at a party where no one wants to begin conversation because they only know their group of friends.

"Balls," Matt stated. Everyone looked at him and cracked up.

"So now that's over with, to business," Spencer said. "We have an extra bunk onboard and wanted to offer it to someone."

"Angie," Sean, Jesse, and Matt voted simultaneously after a beat. I looked around, confused, at all of them and shook my head. "If any of us is staying on the bus, it's you, Pen."

"But that's sexist!" I exclaimed indignantly. "Just because I'm a girl doesn't mean I can't stand living in a van for two weeks. I am a perfectly capable human being, female or not."

"True as that is," Sean argued calmly from behind me, "Y'r dad would probably kill us if 'e knew you could stay somewhere less primitive than Jesse's van."

"He doesn't have to know," I grumbled. "Plus I like Jesse's van." A thought stuck me and I straightened up. "And what do you think Daddy Dearest would like less: me staying in the van with people he knows, or me staying on a tour bus with four incredibly famous guys whom he has met once?"

"He seemed to like us," Jon put in.

"And consider who's in the van," Jesse added.

I glared directly at Matt. "What?" he asked. "What've I done?"

"Made it impossible for me to have the true new-band experience," I answered, crossing my arms and frowned at my feet.

Panic! seemed slightly put off that I was upset. Ahem, seemed upset. "If it really means that much to you," Brendon started.

But I cut him off with a grin. "Nope, I'm cool. I've slept in the van before; 'twas hell on my back." They all looked at each other, confused by my abrupt change of behavior. "I'm an actress," I explained. "Overdramatics are my specialty."

"Makes for a better show," Sean said with a shrug.

For the next two hours, we two bands hung out and drank Capri Sun-- of which there was a surprisingly large supply. Jon tried to take my picture, but I hid behind my hair and told him I wouldn't want to break such a high-quality camera.

"What are you talking about?" Jesse scoffed.

"There is no way that you could look bad in a picture," Brendon added.

I scrunched my face up at him from behind my hand. "Again, you're adorable but a terrible liar." A light flashed. "Damn it! Delete that now!"

"No," Jon declared, looking at the picture. "See? Look how cute you are."

I covered my eyes. "I am not cute. I am the antithesis of cute. Throw that away."

Spencer laughed. "I like it."

"Me too," Ryan agreed. "Why don't you like pictures of you?"

"Pen's always the person behind the lens, is why," Jesse said. "It's a well-known fact that photographers hate having their picture taken."

"But just look at her!" Jon exclaimed, gesturing to me. I covered my face with both hands. Don't look at me. "She could be a model."

"Lies!" I declared, throwing my hands up. "Can we please talk about something else?"

"Fine, fine," Spencer sighed. "What's up with all the nicknames? I still haven't figured it out."
"Matt being bored, mostly," I answered. Everyone laughed.

Matt pushed my shoulder. "You were responsible for mine, Penelope. You got all excited and ditsy when I called Sean Butch Cassidy. You were all, 'Oh my god! You guys are, like, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid!'"

"I was not, you fucking liar," I argued. "I said the name fit you because you're Sean's sidekick."

"Leave me out o' this."

"But anyway," Jesse said loudly, glaring at me and Matt, "Sean's Butch Cassidy because Cassidy is his middle name and Matt was obsessed with that movie when Sean moved here."

"We call Jesse Trill because all his names are first names," Sean explained. "And Matt thought Angie's name was Penelope when I first introduced them."

"And somehow continued to call me that for about two months before discovering my actual name," I finished with a grin. He stuck his tongue out at me.

Jon laughed and began a new topic of conversation. "Anything weird about you we should know before you stay in the same room as us?"

I fiddled with my hair in thought. "Um... I'm claustrophobic... and I talk in my sleep..." I bit my lip and eyed the ceiling. "And I think that's it."

"Coherently?" Ryan asked.

"Oh yeah," Sean laughed, "She's 'ad entire conversations with people."

"Awesome!" Brendon said. "We can ask you questions and get you to say random things."

"Remind me to stay awake later than you," I requested flatly as the door of the bus opened.

A man poked his head in. "Hey guys... and girl." He jerked his thumb out the door. "Sound check's in ten."

Brendon grinned. "You guys ready?"

"Hell yes!" Matt exclaimed, jumping to his feet.

I followed everyone out and meandered after them. "Que es problemo, chica?" Jon asked, falling in beside me.

"Nothing," I answered, smiling softly. "It just occurred to me that I've never done any of this professionally before. We're going to sound like shit compared to you guys."

"Don't sweat it. We've been doing this longer, so it's okay. You guys'll look and sound fantastic." He laughed. "And if you ask nicely, Brendon will warm up with you."

"What's funny about that?" I asked curiously.

Jon grinned. "Brendon doesn't so much sing scales as shriek them." I laughed at the image. "And he listens to his iPod so all we hear is him. Between him and the crowds, I'm surprised we're not all deaf."