Pas Mal

Josh

"So Sean called me and he's organizing this beach party," Mallory mumbled, tearing a piece of toast apart.

She had taken to talking very quickly and quietly in a hope that would pass as acceptable social interaction. It didn't bother me in the slightest, I was just very grateful that she had the courage to speak. I would appreciate it if she slowed down sometimes.

It was nice to have her voice above all the shouting and unrest in the house. I wasn't sure if she'd cope with the yelling at first, but she's getting on better than I do. She understands I find it distressing and unnerving. Her voice was so soothing and gentle above the anger. She was exactly what I needed to keep me from going insane.

She was sat on the couch in a pair of boxers and a baggy t-shirt. It was early afternoon, and neither of us had been awake for very long. We spent our nights talking and watching movies. We had so much to share. She'd tell me about all the embarrassing British TV shows, and in return I'd teach her French
phrases.

She pushed her glasses up her nose. "So are we going?" She asked.

"If you want. I imagine he's planning on getting everyone together. Who's he with?" I asked in return.

"Christian. He's doted with him, bless." She replied. She moved her legs for me to sit down next to her, placing them across my lap.

"Do you want to go? No one's going to force you." Big social groups weren't her forte.

She shrugged. "I bet you want to go." Her face was almost blank, but I could see the hint of a smirk on her lips.

"I'd rather stay in with you if that's what you want. I don't mind though." I didn't want her to base her choice around me. As shy as she was, she had the confidence to make choices herself without too much influence from others.

She checked her phone again. "Sean's asking if we know of any means to get hold of alcohol." She read out.

I shrugged. "I can convince my mum to buy me some easily enough." I replied.

She texted back quickly. "I told him to get hold of Dan - Dan always passes as old enough."

I stretched in my seat. I just wanted to go back to bed, lie with her for the rest of the day, just talking quietly. I wanted to watch her sleep in my arms, her hands squeezing my shirt as she dreamed, her legs kicking the bed sheets around. I wanted to help her through the nightmares that plagued her every night.

"Do you wanna go get something to eat?" I asked. I wasn't particularly hungry, I just needed out of the house before I became too tired again. She shrugged.

"Sure, let me go get dressed." She stood up and left the room. I stood too and went to the airing cupboard, finding a fresh pair of black jeans and a clean band shirt. I tried to sort my hair out in the bathroom mirror, but only succeeded in making it worse. Leather jacket, black converse, and I was good to go.

Mallory smiled when she came back. She'd brushed her hair over one shoulder, allowing it to cascade over her breast. She wore tight grey jeans and a long sleeved t-shirt. She slipped beat up Vans onto her feet. They seemed to accentuate how small she was. Looking at them, I noticed they had little Storm Troopers on them. She pulled a sweater on over her head and grinned.

"I have another pair with the front cover of Episode Four on the flat bit at the front." She remarked, noticing my interest in the Star Wars Vans.

I laughed. "They're pretty awesome."

"Well, thank you." She replied a little awkwardly, a big smile on her face. She led me to the door.

The cafe I'd planned to take her was away from the maddening crowd. It was down a little side street, and therefore usually quiet. It did have quite a large group of loyal customers, most of those were elderly, and they came for the peace. I liked it, because it was a little different. It was like they'd accidentally become an American Diner. A replica Hard Rock Cafe. The walls were decorated with music and movie memorabilia. It served classic American food. The furniture was all old school, dating back to about the sixties, like most of the workers. Yet it wasn't supposed to be like this. It was originally just a charming little French cafe, and somehow it had merged with American culture. There was some sort of charm about the place though, and I had formed many happy memories.

Mallory grinned as she pushed the door open. "Looks like it's straight from the set of Grease." She chuckled. Then her eyes caught the massive vintage maps of France, hand labelled in French. The photographs of the Eiffel Tower and Champs Elysees. The floor was wooden, a sandy colour. It smelt musky inside, like an Antiques shop. It was a strange combination. She laughed as she looked around, a huge smile forming on her face.

"Cute, isn't it?" I chuckled, leading her towards my usual seat. I usually came here with friends, usually Kier and Gerard and Debbie. It was a pleasant routine. We'd meet up, we'd talk about everything and anything under the sun whilst pigging out on oversized portions of chips.

Mallory sat down opposite me, her back pressed against the window, her feet up on the chair next to her. She pulled her sweater off and placed it on the windowsill. I could see that she was still in awe of her surroundings.

I left her at the table to order my usual, when I noticed the door swing open from the corner of my eye. Frank and Gerard were in deep conversation as they walked into the room. I grinned at the two of them and nodded towards were Mallory was sat, gazing out the window. Frank sat down next to her, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder in a failed effort not to scare her. Gerard came and stood next to me, grinning.

"Ça va, mon ami?" He chuckled, slapping me on the back. He was in a good mood.

"Pas mal. Et toi?" I asked in reply. He simply grinned, and turned to the waitress to add his usual to the bill. "Tu payeras!"

We walked back to the table. Gerard still had that goofy grin on his face. It seemed to be directed at Frank. It was pretty sweet.

"You heard about what happened between Ben and Gus, right?" Gerard asked, a little glint in his eye.

"Something's always happening between Ben and Gus. Who'd did which one sleep with this time?" I asked in return. It wasn't a surprise to me that they were arguing, and I didn't really care much.

Gerard smirked. "That's where this time gets interesting. Ben slept with Shay, his partner who is supposed to be dating Aled, Gus' partner and rumour has it Gus really likes this Aled guy." He raised an eyebrow and sat back in his chair, looking quite proud of himself.

Mallory rolled her eyes. "Aled and Shay rarely talk. I doubt either of them care very much." She remarked. That was the most confidence she'd ever spoken with. She stood up and stretched, brushing her hair from her eyes. "I'm going to the bathroom." She announced, stepping away from the seats and walking silently across the floor. My eyes followed her.

"Dude, you're staring at her." Gerard pointed out, nudging me with his foot. "You like her?" He asked.

"What? No!" I denied.

"She's completely asexual anyway, or gay. We haven't quite figured it out yet." Frank added. It seemed he was trying to make light of it all. Like he was trying to erase her identity, and plaster his perception all over her.

I didn't want Mallory's body. I only wanted her time and the chance to prove myself to her. Asexuals aren't afraid of relationships, Hell they aren't afraid of anything! Maybe something good could work between Mallory and I.

She came back and slipped into her seat. "Done anything yet, Frank?" She asked. I noticed Gerard's eyes widen in panic, threatening Frank.

"Uh, not really. We've been watching movies and we went to Phoenix Park but other than that we've done nothing." The look in his eyes gave away the obvious half truth. Mallory didn't look too convinced either.

Our food arrived and the conversation turned back to Ben and Gus. They were tiring me out. I was sick of their shit, and I'm sure everyone else was too. They should either break up and never see each other again or break up and have lots of angry sex. But whatever they do, we shouldn't have to deal with it.

We stayed until closing hours, the space in between darkness and light. I never felt particularly safe, no matter what time of day it was. I had Mallory to worry about now, anyway. She seemed high, like she couldn't care less about anything.

"What's Phoenix Park?" She asked, recalling Frank's half truth from earlier.

I grinned. "It's this... Park, basically. It's really cool though, there's a museum of Asian art there. There's a playground which is kinda fun." I explained. I liked Phoenix. It was just somewhere far out, relaxing. "Actually, you can see it from the airport." I mentioned.

"Oh yeah, with the big glass dome sort of building. That's pretty cool. Can we go sometime?" She asked, her childish grin widening.

I shrugged. "Depends on whether you like Asian art or not."

She rolled her eyes at me and shoved my shoulder. Without pressing the discussion further, she took my hand and dragged me down the street. Maybe she just wanted to do something. Maybe she felt safer when there were others around? Oh God, do I threaten her? I guess I came on a little strange with her, I've probably freaked her out.

When she turned and smiled, I wasn't so sure. She looked so genuinely happy and laid back. She squeezed my hand and pulled me closer towards her. Had I not known better, I'd assume she was drunk.

"Our French teacher makes us listen to some of your crappy music as like listening practice." She chuckled.

I smiled down at her. "So you've come across Melissa?" I guessed. She frowned. "Elle est mon âme, elle est mon cœur." I sung loudly, out of tune. She laughed, shoving me again.

"Shut up, dipshit! You look like an idiot. I think we're choosing the music this weekend then." She teased, walking away again.

I caught up with her and slipped my hand in hers. "You're here to learn about our culture, not the other way around!"

She simply shrugged. "Have you ever heard of Blur? Kasabian? Oasis? The Vaccines?" She laughed when I shook my head. "Fine, give me Christian's number and we'll sort out a playlist together."

She let go of my hand and took a few quick steps ahead. "It's getting cold, we should hurry up." She said flatly. Her smile had faded. Had I got too close then?