Awkward

The rain is falling hard but I stay on your doorsteps. I can tell you are home. A small window on the left glows yellow. I knock, once, twice just to be sure. I hear your heavy footsteps as you clomp down your steps. The wind whistles, the trees shake and the wind continues to fall. I am soaked. I should have brought an umbrella. I patiently wait. Every step you take, makes my heart beat faster. I am nervous. What if you don’t accept this? Do you still care? My thoughts seem louder than the rain falling. They prance around me pixie like but they are practically elephants. Hurry up. Your footsteps are getting closer. I want to run but it’s too late. Your hand is on the doorknob. I take a deep breath or at least I try. The door opens slightly. The rain drums on the ground. Thunder roars but my ears don’t hear a thing. Don’t do this to me now, I tell myself as the door is flung open. You don’t seemed surprise to see me. I wonder what you are thinking.

“Uh…Hello?” I can practically hear the shakiness in my voice. My throat is dry and my eyes are wet. And it is not just because of the rain.

You haven’t changed a lot since the last time, except for your unclean face and the dark circles under your eyes. I can’t seem to talk. I have so much to say but nothing to say. That was always me. You were the one who was always in charge. I was the silent one who always sat in the back row during class. I always tried to stay unnoticed by everyone. We were polar opposites. You were the loud, obnoxious one with the friends who loved to party. Everyone loved you. Everyone noticed you.

“You’ve been standing there for a while, why don’t you come in,” you say as you clear your throat. I nod, saying nothing. Awkward was the word to describe this. This was where we had ended up, awkward. We are just strangers with a past together.