The Real Housewives of Ink

Vanessa walked in the resturant just as the waiter put down a margarita in from of Lydia.

"Sister," she called out, "You're just in time for our pity party!"

"I know what *I'm* celebrating, but what about you?" Vanessa asked, sitting down and draping her purse over the chair. The waiter took her drink order.

She told her sister what happened with Kyle.

"I hope you burned that chair," Vanessa quipped.

"I haven't been there since it happened," Lydia explained. "I went home, packed some clothes and stayed overnight at a friend's house. I came back to find his stuff missing and the clothes I *didn't* take thrown into the bathtub and covered in bleach."

"Candi didn't take your jewlery, did she?" Vanessa asked. Lydia liked her bling. She wasn't into shiny, gaudy things like Vanessa was, just simple, classic pieces, mostly silver, that had a lot of meaning and were carefully picked out over time.

Lydia shook her head. "Luckily, Kyle had warned me ahead of time about what Candi is capable of. Anything I wanted to see again I packed. My necklaces and jewlery aren't her style, but I figured she might swipe them out of spite. The clothes I left behind were stuff I was going planning on throwing out anyway. I can replace the couches she shredded and the tv she smashed." She shrugged. "Let her think she won."

"You seem unphased by this," Vanessa commented.

"Remember the advice Grandma Fanny gave me when my high school boyfriend dumped me for the school skank?"

"'The best revenge you can give for the woman who stole your man is to let her have him'?" Vanessa asked.

"Besides, isn't it better that I found out now than later?" Lydia asked rhetorically.

"So perhaps Kyle dithering on the wedding planning had a silver lining after all!"

By this point, the waiter had deposited her drink next to her. She raised her glass.

"To asshole exes!" they said at the same time, clinking their glasses together.