The Real Housewives of Ink

"Aw, come on, just one date! Please?" James Danger begged. "I'm a good guy, just one date!"

Lydia rolled her eyes. She just had politely rejected James' offer of a date and the taller, mohawked man hadn't taken it well. In the course of three sentences, he had given her three different reasons to stand firm on her decision not to date him: begging like a child, not taking no for an answer, and the "I'm a good guy" argument, which Lydia had learned from prior dating experience was Douche Code for "As long as I'm not a serial killer, there's no excuse for you *not* to date me".

Vanessa-God bless her-had gotten her a job at Wooster Street Tattoo after moving to NYC for a new start. Needing one as well, Lydia had decided to join her sister. Meghan Massacre had, upon meeting the blue-haired woman, decided to take her under her tiny wing and show her around the city. This turned out to be a good thing, as Lydia hadn't lived in a new city in a long, long time. She liked familliarity and routine, where could she go for a cup of coffee (that *wasn't* a Starbucks) or some neat trinket that she *must* have (that *wasn't* a mall). Where could she go for those things? Meg and her boyfriend Joey were more that happy to show her around.

"At least give me a handjob," he pleaded, grabbing her close, pressing his hard on into her belly.

Lydia gasped at the audacity of this man and instincively kneed him in the crotch.

Clutching his man-parts, he stumbled out, cursing her.

"I was gonna intervene, but I see you've got it covered," joked a voice behind her.

"Joey! What are you doing in New York City?" Lydia exclaimed.

Joey shrugged. "No reason. Day off. And to ask you if you are available for lunch."

"Wait just a minute," Lydia turned to Tommy who was busy tattooing someone. "Hey, Tommy," she called out, "I'm going out for lunch, can you...?"

"Nah, I'm good. Use protection!" Tommy called back.

Lydia flipped him the bird and walked out to the chortling of the crowd.