Fall of Rome

After taking off our gear in the changing room, we walked back up to our room at the end of the hall, and even with all the time that we’d been inside I didn’t feel any warmer.

Dylan started a fire first thing when we walked in and made me stand as close to him as I could so he could rub his hands over my fingers. Several minutes of him blowing on my fingers finally made it so I could feel them.

There was a closet by the doorway where Dylan found a spare blanket, which he sat on the floor in front of the fireplace.

“Have a sit,” he said, sitting down himself before patting the spot beside him. I sat down cross legged next to him, with my back leaning against the sofa behind me. All of my muscles were sore, and I couldn’t imagine how Dylan must have been feeling considering he was the one doing most of the work.

“You did a great job,” Dylan said, smiling as he looked at me. I looked back at him, raising my eyebrow in disbelief. He chuckled, “I mean for your first time.”

“It was your first time too.”

“I sort of cheated,” Dylan confessed as he leaned back against the sofa. “I watched lots of YouTube videos before we came.”

“You bastard,” I joked, smiling as I brought my fingers to my mouth to blow on them.

“Still cold?” he asked as he noticed the red tips of my fingers. “Let me see.”
He moved a bit closer to me, so our thighs were touching, and reached for my hands. He wrapped them between his fingers and brought them to his lips, kissing the tips of my fingers.

My heart was pounding in my chest, and I was certain that he could feel it through my hands. His lips felt so perfect and there was something in his eyes that I just wanted to sink myself into. I wanted to get lost in Dylan again.

One of his hands dropped from mine, moving to my cheek to push a stray strand of hair out of my face. His skin brushed against mine and I felt a jolt inside my body.

His eyes never moved away from mine and I could see his lips beginning to tremble. “Eleanor, I –”

I didn’t have a clue what he was going to say. I didn’t know if he was going to apologize for the millionth time since we had left or tell me that there were aliens standing on the balcony, but I didn’t care because all I could see was his perfect lips, and I missed them so much.

Dylan’s finger was still on my cheek when I began leaning forward, and I could see the look of shock in his eyes, like he knew exactly what I was doing but almost couldn’t believe it himself.

When our lips touched, my entire body sank into his chest and his arms wrapped around me to hold me up. I could feel his fingertips against my back as they moved up to my hair before tangling themselves in it. His lips were brushing against mine in a way I’d never felt before. It was like he was nervous or scared that he was going to do something wrong, but his hands were holding onto me so tightly that I knew he didn’t want to pull away.

His kiss had taken over my body for several moments before my ears popped and a single thought of Dylan kissing someone else ran through my head. I pulled away in an instant, and the look of shock on Dylan’s face was even more evident than when I had first kissed him.

I was standing up before he had a chance to move, but I hadn’t made it but a few steps before he was calling after me.

“El, please, wait!”

I could hardly hear him over the pounding in my chest, and all I knew was that I needed to get the hell out of there. I all but ran over to the balcony and slid the door open, not even caring that it was below freezing outside. The cold somehow exhilarated me, and I gripped my hands onto the rail as I looked down over the edge of the balcony.

Wind was blowing over my body and my legs were shaking, but I didn’t care. My heart ached for me to feel anything else, and before I knew what was happening, tears took over me until I was nothing but a shaking mess.

I didn’t even know that Dylan was standing behind me until I heard his voice.

“Please, come back inside, El,” Dylan pleaded, as he reached his hand out to me. “It’s freezing out here”

The second his hand hit my shoulder, I spun around, my face a hot, red mess as tears streamed down my face. I could feel myself breaking and it was as if every bit of self-control I had was completely gone.

“How could you do this, Dylan? How could you do this to us?”

“El, I was stupid. So, so stupid. I –”

“Wasn’t I good enough for you?” I choked out, my tears falling ever more quickly than they were before. “Why couldn’t I be good enough?”

“You were, El. You still are. You’re better than good enough, El. You’re perfect. Now please, go back and inside and we can talk. You’re gonna catch your death out here.”

“We were so stupid, Dylan,” I blurted out, ignoring everything he said. “I don’t know why we ever thought that someone like you could be with someone like me.”

“What are you talking about? Eleanor, you’re perfect. I couldn’t ask for anything better.”

“You’re famous, Dylan, and I’m just a nobody. You could have anyone that you wanted.” I took a deep breath, pursing my lips as I looked at him. “And you did. You had her.”

“God, El, no, it wasn’t like that.”

“Then what was it? What about her made you so ready to throw away everything we had?”

“El, stop,” Dylan said, reaching out to try to take my hands in his. My whole body was shaking and my toes were so frozen that they had lost feeling, but I couldn’t feel much besides anger anyway. “Do you think I would have brought you here if I wanted to throw everything away? Do you think I would have been trying so hard to make you happy if I wanted to lose you? Do you really think that, El? I love you, Eleanor. More than I’ve ever loved anyone. I hurt you and I know that, but I promise you it wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t anything you did. You’re the most amazing girl I’ve ever met, and I never, ever want to lose you, El. You have to know that.”

“Stop it, Dylan,” I shouted, shoving my fists against his chest as I tried to push him as far away as I could. “Just stop.”

“It’s true, El,” Dylan said, as he wrapped his hands around my fists and held them against his chest. “I love you so much. I’m never going to stop loving you, Eleanor, and I’m not going to leave until you love me again.”

I tried to push him away, but he wouldn’t move anymore, and I eventually collapsed against his chest, sobs wracking my body so forcefully that I couldn’t keep myself up anymore. One of Dylan’s arm wrapped around my waist while the other tucked under my knees, and he lifted me into the air. Before I knew what was happening, he was walking back inside as I pressed my face into his chest, staining his shirt with my tears.

With me in his arms, he walked over to the sofa and sat on it, keeping my head pressed against his chest. His hand moved to my hair as he ran his fingers through it, letting me continue to cry for as long as I needed. I wasn’t sure how long I had been crying when I felt myself begin to yawn and it wasn’t long after that when my eyes slipped shut.