Fall of Rome

When the morning came, I had no idea that the sun had even risen, because my head was still tucked underneath the blanket which blocked out all the light. I rustled beneath the covers, shifting my arms a bit until my right one slammed against a barricade. Startled at first, I moved back and flipped off the cover before my eyes settled on Dylan’s sleeping form next to me. I had completely forgotten that he had been laying with me just before I fell asleep, and assumed that he passed out a few moments after I did.

I took a deep breath and laid back, putting about a foot between Dylan and I and resting my head on top of the pillow, now peeking my head out of the blanket. I wasn’t sure if it was weird or creepy to be laying there watching him sleep, but it had been so long since I had actually woken up next to me, and the feeling was strange.

As if he felt my eyes on him, he stirred, so I closed my eyes so he wouldn’t catch me staring at him. I didn’t think I was even close to being decent at fake sleeping, but when I felt the weight rise off the bed I knew that Dylan didn’t have a clue. He was tiptoeing away when I finally decided to stop my charade and faked a yawn so he would think I was just waking up.

When my eyes landed on him, his face dropped and he threw his hands up in the air. “El, God, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to fall asleep and I just didn’t want to wake you and I’m so sorry and –”

“It’s okay, Dylan,” I said quickly, putting a stop to his babbling. “I don’t mind.”

“You – you don’t?” I shook my head and he smiled. “Would it – would it be alright if I came back to bed then?”

I nodded again and his smile widened. He seemed frozen in place while he looked at me, until he cleared his throat and began making his way to his side of the bed. He threw himself under the blanket and turned to face me, still smiling.

“How did you sleep?” he asked as he shoved his head into the pillow and nuzzled his ear into it.

I chuckled at him, because he just looked so damn cute and I hated it. “Good. How about you?”

“Amazing,” he replied, “I hope you’re well rested for a busy day.”

“What did you have planned?”

“You’ll have to see,” he said, a mischievous smile on his face. “You’re going to love it.”

It was strange to be feeling all these new things for Dylan, and I absolutely wanted to turn them off. He had hurt me. He had cheated on me. I couldn’t forget that, but still I wanted to lay in bed with him all day and never take my eyes off of him. I wanted to get as close to him as I possibly could and never, ever pull away.

Dylan’s eyes were locked right on mine, and I could see that his lips were trembling. He was holding something back and I could feel it. His hand reached toward my face, landing just behind my ear where he tugged at my hair.

“El, can I –” He breathed out, his words catching in his throat as he looked at me. His eyes looked like he’d be lost for days until he suddenly shook his head to snap himself out of it. “I better jump in the shower,” he said quickly, “we’ve got a busy day.”

I wanted to ask him what he was going to say, but decided against it and nodded my head. Why did it seem like as soon as I was moving closer to him that he was moving away?

He stood up from the bed and began walking out towards the hallway, where there was a separate shower for him. Just as his foot was about to leave my room, he stopped, his hands gripping onto the doorframe as he turned around to look at me.

“El, can I – can I ask you something?” I nodded my head quickly, with my mouth agape as I looked at
him. “Would it be alright if I kissed you?”

I nodded my head again, my heart racing, because that was all I could do. Dylan looked like he was going to run right for me before I had a chance to change my mind, but instead he took a few slow steps forward, his hands shaking more and more with every one he took. He kept moving until he couldn’t get any closer to me, and I stood up from the bed, looking up at him with my eyes blinking wildly.

“You’re sure?” he whispered, as he moved one hand to my hair, his fingers running down the length and pressing against my scalp. My body felt like it was going to collapse if I had to wait a moment longer and I nodded my head.

“I’m sure.”

He gave me a faint smile before his other hand fell to my hip while the one running through my hair moved gradually to my cheek. His thumb was rubbing just below my eyes, forcing me to shut them, and I felt my breathing go erratic with every inch he moved closer to me.

Soon he was so close that I could feel his breath falling against my face and he paused for a moment longer before I finally felt his lips against mine. The feeling was so powerful that it almost knocked me to the ground with my knees feeling like they no longer had the strength to hold me up. His hand gripped more tightly onto my hip, as if he knew I needed it there to keep me standing, and his lips caressed mine in a way that made my heart flutter.

After only a few seconds, he pulled away, his eyes looking straight into mine as heavy breaths left his lips.

“I’m sorry,” he breathed out, pressing his forehead against mine. “I didn’t think I could wait any longer.”

I smiled at him, pressing my forehead back against his. “It’s okay. It was nice.”

“Just nice?” he questioned, chuckling a bit as his finger brushed over my skin. “Do I need to try that again?” 

I nodded my head gently, smiling at him before he placed his lips on mine again. This time I could tell he was doing his best to try to wow me. He was doing all the things he did when we were together that he knew I loved, from rubbing his hand along my spine to switching between kissing my bottom and top lip over and over. My breathing was beginning to get uneven and I knew I had to pull away before my mind went down a path of thinking that I wasn’t ready to head towards.

“That was much better,” I said as I pulled away from him, turning my head away. My face must have shown some of what I was feeling because Dylan reached out for my arm and I turned me back to look at him. His eyes looked me up and down with worry, while his lips trembled.

“I’m so sorry, El. I shouldn’t have done that. It was too soon and I – I should’ve known not to. God, I’m so stupid.”

“It’s okay, Dylan,” I replied, shaking my head as I tried not to make eye contact with him. “I told you to do it.”

“I should’ve known that wasn’t what you meant. I’m such a fucking idiot. I’m so sorry, fuck.” Dylan was running his hand over his hair, looking down at his feet in disappointment with himself. “I can make this better, I swear. Do you want to talk about it?”

“No, Dylan, it’s fine,” I said, shaking my head again. “It was a great kiss, really. Just, maybe we should wait before we do it again?”

Dylan nodded his head quickly, taking my hand beneath his fingers. “Yeah, of course, El. I’ll wait as long as you want. I’m so, so sorry.”

He and I just looked at each other for a few, long moments, our eyes locked in a gaze I couldn’t pull away from. His sweet, soft eyes reminded me so much of home, and even when he had gone so far away, that feature about him still stayed the same. His eyes got to be too much for me, and I knew I couldn’t take it anymore.

Clearing my throat, I looked away from him, my eyes darting to the bathroom. “I better get in the shower now. You know, we’ve got a busy day.”

Dylan nodded his head quickly, clearing his throat the same way I did, and took a single step backward. “Yeah, sure, of course. I’ll go do the same.”

We smiled at each other briefly before Dylan took the last few steps out of my room and turned around. The entire time I was in the shower, all I could think about was Dylan, but I’m not sure if that made me shower faster or more slowly.

He was out of the shower long before I was, so I made sure to dress as quickly as I could. Still, he was waiting on the sofa when I was ready. As he stood up from his seat, turning to face me, he cleared his throat and smiled. “You look beautiful, El.”

“Thank you,” I said, my cheeks blushing up as I looked at him. “You ready?”

He nodded his head and began making his way to the door. “I’ve already got a cab waiting.”

It was freezing outside without my snow gear on, and I wished that I had packed a much heavier coat. My body was shivering by the time we hopped into the cab and Dylan chuckled at me, reaching his hands out for mine to warm them up. His fingers were rubbing back and forth over them while he smiled at me.

Luckily, the cab was warm, so I was warmed up in a few minutes. I didn’t tell Dylan that my fingers were no longer numb, and he didn’t take his hands away.

When the cab driver stopped in front of a large castle, I was a bit confused as to where we were and what we were doing, but Dylan seemed as confident as ever. He hopped out of the cab after paying the driver, then came around to my side and opened my door for me. Knowing how cold I was, he rushed us into the castle, where a few other people stood standing and an older woman greeted us.

“Welcome to Toftaholm Herrgård,” she said, clasping her hands together. “The most haunted castle in all of Sweden.”

My body immediately tensed up as she spoke and I turned to Dylan with my lips pursed. I gave a light shove to his chest while he chuckled at me, taking his arm and wrapping it around my shoulder.

“It’ll be fun, El,” he whispered into my ear as he pulled my body closer to him. “I promise.”

Though he sounded convincing, I definitely wasn’t sure if I believed him. I wasn’t afraid, per se, but places like that had always given me the creeps.

Our group began walking forward, listening to the older woman as she told stories of all the haunted happenings at Toftaholm. To anyone who didn’t know the truth about the castle, it would have looked ordinary with its old portraits and tattered carpets. The truth, though, was that awful things had happened there. Things that made chills run down my spine.

Dylan and I stayed to the back of the group for the most part, our shoulders almost touching as we walked side by side. He had taken his arm off me when we first began walking. I didn’t ask why then, but I was beginning to wish that he hadn’t, because the place was starting to give me the creeps.

When we went down into the cellar, goose bumps covered my body as our tour guide told us stories of the ghost who was said to haunt the place. It was terrifying to think that something else could be down there with us, and when a door slammed in the other room, my instincts went off. I jumped onto Dylan, clutching my arms around his neck, while I screamed into his shoulder. His hands flew around my waist as he chuckled at me, whispering into my ear. “It’s alright, El. It was only a ghost.”

I slapped my hand against his back before wrapping my arms more tightly around him. “That wasn’t funny.”

“Oh, come one,” he said, using one hand to rub up and down my back as he set me to the floor. “It was a little funny.” I shook my head and he smiled. “Just hold onto me and I promise I won’t let anything happen.”

His hand fell to my waist, gripping onto my hip while I clutched onto his chest. We walked the rest of the tour like that, with me jumping a few times when I was startled by nothing, and by the time the tour was over, I felt like my heart was up in my neck.

“That wasn’t so bad, was it?” Dylan asked, as he rubbed his hand up and down my shoulder.

I glared at him, folding my arms across my chest. “It was awful.”

Dylan chuckled at me before wrapping his arms around me and pulling me into a hug. My head rested into his shoulder like it had a thousand times before and he whispered in my ear. “You’ll never have to do it again, El. I promise.”

I smiled against his chest, pressing my face closer to him, just as the cab pulled up to take us back to the resort. Dylan made sure to get me back in the cab as quickly as possible, so I wouldn’t freeze again, and even though we weren’t outside more than a few seconds, Dylan still clutched onto my hands to warm them up, and I couldn’t help but wonder if he was doing it for himself or for me.