Fall of Rome

When Dylan told me we were going to visit the London Eye that afternoon, I got ready as quickly as I could, since I had woken up late that morning, so we could go as quickly as possible. He said that we had to eat before we could go, so I made sure to do that quickly too. The London Eye was one of the international landmarks I had wanted to see ever since I learned what it was.

There was something about being up so high, held only by some metal, right next to the ocean that excited me in ways I couldn’t explain. I was absolutely terrified of heights – I always had been – but some strange part of my brain had convinced me that the London Eye wouldn’t be so terrifying, just because I had been looking forward to going there for so long.

Upon arriving, I realized that the London Eye was everything I had always dreamed it would be. It was even taller than I had imagined, and the scent of the salty ocean catching in the air ignited every one of my senses.

I stood frozen as I watched the scene playing out in front of me, admiring all the people who seemed to be just as mesmerized as I was. Dylan’s hand fell on the small of my back, causing me to jump forward in shock. I still wasn’t sure if I was ready to have him touching me again.

He immediately took his hand back as he apologized profusely. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t –”

“It’s okay,” I said quickly, shaking my head. “You just startled me.”

Dylan smiled and nodded his head, before motioning in the direction of the monument. “I guess we should get in line, yeah?”

I nodded back, and we walked side by side to buy tickets before hopping in line. With the number of people in front of us, the wait was sure to be long, but I didn’t mind and I hoped Dylan didn’t either. The two of us didn’t say much for a while and just watched our surroundings while our minds were lost somewhere else.

As we took a step forward, my hand brushed against Dylan’s and it sent an electric touch through my body. We both looked at one another quickly and I pulled my hand away.

“Sorry,” I apologized, my voice coming out a few octaves higher than I had planned.

Dylan smiled at me, shaking his head. “Don’t be. It’s alright.”

I didn’t say anything, just pursed my lips as I nodded my head back. Dylan gave me another small smile as he took another step forward in line.

“Are you gonna do it again?”

“What?” I asked, turning my head to him, half not quite hearing what he said and half not knowing what he was talking about.

“You gonna get scared?” He asked again, leaning his back against the bar of the queue line as he looked at me. “At the fair you nearly cried when we reached the top.”

I smiled, remembering how he had held me when I thought I was going to crash to the ground and meet an early death. I remembered him laughing, too, and remarking about how adorable I was.

“That was different,” I replied, folding my arms across my chest.

“How?” He gave a small laugh as he tilted his head in question. “The one at the fair was half this size.”

“And also put up by a bunch of high school drop outs,” I countered. “You never know what’s going to happen with those things.”

Dylan smirked at me as he leaned forward. “Fair point. I guess you’ve got me there.”

“I do,” I said quickly, nodding my head in agreement. “This will be different.”

It wasn’t different, though. I knew the moment we reached the front of the line that I was going to be just as scared as I had been previous times. My heart was pounding so hard I could feel it in my throat, but I tried not to show Dylan that I was freaking out.

“Hop up,” the attendant said to the two of us, and Dylan stepped to the side so I could get in first.

As soon as I sat down, I heard a small creak, and I had to stop myself from jerking back. Dylan slid in much more effortlessly than I had and sat on the opposite bench as the attendant shut the door and locked us inside.

“You alright?” Dylan asked as he folded his hands on his lap. I nodded my head fiercely in my failed attempt at looking much more confident than I felt. Dylan smiled softly before continuing. “If you get scared, just let me know, alright?”

I nodded again and we jerked forward as we began lifting up into the air. I knew there would be a few more stops and starts as they loaded and unloaded all the patrons, so I tried to get myself ready for them, but it was hardly working.

We had nearly made it to the top when Dylan reached his hand out, placing it gently on my knee. “You still alright?”

I nodded quickly, but tightened my eyes. For some reason, his movement had sent me off balance. It was obvious I wasn’t fooling Dylan anymore and he sat up, switching over to my side of the bench. His switch had sent us swaying a bit and I sucked in a deep breath.

“It’s alright, El,” he said, his hand back on my knee as his thumb rubbed small circles into my skin. “You’re going to be alright.”

We jerked back again as more people had been let on, and the shock caused me to jump, clutching onto the thing nearest to me, which just happened to be Dylan. My head was shoved into his chest while my hands wrapped around his waist, with my legs so close to him I was practically sitting on top of him.

His arms clasped around me easily and he only pulled me closer to him, pressing his face into my hair. I could hear his deep breathing as he held me, rubbing one hand up and down my back while the other twirled my hair.

“I’ve got you, El. I won’t let anything happen to you, okay?” He whispered in my ear and I forced my head deeper into his chest. “It’s almost over and you won’t ever have to ride again, alright? We’ll get our feet back on the ground and I won’t let go of you until you’re safe again.”

The heat of Dylan’s body around me coupled with his soothing voice had me relaxing more and more by the second. I was still scared and couldn’t wait to be back on hard, stable ground again, but I no longer felt like I wanted to collapse into a mess on the floor.

We spun around again and moved down towards the ground only to be lifted back up as the wheel began its cycle around, with me as its unwilling victim. I tried to just focus on Dylan and not on the dizzying spinning we were doing. He kept whispering in my ear and rubbing his fingers against me until finally we came to a dead stop at the bottom.

As soon as the attendant opened the gate, Dylan stood up and lifted me with him, walking us both through the opening and back onto the ground. He still had his arms wrapped around my shoulder as we walked, and I didn’t even think about him letting go until we were halfway across the plaza and I realized I wasn’t in danger anymore.

I finally pulled away from him, to which he turned his body to face me.

“You alright now?” I nodded my head and he smiled. “Good. I hated seeing you so upset.”

His face reddened at that, as though he had realized something that I didn’t, and I didn’t bother asking. We both just looked at each other until Dylan’s eyes moved behind me and he gave me another smile.

“You wanna go out by the water?” He asked, nodding his head back towards the ocean.

“That sounds good,” I said quickly, and he began guiding me to the edge of the pier. His hand stayed on the small of my back as we moved through people, like he didn’t want to lose track of me or have me slip away.

When we reached the pier, the sun was beginning to set, and I had to admit that it was one of the most beautiful things I had ever seen. The way the sun cast on the water lit up everything around us and it was as if the whole world was on fire.

Dylan leaned his elbows against the wooden fence that separated us from the long drop down to the sea. His eyes were off somewhere in the distance, probably fixed on the same place I was. I couldn’t help but smile as I looked at that familiar look he had on his face. He was getting easier to look at, I realized, but there was still a part inside me that was apprehensive about speaking his name.

“Don’t worry, El,” Dylan said, smiling as he felt my eyes on him. “I’m not going to throw you in.”

I chuckled as I remembered the countless times before when he’d tossed me into large bodies of water, both clean and disgustingly dirty. “You sure about that?”

“Would I lie to you?”

He gave me a playful smile as a small smirk tugged at the edge of his lips. I couldn’t help but smile back at him, letting out a small laugh as he raised his eyebrow. My smile softened as I looked at him, until only the tiniest remnants of it were still there. His smirk was leaving his face slowly as well, while his eyes blinked down on me.

“Dylan, I –” My words caught in my throat for a moment before I cleared them out. “I just wanted to say thank you. You know, for making me feel better earlier.”

“Eleanor,” Dylan smiled, taking a step closer to me. “I’d give up everything in the world if it meant there was even a sliver of a chance that it would make you feel better.”

I smiled at him again as blush crept up to my cheeks. It was strange to have Dylan making me feel things besides anger and pain since what happened, and I had to remind myself not to let my brain get too clouded. I still smiled, though, because his smile had always been contagious.

“I just want to make you happy again, El,” Dylan said, as he reached his hand out, touching my cheek so gently it was as if he thought he might break me. “I want you to fall in love with me again.”

Dylan was looking at me with the most sincere eyes I had ever seen, and the way the sunset was falling on his skin lit up his whole face. He was so mesmerizing, and all I could do was look at him.

The scene was set. It was one of those moments right out of a movie, where everything was falling into place. The boy would kiss the girl and they’d be so in love they’d make everyone else cringe. But there was still a piece missing – one that was still out being fixed from the awful thing that Dylan had done.

Dylan’s thumb was rubbing against the apple of my cheek, while his eyes looked right into me, and he was leaning down, moving in for a kiss that should have been so easy. We had kissed a thousand times before, but I didn’t think I could do it anymore. At least not then.

“Dylan I –” I stuttered, my eyes blinking sporadically in fear. “I’m sorry, but I – I just can’t.”

Dylan pulled back quickly, nodding his head as he gave me the faintest smile.

“It’s okay,” he breathed out, the crack in his voice letting in on how desperate he was. “Don’t worry about it, El. I understand.”

I nodded my head and bit my lip, giving him a small smile back. “Thanks.”

His smile widened and I couldn’t tell if it was forced or not. He moved his head back towards the plaza once before turning back to me.

“We should grab something to eat and head back to the hotel, yeah? It’s starting to get late.”

The whole time we were at dinner I couldn’t get thoughts of that moment out of my head. It replayed over and over again, and I wondered how different things would be if I just kissed Dylan back. I wondered if it would make everything okay – if it would make everything fall back into place again.

He was trying. He was trying so hard to make things right again, and there was no telling how much longer it would be before we were there or if we would ever get there at all.

By the time we were ready to take a taxi back to the hotel, I was exhausted both physically and mentally. Dylan and I both hopped into the back of the cab and after Dylan gave the driver our address, the car fell into a comfortable silence. The sound of the engine was slowly drifting me off into dream land, and I felt myself yawn briefly before I slipped away.

When I woke up, I had my head resting on Dylan’s chest, while he had one arm wrapped around my shoulder. His body was so warm and comfortable, and my body forced itself deeper into him. He felt me shifting beneath him and squeezed me a little tighter, pulling me even closer to his chest.

I was awake for the rest of the ride, but kept my eyes closed as if I was still sleeping. When we pulled up to the hotel, Dylan paid the driver before carefully trying to lift me out of the car without waking me. The only moving I did was drawing myself closer to his chest, because there was nothing better than being carried to bed after a long day.

Dylan struggled a bit to get me up to the room without making too much noise, but I thought he did an excellent job, and if I hadn’t already been awake, he probably would have made it all the way to the bed without waking me up.

When he set me down, I stirred a bit, because I knew I couldn’t pretend to be asleep forever. He was taking off my shoes for me when I yawned, almost startling him.

“Good morning,” he said gently, smiling at me from the foot of the bed as he slipped my shoes completely off. “You can go back to sleep now.”

I yawned again, smiling at him as I pulled myself under the blanket. He chuckled and stepped up to my end of the bed, looking down at me with his sweet eyes. His hands moved to the sides of the blanket and tucked them underneath me, before fluffing up the edges of my pillow.

“Goodnight, El,” he said as he ran his hand across the blanket one last time. “I love you.”

I smiled at him, biting my lip. “Goodnight, Dylan.”

He gave me one last smile before heading over to the living room, wrapping himself in his blanket that was a little bit too small as he laid on top of the sofa that wasn’t long enough for him to stretch out his legs.