Time Bomb

If Riley was happy, truly happy then Josh couldn’t argue with that.

There was a noticeable difference in the way she acted; when she had arrived it was as if Riley hated everybody and everything. Now when Josh saw her, she was smiling, laughing and she seemed relaxed and it was as if she was enjoying this. Had he not drug her along for this, she’d still be at home being her miserable self. Josh could only imagine the things the girl would have got herself into had he not forced her into this.

Josh owed Jack, a lot. Giving out the rule of nobody talk to Riley had been dumb, Josh saw it now. If he had implied the rule full force, she’d still be sitting in her bunk sulking and hating him for the rest of her life. This really seemed to be changing things for Riley, she had an incident or two at the beginning of the tour, but as far as Josh knew she had been clean and doing really well since.

Flyzik reported daily, it was the same news as always. Riley was happy, they loved having her and she was one of the best bus guests they’d ever had. Josh always took the news well, but when he heard Riley tell him how happy she was, it had been the game changer. Part of him was so proud of her and part of him was terrified that once this was over, she’d be back to her old tricks.

Pushing himself away from where he was leaning against the wall, Josh called out to Matt, letting him know he wasn’t going far just out for a minute or two. There was nothing worse than somebody leaving right before a show started, too bad Josh had some things to do. Finding Jack chatting with a few stage hands, Josh excused them and drug Jack along with him. They needed to have a bit of a talk.

“What do we do when this is over? You know that we have maybe two weeks left out here and its back to the real world.” Josh stated, eyeing Jack curiously the second he got him out of ear shot.

The idea of Riley being left alone and torn apart again killed Josh. This was the worst time to discuss anything with Jack, but it had to be done. Jack was enough of a pro that he could go on stage and not let this bother him, like Josh he’d push it to the back of his mind for when his job was over. He could take it out after and dwell on it.

“I don’t know.” Jack shrugged and sighed. “I suspect she’ll go back home and so will I.”

“You do know that by just leaving her, you can do her more harm than good.” Josh added firmly. “A person like Riley, especially one who has made a progress can’t be left.”

“I know.” Jack muttered.

He hadn’t thought of what would happen when the tour ended and they went their separate ways. Riley didn’t deserve to have Jack walk out on her, he promised he wouldn’t and now here he was getting ready to. He cared about the girl, a lot, maybe more than he should. Jack couldn’t just leave her.

“You wanted to help her, you figure this out.” Josh commented. “Remember, if you hurt her I’ll still kill you.”

“You and Cassadee both.” Jack chuckled nervously.

As much as they loved watching the two bands perform, after a while it got a bit boring, lately Riley and Cassadee were going to fewer shows, opting to go for dinner, hang out on a bus or do something together that didn’t involve standing side stage listening to a thousand girls screaming at the top of their lungs while Alex and Jack made dick jokes and Josh made fun of Ian for being a dick. They caught the occasional show, not letting their support waver entirely.

“Have you talked to Jack yet?” Cassadee asked shoving a handful of popcorn in her mouth. Her eyes never left the movie that was playing on the television in the back lounge.

“I talk to Jack every day.” Riley chuckled shoving a handful of popcorn into her own mouth.

Cassadee shook her head. “No, I mean about your feelings.” She sang out.

Swallowing hard, Riley paused, her blue eyes fixing on the television as a way to avoid Cassadee’s gaze. Damn it, the other girl really enjoyed cutting to the chase, a quality Riley admired and hated about Cassadee Pope.

“No.” Riley mumbled in reply.

“Why not?” Cassadee cried throwing her arms in the air, almost knocking over their bowl of popcorn.

“I haven’t found the right time?” Riley asked, cautiously, shrugging for emphasis.

“For fuck sakes, Riley.” Cassadee gushed. “You don’t need a right time; just damn well tell the boy you like him. This is Jack,; he is clueless, if you’re waiting for him to get the hint it will never happen. Just tell him, okay.

“Cass, it really isn’t that easy.” Riley sighed softly.

“Do not make me tell him for you! Oh no! Hell no, you are doing this on your own girlie. Put on your big girl panties and go for it.” Cassadee stated waving her hands around wildly as she spoke.

“You don’t need to tell him. Nobody does!” Riley snapped bitterly. Hanging her head, she winced at the tone of her own voice. She hadn’t meant to snap at Cassadee.

“Okay then.” Cassadee replied this time a little less dramatic.

Turning to face Cassadee, with her head still hung low and her dark hair covering her face, Riley picked uneasily at the loose thread on the sleeve of Jack’s sweater that she had been wearing. He’d more or less given up all rights to his favourite Ravens hoodie when Riley had began wearing it, because it was soft and snuggly on the inside. Unsure of how to explain herself, Riley blinked hard biting her bottom lip.

Cassadee was a great person, a fantastic friend and the only real girlfriend Riley had ever had. Riley really enjoyed her, but sometimes she didn’t know when to let something go. Yes, Riley liked Jack and maybe she was in love with him, she’d never admit that part to anybody. Things for her and Jack just didn’t seem to work out when Riley put it together in her mind. Once this tour was over, Jack would go back to his life and Riley hers.

“I didn’t mean to get pushy.” Cassadee stated quietly, picking her the end of her hair.

“I didn’t mean to get nasty with you.” Riley apologized just as quietly.

There they sat, like two children who were scared to speak after being yelled at by an adult. This was silly, they were adults and they both had the right to express themselves.

“I’m sorry.” Cassadee whispered, holding her arms out to Riley.

“I’m sorry too.” Riley replied hugging Cassadee tightly to show there were no hard feelings.

If they developed a distain for one another now, it was only going to make things hell for the rest of this tour. They knew it wasn’t personal, why bother being mad?

“I know you really like Jack and he likes you. I just want you to be happy.” Cassadee explained with her voice still soft and quiet.

“I know you do. I just don’t see how Jack and I could work.” Riley explained, still picking at the purple thread on the hoodie sleeve.

Raising her brow in question, Cassadee scooted closer to Riley, wrapping an arm around her and smiling sweetly. “You’re scared, but you don’t know until you try.”

“I’m scared that if I tell Jack how I feel, he’ll walk away like everybody else. People always leave me Cass.” Riley sniffled, doing her best not to cry.

Sighing, Cassadee shifted uneasily and nodded.

She understood how Riley felt. They’d had enough talks to know that they weren’t from that different of a background. Both of them knew what it was like to have somebody walk out, to feel like it was your entire fault that the person had left. Relationships scared Cassadee to death, which is why she got lucky with Rian. He understood how she and Riley felt, he had the same background, too bad they couldn’t clone him but it was useless because Jack was way better for Riley anyway.

“I don’t want to make the same mistakes as my parents, y’know?” Riley said through her tears. Damn it, as much as she tried to fight them they came anyway.

“Yeah, I hear ya.” Cassadee nodded, wiping her own tears. “But Jack isn’t your dad, Riley. He isn’t any of those other jerks who broke your heart either.”

“I know and that’s what makes this so hard.” Riley sobbed, wiping her tears away with Jack’s sweater.

The sweater smelled like Jack and it was comforting, it was part of why Riley enjoyed having it so much. It was a warm comfort, when Jack wasn’t around or when she needed his comfort, but didn’t want to actually burden him.

“Jack is the only guy, I’ve ever been with who actually cared about me.” Riley confessed quietly. “I’ve never had a boyfriend or friend, who actually cared for me as a person.”

“Oh sweetie.” Cassadee cooed, pulling Riley in for another hug. Rubbing Riley’s back, she held her as tightly as she could.

“I’m scared if I tell him how I feel, he’ll get scared or what if he doesn’t want me?” Riley asked through another sob. “I can’t take the chance of losing what I have. I like Jack, a lot but what if he doesn’t care about me?”

“But Jack does care. I know he does.” Cassadee replied, blinking back her own batch of fresh tears. The poor girl in her arms was a complete mess on the inside and pretty broken too, it broke Cassadee’s heart to know somebody so loving and caring was so fragile. Riley had a tough exterior for sure. “He never stops talking about you; Rian said Jack never shuts up about you.”

Rian wouldn’t lie. Riley knew this for fact.

“The other night, when we went for dinner he was so worried about you that Zack had to hide his phone so he wouldn’t call you every five minutes making sure you were okay.” Cassadee explained, causing Riley to chuckle slightly. “Jack really cares for you or he wouldn’t be doing what he’s doing for you. The way he looks at you, it’s so adorable. His eyes light up when somebody even talks about you.”

Riley sniffled, a faint smile crossing her lips.

“And the way he smiles when he’s with you or around you. Jack is such a love sick puppy; he doesn’t know which end is up when you’re around him. You bring out the real Jack, the happy, goofy, carefree loving and compassionate Jack. I’ve never seen him be that way with a girl.” Cassadee finished with a big smile.

“Thank you.” Riley smiled, wiping away the rest of her tears and the faint smudge of makeup that made her look like a racoon.

“For the truth?” Cassadee chuckled, regaining her own composure.

“For that and being my first real friend.” Riley grinned throwing her arms around Cassadee’s neck.

“As your first real friend, may I suggest the next time you see Jack Barakat, tell him how you feel.” Cassadee smiled, kissing Riley on the cheek with a laugh.