You Had My Heart At Least for the Most Part

As I sat in my bunk, contemplating the amazing yet inappropriate encounter I shared with Vanessa, the guys came back on the bus. They all went out to dinner with Larry as a treat due to the end of our tour in a few days. I decided to stay behind because I wanted to call home and talk to my family. My little brother Matt was getting married to his girlfriend Tara. Zina was engaged to her boyfriend, Mike. My mom kept bugging me, telling me I needed to get my mind off of my career and find a girl to settle down with. If only she knew how complicated it was. I had a cocky, arrogant friend who stole all the girls. I told my Mom the guys were back and hung up the phone. That was about a half hour ago. Since then my mind has been playing what happened with Vanessa over and over in my head, taunting me.

“Hey man,” Jimmy said as he climbed into his bunk which was right across from mine.

“Hey,” I mumbled as I pulled the curtain down the rod to see him better.

“How was your alone time?” He smirked. “And girls stop by?”

“No,” I laughed and shook my head, “just called my family.”

“Why? You will be seeing them in a few days.” Jimmy laughed.

“Yeah, I know. But I just wanted to see what I should expect when I get there.” I shrugged as I stared up at the ceiling.

My mind started to wander to Vanessa until Jimmy spoke again. “Any exciting news?”

I cleared my throat since I felt it closing up, thinking about how I probably won’t see Vanessa again. But that’s probably a good thing under the circumstances. “Well Zina is engaged to Mike and Matt is getting married to Tara.”

“Damn.” He laughed.

“Yeah, that’s what I said.” I laughed a little.

“Well I am going to get some sleep. We have that fucking interview tomorrow,” Jimmy mumbled into his pillow as he turned on his side.

I closed my curtain and sighed with my eyes shut. I still could not fathom Vanessa’s motives. Was she just trying to use me for sex like she did with Brian? God damn what was this girl doing to me?! I should not be acting like this. I should be looking forward to going home and congratulating my little brother for getting married and my sister for being engaged. Why was I still thinking about Vanessa when she has not been around for almost two whole weeks?

I got out of my car once I parked in the driveway of my parents house. I slung my book bag over my shoulder and walked to the front door. “I’m home!” I called as I opened it, stepping inside.

“Zach!” I heard my Mother squeal as she made her way from the kitchen to the foyer. I heard her high heels bang against the hard wood floors with every energized step she took. Her heels finally found their way to me, and she closed the gap between us with a giant hug. “Oh, I have missed you so much!” she put her hand on either side of my face and kissed my forehead. “You look so grown up!”

“Is that Zach?” I heard my Father’s masculine voice pose from his office at the top of the stairs.

“Hey Dad!” I hollered up to him as my Mother grabbed my bag for me which was unnecessary since my bag was probably heavier than she was. My father’s shoes tapped against each step as he made his way down to me.

“Well look at you,” he laughed and pulled me into a hug, “growing facial hair.” He patted my cheek.

“I haven’t had time to shave,” I laughed. My parents and I caught up about what I have been up these past few months. I told them we were going to be touring again soon, and that Matt and Val were engaged finally. As I told them a select few stories from being on the road, we walked to the backyard and sat down at the table on the deck, over looking the pool and the elegant back yard.

Matt and Zina came over that night to say hello and to talk to me about what has been going on in their lives. Zina was getting married to her fiancé Mike in less than two weeks. She told me I would be walking down the aisle with one of her friends. Zina lacked details since she was leaving to go to a surprise party for her friends who are arriving from a long trip.

It was the day of Zina’s wedding. My mother was a wreck of course, and my father was quiet as usual. It has been almost two months since I last thought about Vanessa. My mind tried to reflect the times I saw her, but I had to think of something else. I would not let a mere girl ruin my day. Especially at my older sister’s wedding.

“You look good.” My brother Matt said as he patted my shoulder.

“Thanks.” I laughed a little and fixed my suit jacket.

“What’s been bothering you?” He asked as he sat in a chair, taking a bite of a refreshment one of the hotel’s keepers brought for when we waited.

“What?” I tried to act confused, but it didn’t fool my brother. He was younger than I, but smart.

“Don’t act dumb, Zach. I know something has been bothering you. You’re not acting like yourself.” he looked at me as he tossed the roll in the air.

Great. I wanted to forget about Vanessa and my bother brings her up. Not intentionally, but that means I have to tell him about her. I couldn’t. If I told him everything, I would end up thinking of her more, leading to me feeling miserable at such a happy occasion. I had to lie to my brother. “Just dazed.” I laughed a little.

“Why?” Matt eyed me suspiciously.

“Everyone’s getting married.” I laughed quietly. “You, Zina, Matt and Val.”

“What? And you’re letting Mom get to you when she asks when it will be your turn?” he laughed and walked up next to me again.

“Well, no,” I lied. “Okay, maybe." No thoughts of Vanessa. Of course not.

“Zach,” Matt laughed and smacked my back a little, “that is what has been bothering you?”

“Yeah,” I lied hesitantly.

Matt just rolled his eyes with a deep chuckle. “You have nothing to worry about. You are the rock star, remember?”

“Yeah, but how many girls actually want to be with me and not just sleep with me to tell all their friends they fucked a rock star?” It wasn’t appropriate to use those words or that tone with my brother. It just lashed out.

“Has that happened?” Matt asked once he pulled together this thoughts.

“Forget it.” I sighed. “I shouldn’t be talking about my girl problems at my sister’s wedding.” I buttoned my jacket then sat on the edge of the bed to pull on my shoes.

“What’s her name?” He pressed sitting next to me.

“Matt, seriously.” I sighed.

“No, Zach. I’m your brother. Just tell me what is really going on.” He seemed to be worried. He was right. I should tell him.

I took a deep breath to respond, but the door opened. Saved by my father, I thought as I stood up acting happy to see him. “Ready to go boys?” he asked.

“Yep.” I nodded and walked out quickly with Matt and my father trailing behind me. I reached the hallway which lead to the back of the hotel where Mike stood, waiting for his fiancé to walk down the red carpet to marry him.

“Your mother is getting Zina’s friends.” My dad explained just as I was about to ask where they were.

The rest of Mike’s groom’s men arrived behind Matt and I right before the girls did. My heart fell to the pit of my stomach when I figured out who one of the girls were. Vanessa.