You Had My Heart At Least for the Most Part

“Zacky?” I heard a girl ask as I leaned against my car, staring at the waves that were so tempting.

I turned and saw Claire grinning. The wind was blowing through her hair, showing how beautiful her face was. Her eyes seemed to gleam in the sunlight as she squinted at me. “Hey.” I smiled and pushed myself off the car.

“What are you doing here?” Her voice was so angelic and innocent. It was sweet and soft. Her feet carried her over right next to me, letting her arm brush against mine.

I dig my hands deeper in my pockets since I was starting to get a little shy. “I just wanted to get away from the family.” I laughed.

“That bad, huh?” She looked up at me with her amazing smile.

“Yeah.” I laughed. “Mike and Zina are living with my parents until they find a house and Matt and Tara are over. It was too crowded.”

“I know how that is.” She laughed and leaned back against my car. I soon joined her, just wanting to be by her side.

“What are you doing out here?” I asked looking down at her to my left.

She shrugged and stared out at the ocean. “I was just walking around. Then I happened to see a very good looking guy leaning against a very sexy car.” she laughed.

“Oh really?” I smirked.

“Yep. So I thought I would stop by.” She smiled.

“Well that guy is very glad you did.” I smiled.

“He better be.” She smiled then pushed herself off my car. “I am going to head home.”

“Let me drive you," I offered.

“I live right down that street.” She laughed pointing to one of the streets off Pacific Coast Highway.

“Oh,” I laughed a little, “I forgot.”

She laughed and stood on her tip toes and kissed my cheek. I smiled and blushed a little looking down at her. “Call me?”

“I will.” I smiled as she walked away, biting her lip. I watched her as she walked away from me. I couldn’t wait to see her again. Since I ran into Claire again, it seemed like everything was finally back to normal. I didn’t care about Brian and the girls he slept with. I didn’t care about anyone or anything. Not even that ‘V’ girl crossed my mind. Claire was all I thought about, and I was hoping something would happen between us.

“Brian!” A girl giggled as there was a thud against the bus door. I rolled my eyes and sipped my beer as I flipped through the channels on the television. I wasn’t going to let Brian and his ‘girl’ ruin my mood. I just got off the phone with Claire. She was going to be coming over soon. Just thinking about her being here with me made my stomach jolt.

I heard the door open and I looked over on instinct. I saw a brunette with her arms wrapped around Brian’s neck. Their lips were locked against one another’s. I rolled my eyes once more and went to look away. But when Brian and the girl gasped for air, I froze. This wasn’t just any girl. It was Vanessa. Again. “What the fuck?” I whispered to myself.

The girl must have heard me. Her and Brian pulled away from each other’s lips and looked over at me. Vanessa sighed and looked away from me. “Um.” She looked down embarrassed.

I got up from the couch and pushed past them to go outside. Just when everything was finally back to normal in my life, she had to come back in and ruin it. Why couldn’t she find some other guy to sleep with? Was she seriously that desperate? Why Brian? What the hell did he have to offer? I slammed the door shut behind me. “Fuck!” I yelled, kicking the side of the bus. Why am I bothered by this still? I found a new girl. One that didn’t screw my best friend. One I could start clean with. Why Vanessa? Why now?

I slid down the side of the bus and sipped my beer as I stared at the street light that was flickering. I imagined how different things would be with out her. I wouldn’t have to deal with this amount of guilt I felt for sleeping with a girl I wasn’t dating. Especially a girl who didn’t feel anything towards me. I can’t deal with this anymore! I was so sick of this aching feeling in my chest every time I saw her. I still felt it. I couldn’t deny it. But why her? God damn I can’t do this.

A half hour passed as I sat there, thinking about what to do. Finally I decided to go to the bar which was just down the street. I walked in and sat at a table alone. I needed time to just think about things. Vanessa can’t be in my life anymore. I need to move on. I was trying. But she was trying to get back in my life. How was this fair?

“Zacky?” A girl asked as I lifted my beer to my lips.

I looked up and saw Claire smiling. “Hey.” I smiled back, forgetting everything else.

“What are you doing here alone?” She asked, sitting down across from me.

“I got sick of being on the bus,” I lied with a laugh. I didn’t have to tell her the truth.

She laughed and looked at me. “You look stressed. Is everything okay?”

As she asked that question, the bell above the bar door rang. I looked past Claire and saw Vanessa walk in. She wasn’t with Brian, much to my surprise. But what was she doing here? My eyes followed her as she made her way to the bar where the bartender took her order. Claire noticed my sudden interest in something behind her, and she turned around. “Do you know her?” She turned back and looked at me.

“What? Oh,” I looked away from Vanessa and back at Claire, “um, sort of.” I shrugged.

“You do,” Claire looked me in the eyes, “I can tell.”

“Well, yeah, I do.” I nodded. “But not that well.”

“Who is she?” Claire posed.

“Some friend of Brian’s.” I shrugged and looked down at my drink, suddenly interested.

“Oh.” Claire nodded, knowing there was more to it. I looked back up at Vanessa and caught her eye. She sighed and looked away. I did the same, and Claire noticed. “Zach, tell me the truth.”

“You don’t want to know the truth.” I told her truthfully, laughing a little.

“Do you like her?” She asked seriously.

“No, no.” I shook my head. I couldn’t tell if I was telling her the truth, or trying to convince myself I had no feelings for Vanessa anymore. “Not at all.”

“Does she like you?” Claire asked seeing Vanessa glance over at me.

“No.” I shook my head again.

“So,” Claire smirked and made her way over to me, “she wouldn’t mind if I did this?” She put her hand on the back of my neck and pressed her lips hard against mine. My eyes widened, but I quickly found pleasure. I closed my eyes and kissed her back, lost in the kiss. I felt Claire’s tongue on my bottom lip, asking permission. I spaced my lips and her tongue slid into my mouth. I put my hand on her side and pulled her down into my lap. She wrapped her arms around me and ran her fingers through my hair.

I opened my eyes during the kiss. I had to. I instantly found Vanessa at the bar. She looked heart broken. She set her drink down then walked out of the bar quickly. What was her problem? Why did she look so miserable. She didn’t have feelings for me. She even told me that! God what was going on? Claire slowly pulled away, noticing my sudden lack of interest. She sighed and got up then grabbed her purse.

“Where are you going?” I asked confused.

“You like her, Zacky,” Claire said sadly. “It’s obvious. And I’m not playing in your little game.” She turned on her heel and walked out of the bar.

“Fuck.” I sighed and let my face fall into my hand. What the hell was I going to do? I just hurt two girls I cared about. Yeah, I cared about Vanessa again. Why can’t things get easier?