Drank the Poison

Throughout the hour long meeting I was on the verge of a panic attack. My mom kept shushing and nudging my arm every few minutes, but I could not stop fidgeting. The more I thought about it and the longer I heard nothing from Vic, the faster I just wanted this night to be over with. I couldn’t breathe properly as long as Vic wasn’t replying to me.

I tried my hardest not to make eye contract with James, who kept shooting me apologetic looks. But even if we had continued talking, it’s not like anything would have changed.

Vic is still MIA, and we are all still clueless.

Finally after the closing prayer, the meeting got let out. I ran out to the parking lot while my clueless mom gossiped with her friends. As I passed the front of the meeting room I saw James who was smoking and talking to all of his friends, clearly not being as frantic as I was.

After I finally got to the parking lot, I searched everywhere for Vic. But he was nowhere.

I half expected him to be there like he always was, ready to save the day and take me away. But he wasn’t.

I took out my phone for the thousandth time that night to check if there were any messages. And of course there were none.

I didn’t care how clingy I was being, I was scared god damn it. So for the fifth time I took out my phone and called Vic. I had called four times during the break and had texted him every ten minutes or so, but every time I was sent either to voice mail or received no response.

But I tried my luck again and the phone rang for what felt like ten minutes before a miracle happened.

“Kellin?” An exhausted sounding Vic picked up the phone. His words sounded a little slurred, which terrified me, but he also sounded like he had just been woken up.

“Vic? Are you there? It’s Kellin. Are you okay? Where are you?” I asked anxiously, trying (and failing) to calm myself.

“Wow there Kells. Hi. Yes I’m fine. I just lost track of time and fell asleep for a while. Take a breath babe.” He said like I was being way too over dramatic.

“Why didn’t you respond to me? I was freaking out, and you were just.. Gone.” Now that I knew he was okay, I wanted some answers.

“I don’t know what you want me to say Kells, it was an accident. Nothing more, nothing less.” He responded sounding mildly annoyed. I was surprised at how rude he was being, considering he was the one who had caused all of this.

“Have you been drinking?” I blurted out.

I now realize that that was me jumping to conclusions. But I just wanted the honest truth.

“Are you kidding me right now Kellin? Nice you know you have so much faith in me. Fuck you.”

My mouth dropped open. What cause this switch in his personality? Was that too harsh?

“Vic, you know I didn’t mean it like that. I’m just worried about you, and I know it’s been hard dealing with your AA apologizes. And-”

I heard an exasperated sigh come from the other end of the phone. “James told you about that?”

“Obviously. It’s not like you told me.” I snapped at him, obviously a little hurt that he never shared this with me.

“I would have told you Kellin, but I didn’t think it was necessary. I can take care of myself you know.”

“I know you can Vic, but what’s the point of ‘us’ if you can’t come to me when you need help?”

“That’s cause I don’t need help Kellin!” He shouted at me.

That made me take a step back for a minute. We were getting far too emotional, and this conversation wasn’t going anywhere good.

“Listen Vic I got to go.” I wasn’t made at him, I was just a little hurt right now. “I just need a break.”

“No. Kellin, wait. I didn’t mean it like that-” He began, but I hung up the phone.

I just needed a minute by myself to collect my thoughts.

And after a little while my mom showed up and we drove home. I could feel my phone going off and buzzing every minute or so, but I couldn’t answer it cause my mom was right there. But I also didn’t want to continue this conversation over the phone. It needs to be face to face.

And my wish was granted sooner than I had anticipated. As we drove past the bottom of my street, I saw a big black Range Rover with a beautiful looking guy in the driver’s seat.

We got home and my mom unlocked the front door. We said goodnight to each other, before heading off to our bedrooms.

I jogged upstairs and into my room. I went over to my window and opened the blinds. Sure enough Vic was standing in my front lawn. As soon as he saw me he waved, trying to tell me to come outside.

If he wants to talk right here, right now, then I do too. I nodded, and a huge grin appeared on his face.

I silently opened my bedroom door. I could her my mom’s shower running so I knew I was in the clear. I sped through the house, and out the front.

As soon as I did so, I saw Vic running over to me. He wrapped his arms around me and held on for dear life.

“I thought I’d lost you.” He said into my ear.

It was such an exaggeration. It wasn’t like I said we were done or anything like that. Why was he so scared? I pulled out of the hug, and looked Vic up and down.

It seemed like he had been crying. Did our tiny argument really have that big of an effect of him?

I put both my hands on his cheeks so his eyes focused on mine.

“Vic what’s going on?”

“Are you leaving me?” He genuinely asked.

It was such a ridiculous question. Obviously not. I want to be with him for a lot longer than this. He’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I wouldn’t throw ‘us’ away for something as small as this miscommunication. He was being so dramatic, but it was so authentic that I felt sympathy for him.

Instead of saying anything, I pulled him close and kissed Vic as deeply as I could. He returned the kiss with just as much vigor. It was like he craved me.

“C-can I sleep here tonight?” He asked looking exhausted.

Tomorrow was Saturday so that wasn’t a problem. I felt bad for this boy and I really didn’t want him to think that I was still upset about tonight, so I hooked my arm round his waist and we walked into the house and up to my bedroom.

I stripped to my boxers and so did Vic. Usually he would make some sexual comment, but tonight was different.

It almost had a somber vibe to it. So we didn’t do much talking as we slipped into bed. As usual Vic took me into his arms and I laid my head on his chest.

And that was where we fell asleep, both happy to put this night behind us.