Status: Complete, but two possible endings will be written.
Darling, We'll Be Okay
I'm Not Okay
"You deserve to die, you stupid fucking piece of shit."
The words rang through my ears, echoing and repeating themselves, as my father struck me one more time, before storming from my door and slamming it behind him. Blindly, I pawed for my phone, then I realized it was downstairs, and I didn't have the courage, nor motivation, to go get it. My face stung, and my sides ached, a sore pain shooting through them as I turned my body to lay down, curling into a ball and beginning to sob. Maybe he was right, maybe I did deserve to die. Nobody would really miss me, maybe Matty, but he seemed to be focused on everything but me currently, so probably not.
Maybe twenty minutes later, I heard the front door slam, and I slowly rose from my bed, opening my door and hurrying as fast as I could downstairs to get my phone from the coffee table, ignoring the aches in my sides, then hurrying back upstairs. I threw my phone into my bedroom, then went to the bathroom to see just how bad it was. Grimacing at myself in the mirror as I observed my face, I figured it was probably the same as every other time, a split lip, a bruise or two under the eye, and the right side of my face completely red. I rummaged through some of my things, grabbing the tiny box from under the sink, before heading back to my room and shutting my door.
Gently, I set the box down and picked up my phone, seeing three text messages and four missed calls, all from Matty. I opened the texts firsts, scanning them.
From Matty<3:
Hey babe sorry i havent been texting you recently. I've been busy
Sent 5:25 PM
Rolling my eyes a little I clicked the next one.
From Matty<3:
Kellin??? Are you ok?? You arent answering the phone
Sent 6:00 PM
He must've called after a while. At least two times I'm guessing. I opened the last message.
From Matty<3:
Youre starting to scare me, Kells, answer the phone
Sent 6:45 PM
I glanced upwards at the time, seeing that it was almost seven-thirty, and sighed to myself, debating whether I should call him back, or just text him. I reached over and grabbed the little box I got from the bathroom, opening it and sighing softly down at its contents. Three shiny razors glared up at me, two of them untouched and clean, one of them dull and slightly bloodstained. I picked up the used one and played with it, twirling it in my fingers while I thought about what to do. I hummed to myself for a moment, before setting the blade back in the box, and getting my phone again. A text would be better, I could explain it all without him interrupting, which I know he'd try and do.
To Matty<3:
Matty, I love you so much, but I can't do this anymore. You're never around anymore, and don't try and say you were busy, because I know it's a lie. When you are around, you're focused on something other than me, and when I need you most, you're never there. My father's getting worse, he's going to end up breaking something or killing me, so I'm going to do it for him. I can't take it anymore. I'm sorry, I love you.
Sent 7:31 PM
After I sent the message, I took a shaky breath and took another one of the razors in my hand, one of the clean ones. I set the box off to the side, staring at the piece of metal, before lowering it to my wrist, where multiple other scars littered the skin. I wasn't going to try looking for a place with no scars, because I wanted old ones to reopen, I wanted the extra pain. As the metal touched my skin, I slid it across quickly, then repeated, taking a few deep, shaky breaths, feeling relief wash over me, as well as pain. I pressed down hard a few of the times, hoping I went deeper than I have before, and believing I did from the aching pain that began shooting up my arm. I switched hands and started doing the same to my other arm, choking back a small gasp a few times. I heard my phone go off, and I glanced down at it, seeing a message from Matty. I looked away as I started to get lightheaded, sliding the razor across my wrist a couple of times, before it fell from my grip, and I all but fell to the floor. I managed to grab my phone before I slid down, blinking at it with blurred vision. I could barely see straight, but I managed to unlock my phone and read the message.
From Matty<3:
What?? Kellin, please dont tell me youre.... oh god..i'll be there in like ten minutes
I dropped my phone without replying, the spots in my eyes getting bigger, and making it hard for my eyes to stay open. I could vaguely feel the crimson liquid dripping down my arm, just barely, as I sat there. Soon, I gave up fighting, and let the darkness take over, right as I heard the front door open in a hurry, steps flying up the stairs. I managed to open my eyes enough to see my door burst open, and the look on Matty's face as he dropped to his knees. The last thing I remember before I completely blacked out, is what Matty said, and his distraught voice. "Oh, God, Kellin, NO!"
The words rang through my ears, echoing and repeating themselves, as my father struck me one more time, before storming from my door and slamming it behind him. Blindly, I pawed for my phone, then I realized it was downstairs, and I didn't have the courage, nor motivation, to go get it. My face stung, and my sides ached, a sore pain shooting through them as I turned my body to lay down, curling into a ball and beginning to sob. Maybe he was right, maybe I did deserve to die. Nobody would really miss me, maybe Matty, but he seemed to be focused on everything but me currently, so probably not.
Maybe twenty minutes later, I heard the front door slam, and I slowly rose from my bed, opening my door and hurrying as fast as I could downstairs to get my phone from the coffee table, ignoring the aches in my sides, then hurrying back upstairs. I threw my phone into my bedroom, then went to the bathroom to see just how bad it was. Grimacing at myself in the mirror as I observed my face, I figured it was probably the same as every other time, a split lip, a bruise or two under the eye, and the right side of my face completely red. I rummaged through some of my things, grabbing the tiny box from under the sink, before heading back to my room and shutting my door.
Gently, I set the box down and picked up my phone, seeing three text messages and four missed calls, all from Matty. I opened the texts firsts, scanning them.
From Matty<3:
Hey babe sorry i havent been texting you recently. I've been busy
Sent 5:25 PM
Rolling my eyes a little I clicked the next one.
From Matty<3:
Kellin??? Are you ok?? You arent answering the phone
Sent 6:00 PM
He must've called after a while. At least two times I'm guessing. I opened the last message.
From Matty<3:
Youre starting to scare me, Kells, answer the phone
Sent 6:45 PM
I glanced upwards at the time, seeing that it was almost seven-thirty, and sighed to myself, debating whether I should call him back, or just text him. I reached over and grabbed the little box I got from the bathroom, opening it and sighing softly down at its contents. Three shiny razors glared up at me, two of them untouched and clean, one of them dull and slightly bloodstained. I picked up the used one and played with it, twirling it in my fingers while I thought about what to do. I hummed to myself for a moment, before setting the blade back in the box, and getting my phone again. A text would be better, I could explain it all without him interrupting, which I know he'd try and do.
To Matty<3:
Matty, I love you so much, but I can't do this anymore. You're never around anymore, and don't try and say you were busy, because I know it's a lie. When you are around, you're focused on something other than me, and when I need you most, you're never there. My father's getting worse, he's going to end up breaking something or killing me, so I'm going to do it for him. I can't take it anymore. I'm sorry, I love you.
Sent 7:31 PM
After I sent the message, I took a shaky breath and took another one of the razors in my hand, one of the clean ones. I set the box off to the side, staring at the piece of metal, before lowering it to my wrist, where multiple other scars littered the skin. I wasn't going to try looking for a place with no scars, because I wanted old ones to reopen, I wanted the extra pain. As the metal touched my skin, I slid it across quickly, then repeated, taking a few deep, shaky breaths, feeling relief wash over me, as well as pain. I pressed down hard a few of the times, hoping I went deeper than I have before, and believing I did from the aching pain that began shooting up my arm. I switched hands and started doing the same to my other arm, choking back a small gasp a few times. I heard my phone go off, and I glanced down at it, seeing a message from Matty. I looked away as I started to get lightheaded, sliding the razor across my wrist a couple of times, before it fell from my grip, and I all but fell to the floor. I managed to grab my phone before I slid down, blinking at it with blurred vision. I could barely see straight, but I managed to unlock my phone and read the message.
From Matty<3:
What?? Kellin, please dont tell me youre.... oh god..i'll be there in like ten minutes
I dropped my phone without replying, the spots in my eyes getting bigger, and making it hard for my eyes to stay open. I could vaguely feel the crimson liquid dripping down my arm, just barely, as I sat there. Soon, I gave up fighting, and let the darkness take over, right as I heard the front door open in a hurry, steps flying up the stairs. I managed to open my eyes enough to see my door burst open, and the look on Matty's face as he dropped to his knees. The last thing I remember before I completely blacked out, is what Matty said, and his distraught voice. "Oh, God, Kellin, NO!"
♠ ♠ ♠
There's two ways this could go, and I'm working on writing them. I'll post them when I get the chance.Don't hate me. ;-;